Where I am
I've not really spoken about what it's like in my life at the moment. I've concentrated about what's been happening and my thoughts on those issues, rather than the complete package. Well, time that was remedied.
The place where I live is beautiful. Especially on days like today. The sun has been beaming down since the early morning and it splits through the curtains so that I wake up feeling cheery even if I've got lots of annoying stuff to do that day. My bathroom is particularly good for adding a sunny disposition to my day, as the sunlight really allows you to bask in the glow. I know it'll sound weird but the Sun is different down here. Up in Liverpool, whether it was the pollution in the air or just the angles that all my houses and flats were set at, the sun just didn't look or feel as mellow and orangey as it does down here. It also seems to come out a lot more often, though that could be due to the fact that I'm actually up and around for just about every hour it is, instead of sleeping through 'til midday!
The countryside is very agricultural, as I think I've mentioned. This doesn't make it any less impressive. It's covered with massive fields that glow with greens and yellows even at this stage of the year. In the distance, and boy can you see way into the distance with land as flat and undulating as Oxfordshire, there's always a little village with a church spire breaking up the fields, trees and hedges. Little brooks and canals are almost as common as roads, while footpaths, though I use the term very loosely, and bridleways give interesting detours when you feel like exploring. Just today, when I decided to come home from Banbury using a slightly different route, I saw a signpost for a Footpath pointing directly out into the middle of a field. No indication of where it went or where in the field the footpath was meant to go but, should you want to walk out in that direction, in a big pair of wellies, you can!
The villages that are scattered around the countryside aren't just subsidiaries of the nearest major town. They're tiny microcosms, the way villages and small towns are meant to be. They feel nice. Sure, sometimes the folk that live there look at you strangely when you decide to drop in for a pint in their local but in general they're warm and friendly. They are mainly older and much more settled than I'm used to from living in cities though, which, by itself, is no big deal. Having no friends around hits harder when you're in this sort of environment sometimes.
Emotionally, I'm in a very good place. I've never been more happy being single, and for the first time in a long time I'm not fixated on 'some girl'! Sure, that's not always a bad thing; I tend to pick the good ones to lust after and it fuels your everyday life in an exceedingly comfy way. Having someone you think about a lot stops you thinking about all the things that are wrong or troubling in your life because there's always the prospect, however remote, of being romantically happy. This is something I hope for in the future but, for now, I'm really glad there's no-one in that category around me. I see other people's relationships and see the good and the bad. I see relationships start up, continue, break down and end nastily all the time. Normally I don't think about me within those issues though. I don't know why but I never see further than happening to meet a girl that I like who likes me, getting together and.... well, then everything is kinda hazy on that! I'm not in a mood where I would literally drop everything to be with someone. I don't know if I'm capable of loving someone in that way at the moment. That's the mood I want to be in when I meet a special someone. I want to see them, be with them and know that, if they asked, I'd go anywhere with them, and further, that they'd never ask because they know how much doing what I do means to me.
Doing what I do at the moment is pretty outstandingly, mesmerisingly perfect at the moment. I know I complain that the job title isn't matching what I do and I even know that, if they employed someone specifically to do the job I'm doing they'd be on a significant amount of money more than I am, but it's honestly the best stepping stone I've ever had the good fortune to hop onto!
I'm gonna be a designer!!
It's not just hope and hard work any more. It's not being on the career ladder I wanted to be on and working my way up, rung by rung, before having to land on a snake to get on the ladder that gets me to the fabled "designer" position. One of the head guys in the company has said, in no uncertain terms, that the designer position is basically inevitable now that I've proved myself, but not to expect it immediately. Not a problem, I'm happy working as I am anyway, but I will be making sure they know where I want to be in 6 months to a year from now. When we release our next title, I expect to have a credit on it for design, not QA.
I know, it's still ephemeral at the moment. Speculation on how things are going to go in the future is not normally in my nature. I expected to have to work my buns off to get the recognition I needed to make the jump to the next level and, sure enough, that's what's happened. I just didn't quite expect it to happen like this. =) Let's see what happens, eh?
Office politics is rife where I work too. I just make sure I don't take sides. I like pretty much everyone in the office. The others I just don't really know. Even the people who directly oppose some of my design decisions, seemingly just because they can rather than offering good reasons, are good people who just have that particular quirk about them! They laugh with me, not at me. They enjoy their jobs, enjoy the company they keep and support you when you need it. Sure, we know that management just want to get the most out of us that they can, even at out expense, but that's ok: it's their job! We all just make sure we do our best so that they don't need to push us. Everything is expanding and ramping up to something big, I can just feel it. And I'm in at the front of the queue.
