Better
Hey diary,
I guess I just wanted to write quick here because I've been feeling guilty.
I think my annoyances of my friends were unfair and I regret what I wrote. I think I probably just imagined negativity on his part that probably wasn't actually there. Or if it was, I forgive him for it.
This being said, I still do think our compatibility as friends is probably not as great as I thought since I have a tendency to get annoyed by him.
Man. I didn't realize what a witchy person I really was until I thought about my bitching about him.
Anyway, oh well, it is what it is I suppose. I do wish I could come to terms with and understand this witchy side of me though. Because I don't think I recognize whatever fault I have that caused me to get that way in the first place, and I think it would be good if I became more self aware.
On the upside, I've been feeling better about my relationship.
I came to my boyfriend again with my issues the other day, and he heard me better this time. We agreed I'd point it out next time I confided in him and felt he didn't care.
So the other day I told him about a strange dream I had. His response was literally "hehe.". This was right after I told him about another thing and he sat in silence.
So I told him it had just happened, and he told me he did actually find it kind of interesting. But he didn't know how to get me to realize that... And so he tried by asking me a few questions about my dream. That actually helped and I thanked him and said that what he did worked.
So I guess I was glad that he's trying to make efforts. And also the annoyance with my friend: he received that pretty well too. So I guess I feel better about him somewhat.
I hope I continue to feel better. It was really hard and embarrassing to admit to him that I felt ignored, but I'm glad I did it. I guess I'll just see how things go.
I guess I just wanted to write quick here because I've been feeling guilty.
I think my annoyances of my friends were unfair and I regret what I wrote. I think I probably just imagined negativity on his part that probably wasn't actually there. Or if it was, I forgive him for it.
This being said, I still do think our compatibility as friends is probably not as great as I thought since I have a tendency to get annoyed by him.
Man. I didn't realize what a witchy person I really was until I thought about my bitching about him.
Anyway, oh well, it is what it is I suppose. I do wish I could come to terms with and understand this witchy side of me though. Because I don't think I recognize whatever fault I have that caused me to get that way in the first place, and I think it would be good if I became more self aware.
On the upside, I've been feeling better about my relationship.
I came to my boyfriend again with my issues the other day, and he heard me better this time. We agreed I'd point it out next time I confided in him and felt he didn't care.
So the other day I told him about a strange dream I had. His response was literally "hehe.". This was right after I told him about another thing and he sat in silence.
So I told him it had just happened, and he told me he did actually find it kind of interesting. But he didn't know how to get me to realize that... And so he tried by asking me a few questions about my dream. That actually helped and I thanked him and said that what he did worked.
So I guess I was glad that he's trying to make efforts. And also the annoyance with my friend: he received that pretty well too. So I guess I feel better about him somewhat.
I hope I continue to feel better. It was really hard and embarrassing to admit to him that I felt ignored, but I'm glad I did it. I guess I'll just see how things go.