(FIC) Something To Talk About (2/2)
It was early morning when I woke up, and saw Ripcord stretching and yawning in the passenger’s seat, but a peek in the rearview mirror showed a distinct lack of either Roadblock or Tunnel Rat.
“Weird.” I said, but the door between the cab and the back of the Coyote was closed, and I thought it had been left open last night. Another private chat? Didn’t seem likely, and anyway, I’m more of an early riser than Tunnel Rat is, but they’ve got to be back there, right?
I open the door, and any thoughts I might have had exit my brain like the room’s on fire.
Tunnel Rat snorts and jerks awake, blinking away sleep, but he doesn’t move Roadblock’s arm off him, and Roadblock…
“Are you… cuddling?” It sounds impossible even as I’m saying it, but I really can’t see what else you could call it.
Now they do move, and pretty fast for having just woken up.
“There’s a really good explanation for this. Roadblock?”
“First of all,” Roadblock sighs. “We’re back here, because it’s impossible to sleep up there. Both of you snore.”
“I don’t snore.” Ripcord argues, and to be fair, if he does, I didn’t notice it.
“No, you snore.” Roadblock says. “Tunnel Rat doesn’t snore, but if you don’t hold him down, he tosses. And turns. And winds up kicking you in the face.”
“Hey, I’m pretty sure I never kicked you in the face.”
“No, I pinned you down before you had the chance.” Roadblock snorts at him, but there’s a weird undercurrent of…
They didn’t lock themselves back here last night just to talk about raw sewage, did they?”
“… Right.” I shake my head. It’s possible Roadblock’s just a fairly smooth liar, but if I think about it, really think about it, I don’t know. It’s not like it’s out of the question that he’s telling the truth, but it’s also just way more likely that…
That what? The two of them are a couple?
No.
I mean, there’s no way…
Well, they didn’t-
I mean, we couldn’t have just slept through two people having sex in the back, could we have?
But they’ve always been close. I mean, look at Chicago. Roadblock freaked out over seeing Tunnel Rat in the hospital. We were all upset, but we weren’t any of us as upset as he was. Or look at… a lot of stuff, really.
Well, I don’t know if I buy it, but Ripcord seems to.
“Remind me never to sleep with Tunnel Rat, then.” Is all he has to say about it.
“Never gonna be an issue, my friend.” Tunnel Rat snorts, and there’s this quick glance over to Roadblock, and okay, yeah, I might have initially misinterpreted the source of all that tension a few nights back talking about DADT, because this… this is a thing. “Just because you’re not as loud as Duke and Scarlett doesn’t mean you don’t snore.”
“Whatever. I don’t snore. I call-“
“Shotgun!”
I just take the seat closest to me and let them fight over it. This is a thing. I don’t know how big a deal it’s going to have to be, either. I mean, I guess as long as we’re on the run and all, I’m not in the position of having to… having to what? Having to do anything about this? I don’t know about that, either. Tunnel Rat being gay or Roadblock being gay wouldn’t affect unit cohesion, but the two of them being a couple is different. That’s the kind of thing that could affect priorities, and that could be dangerous.
I don’t know… I just don’t know. I mean, for now maybe… maybe if I don’t say anything, nothing is going to need saying. As long as they both keep their heads in the game in combat situations, does it have to matter? Could I just pretend to believe whatever cover stories they come up with when we come close to catching them being couple-y and… and it can all just work out? Because I’m not comfortable bringing this stuff up, I’m not comfortable with the idea that anyone’s private life should have rules dictated down, but if this becomes a distraction then it’s down to me to say something, isn’t it?
No. No, these guys are solid, professional. And besides… besides, this isn’t new, right? It’s not. That means they haven’t let whatever’s going on between them become a distraction, at least not when it counts. That means it’s fine.
Everything’s fine.
---/-/---
Okay, I gotta say, Roadblock’s grandma is a pretty awesome lady, and I guess neighbors have been bringing food over to the house for, like, a solid week, ‘cause there’s no shortage of anything. We’re all relaxed, like for reals relaxed, for the first time in a long time.
I mean, even being shoved into the spare bedroom upstairs so the next group of visiting neighbors doesn’t catch sight of the group of wanted fugitives doesn’t really put a damper on the mood. Things are pretty chill.
