{{ why did you turn away? }}
So the fighting has somewhat subsided. I exploded this week. I had finally had enough. It seems like no matter how things go, SOMETHING comes up. Every single time. I know 'that's life' but for once I would love it if it would give me a break. I never meant to break down and out right yell at him, but I was just so frusterated with everything it just happened. There is so much stress going through me right now, the little things destroy my sanity. I'm fragile right now. Until this term is over, I am a wreck. I know that, I just hope he is able to stick by me and help me get through this.
Being me nowadays is something I would call, temporary insanity. No other way to describe it. That's me. One moment everything is fine, the next I'm spiraling into the abyss that is the stress of my life. There are brief moments of hope in my sight some days, but as I said they never last for long. I want this term to be over. So much.
I discovered this week that Aaron is done exams 3 days before I leave for Edmonton. That makes me smile. I think we are going to be together for those 3 days. I want to be, but I'm not about to get my hopes up for this. it's me we're talking about after all. I never get such luck. At least the absolutely for sure plan is that he is taking me to the airport on the Friday I leave, so there is a chance that he is going to stay at my place with me the night before I leave. if that is the case, maybe going away won't be so bad. *crosses fingers*
Tonight I am working, as well as tomorrow, and Sunday. Plus i have a paper to write inbetween there and I have to start studying for an exam as well as start another paper for the following week. ((this is why i am stressing out)) As well next saturday Aaron, his parents, my parents and myself are all going out for dinner to celebrate Aarons 21st birthday, plus that evening there is a party bus too. Now if things don't go as well as I hope for school related issues, there is a chance I wont be able to go to the party bus. Which I honestly feel awful about, but I have the school excuse......but it will eat me from the inside out if I don't go. I just know it. I'm not sure what I am going to do about this but I'm sure I will figure something out for this. *crosses fingers*
I think Im going to scratch my eyes out by the end of next week. -_-; somebody save me.....
Being me nowadays is something I would call, temporary insanity. No other way to describe it. That's me. One moment everything is fine, the next I'm spiraling into the abyss that is the stress of my life. There are brief moments of hope in my sight some days, but as I said they never last for long. I want this term to be over. So much.
I discovered this week that Aaron is done exams 3 days before I leave for Edmonton. That makes me smile. I think we are going to be together for those 3 days. I want to be, but I'm not about to get my hopes up for this. it's me we're talking about after all. I never get such luck. At least the absolutely for sure plan is that he is taking me to the airport on the Friday I leave, so there is a chance that he is going to stay at my place with me the night before I leave. if that is the case, maybe going away won't be so bad. *crosses fingers*
Tonight I am working, as well as tomorrow, and Sunday. Plus i have a paper to write inbetween there and I have to start studying for an exam as well as start another paper for the following week. ((this is why i am stressing out)) As well next saturday Aaron, his parents, my parents and myself are all going out for dinner to celebrate Aarons 21st birthday, plus that evening there is a party bus too. Now if things don't go as well as I hope for school related issues, there is a chance I wont be able to go to the party bus. Which I honestly feel awful about, but I have the school excuse......but it will eat me from the inside out if I don't go. I just know it. I'm not sure what I am going to do about this but I'm sure I will figure something out for this. *crosses fingers*
I think Im going to scratch my eyes out by the end of next week. -_-; somebody save me.....