(no subject)
The past couple months it has felt like things were finally in place. It was all going well. Then something happened this week and we are broke. As in both vehicles out of gas, $10 in the bank and I somehow need to make it to work all of next week with no money broke. I wrote out a budget this week and after June we are going to be fine! But what I wouldn't give to have that $500 buffer in savings right now. I'm paying my camera sells...someone emailed me a second time this morning to see if it was still available, but no response yet. Being on the edge of this cliff like this just sucks. And it messes with my head. If I'd just worked more overtime I wouldn't be such a loser, etc.
We found out what caused Kelton to almost die twice. His fentanyl patches. If he gets too hot, they can release more medicine and cause an overdose. It happened twice in a month since it has gotten warm out, both time leading to major respiratory distress that warranted calling the paramedics. He is, obviously, not taking that anymore. But our renewal paperwork for medicaid got turned in late and the doctor wouldn't phone in a new long acting med until after he is seen on the 6th. And if it isn't reinstated by then, we can't pay out of pocket. The only bit of hope is that we can fill it at an Aetna affiliated pharmacy before then and it is less than $464. In which case our nifty new health reimbursement account affiliated with our Aetna insurance will pay for it. We are keeping medicaid as secondary right now because we can't afford the deductible ($3600, or a month and a half of pay) out of pocket. This time next year, we'll have almost that much saved, plus can get up to $1300 in our HSA. I'm just hoping having "real" insurance will make finding someone to do surgery easier.
Things this week feel impossible. I need a magic fairy to give me money. Not even money. But a fairy to fill both my gas tanks. I feel much more secure when there is gas in both vehicles. Right now I don't even have that. I know this is very temporary, but hell, I'm not even sure I can get my girls to their dance pictures tomorrow. It sucks. A lot. I feel like the worlds worst mom, even though I know that is far from true.
Can it just be July already?
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