Okay, it’s a little weird that Tunnel Rat full-on hugged Roadblock-dude never seemed like the hugging type-but still, that fits into a relaxed mood, doesn’t it?
“Thank you for not being dead.” He says, all, like, heartfelt, and okay, maybe not so much with the relaxed mood.
I’m not sure why it feels awkward… I mean, I’ve hugged people before. I’ve been glad people weren’t dead-I was glad Roadblock’s not dead. But watching this seemed weird somehow.
“You’re very welcome. I’m glad not to be dead.” Roadblock at least also seems kind of uncomfortable-not with the hugging, he seems down with the hugging, just with the… you know, situation.
“I was worried-You have no idea how much I worried.”
“Ulcers, I remember. I’m okay.”
Scarlett’s the one who ‘ahem’s at them, but we were all kind of thinking it, know what I mean? I mean, somebody had to bust up the love-fest before it got really, really awkward. Seriously, maybe I’m not the best reader of people in the world, but I could’ve sworn Tunnel Rat was not the touchy-feely type at all.
“You might as well tell them,” He shrugs up at Roadblock. “Since they kind of already know.”
Already know? What is it we already know-I mean, what kind of thing do we need to be told even though we already know it?
“Oh, me tell them?” It sounded teasing, but I am still not on the same page here, ‘cause I don’t know what he’d be teasing Tunnel Rat about.
“Tell us what?” I say, since it seems like they could go back and forth like this a while without actually cluing anybody in.
“Nothing.” Tunnel Rat goes right back to being king of the hissy fit, which is pretty much how he’s been since we got to Biloxi, and I mean even more than usual. “Everything. I don’t-“
“Hush,” And that’s when Roadblock kisses him. I mean lips-on-lips, at least two seconds, eyes closed full-on kissing. “You’ll give yourself another ulcer.
And Tunnel Rat is not surprised by this-I am surprised by this, but Tunnel Rat just, like, hums all contented-like and cuddles up to him and this is normal, this is normal for them, the kissing is normal, this is what they were going to tell us, that they kiss and that’s normal?
“You guys are gay?” I manage to get the words out, and at least it comes out better than my first train of thought, but it still… I mean, I guess I didn’t mean it so blunt or anything, it just came out.
“Yeah. How about the rest of you wait in the hall? I’m busy now.” At least Tunnel Rat doesn’t get offended or anything…
“Come on, guys.” Scarlett touches my elbow and jerks her head towards the door.
“You guys are gay?” That time I totally meant to say something else. Anything else. Something… I don’t know, helpful, or something.
“Give the lovebirds their privacy for a minute and if you want, I’ll tell you two when I figured it out.” She grabs me and Duke both and drags us into the hallway.
“Those guys are gay.” I say. It seems to be where my brain is stuck.
“Is that a problem?”
“No. Why aren’t you surprised?” I catch sight of Duke, also looking… like, maybe resigned, or concerned, but also not at all surprised. “Wait, why aren’t you surprised?”
“I kind of figured it out when we caught them cuddling.”
Oh yeah. I didn’t even think about that… I guess I got distracted and just… forgot, I don’t know. I mean, hindsight being twenty-twenty and all, yeah, that should have tipped me off.
Oh man.
Oh man, I feel like a total dick over that ‘gator joke now. But I didn’t know the dude was his boyfriend when I said it!
“You saw them cuddling?” Scarlett looks a little surprised by that, anyway, and kind of amused.
“Yeah, on our way to meet back up with you and Snake Eyes. I mean, they made up a story about it, but… it was kind of… cuddly.” Duke shrugs. “When did you know?”
“Tunnel Rat’s DADT freakout. I can’t believe you thought he was homophobic.”
“Wait-wait-wait, so he really was freaking out about DADT-“
“Yeah, just not as a homophobe.” She shrugs.
“And you let me think it was my fault?” I cross my arms.
“I didn’t say it was your fault, I just said he could have been freaking out over the Bio-Viper thing. I was very careful to not make it your ‘fault’. I wasn’t going to push him out of the closet.”
“Yeah, well, you could have come up with something else.”
Roadblock’s cousin comes upstairs. “Coast’s clear, pie’s downstairs. Marvin still inside?”
“Yeah.” Duke says. “You might want to knock first.”
I’m already halfway downstairs because I started moving at ‘pie’, but considering everything, I hope he does…