Now, all I need to do is get my transportation sorted so that I can be with my friends too and I'll be a cat rolling around on the grass after some catnip! Big love to you all!
del
The place where I live is beautiful. Especially on days like today. The sun has been beaming down since the early morning and it splits through the curtains so that I wake up feeling cheery even if I've got lots of annoying stuff to do that day. My bathroom is particularly good for adding a sunny disposition to my day, as the sunlight really allows you to bask in the glow. I know it'll sound weird but the Sun is different down here. Up in Liverpool, whether it was the pollution in the air or just the angles that all my houses and flats were set at, the sun just didn't look or feel as mellow and orangey as it does down here. It also seems to come out a lot more often, though that could be due to the fact that I'm actually up and around for just about every hour it is, instead of sleeping through 'til midday!
The countryside is very agricultural, as I think I've mentioned. This doesn't make it any less impressive. It's covered with massive fields that glow with greens and yellows even at this stage of the year. In the distance, and boy can you see way into the distance with land as flat and undulating as Oxfordshire, there's always a little village with a church spire breaking up the fields, trees and hedges. Little brooks and canals are almost as common as roads, while footpaths, though I use the term very loosely, and bridleways give interesting detours when you feel like exploring. Just today, when I decided to come home from Banbury using a slightly different route, I saw a signpost for a Footpath pointing directly out into the middle of a field. No indication of where it went or where in the field the footpath was meant to go but, should you want to walk out in that direction, in a big pair of wellies, you can!
The villages that are scattered around the countryside aren't just subsidiaries of the nearest major town. They're tiny microcosms, the way villages and small towns are meant to be. They feel nice. Sure, sometimes the folk that live there look at you strangely when you decide to drop in for a pint in their local but in general they're warm and friendly. They are mainly older and much more settled than I'm used to from living in cities though, which, by itself, is no big deal. Having no friends around hits harder when you're in this sort of environment sometimes.
Emotionally, I'm in a very good place. I've never been more happy being single, and for the first time in a long time I'm not fixated on 'some girl'! Sure, that's not always a bad thing; I tend to pick the good ones to lust after and it fuels your everyday life in an exceedingly comfy way. Having someone you think about a lot stops you thinking about all the things that are wrong or troubling in your life because there's always the prospect, however remote, of being romantically happy. This is something I hope for in the future but, for now, I'm really glad there's no-one in that category around me. I see other people's relationships and see the good and the bad. I see relationships start up, continue, break down and end nastily all the time. Normally I don't think about me within those issues though. I don't know why but I never see further than happening to meet a girl that I like who likes me, getting together and.... well, then everything is kinda hazy on that! I'm not in a mood where I would literally drop everything to be with someone. I don't know if I'm capable of loving someone in that way at the moment. That's the mood I want to be in when I meet a special someone. I want to see them, be with them and know that, if they asked, I'd go anywhere with them, and further, that they'd never ask because they know how much doing what I do means to me.
Doing what I do at the moment is pretty outstandingly, mesmerisingly perfect at the moment. I know I complain that the job title isn't matching what I do and I even know that, if they employed someone specifically to do the job I'm doing they'd be on a significant amount of money more than I am, but it's honestly the best stepping stone I've ever had the good fortune to hop onto!
I'm gonna be a designer!!
It's not just hope and hard work any more. It's not being on the career ladder I wanted to be on and working my way up, rung by rung, before having to land on a snake to get on the ladder that gets me to the fabled "designer" position. One of the head guys in the company has said, in no uncertain terms, that the designer position is basically inevitable now that I've proved myself, but not to expect it immediately. Not a problem, I'm happy working as I am anyway, but I will be making sure they know where I want to be in 6 months to a year from now. When we release our next title, I expect to have a credit on it for design, not QA.
I know, it's still ephemeral at the moment. Speculation on how things are going to go in the future is not normally in my nature. I expected to have to work my buns off to get the recognition I needed to make the jump to the next level and, sure enough, that's what's happened. I just didn't quite expect it to happen like this. =) Let's see what happens, eh?
Office politics is rife where I work too. I just make sure I don't take sides. I like pretty much everyone in the office. The others I just don't really know. Even the people who directly oppose some of my design decisions, seemingly just because they can rather than offering good reasons, are good people who just have that particular quirk about them! They laugh with me, not at me. They enjoy their jobs, enjoy the company they keep and support you when you need it. Sure, we know that management just want to get the most out of us that they can, even at out expense, but that's ok: it's their job! We all just make sure we do our best so that they don't need to push us. Everything is expanding and ramping up to something big, I can just feel it. And I'm in at the front of the queue.
Now, all I need to do is get my transportation sorted so that I can be with my friends too and I'll be a cat rolling around on the grass after some catnip! Big love to you all!
del