(FIC) Something To Talk About (1/2)
I found out about them by accident, on the ship, when I came out of meditation to hear them whispering. I didn’t catch every word-I wasn’t trying to-but I caught enough.
After that, I keep an ear on them, whenever they are apart from the group, and try to make enough noise before anyone rejoins them, so that they have time. To make themselves presentable or… or whatever, I guess.
I know Shana wouldn’t care. I’m pretty sure I know Duke well enough by now to say he wouldn’t care-or at least, that he wouldn’t think any differently of them. Honestly, I think by now the team has reached the point where, for the most part, everybody feels they know everybody else well enough. They even trust me, and I understand that was hard.
Still. I help those two keep their secret, not because their friends would hold it against them, but because they deserve to come out on their own timetable.
---/-/---
After Tunnel Rat’s eyes glaze over, I figure he’s done with the front page. I take it back, tossing the Life section in his direction. I only half-listen through Duke and Ripcord’s tales of high school romantic woe, and even when I get involved in the discussion that follows, I don’t get involved.
Tunnel Rat’s never had a serious girlfriend, and I guess I can’t say I’m surprised, if he really has been in and out of sewers since before he started looking at girls. Women tend to have a better sense of smell than men. And standards of hygiene that teenage boys don’t share at the best of times. Trying to get a date in high school was probably murder for the guy.
I push that out of my mind, though, when I get to the story about the DADT repeal.
“About time!” I wave the paper.
“About time for Tunnel Rat to have a girlfriend?” Ripcord jokes-apparently still under the impression that he’s funny.
“Congress is looking to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. We had way too many people in intelligence lose their jobs over it, people we couldn’t spare. A lot of translators.” And a few really good friends.
“Oh, yeah, I remember that,” Duke says. “A few years back? It seemed like a weirdly high number of translators.”
“Well hopefully that doesn’t have to happen anymore.” I say, maybe a little more forcefully than I meant to.
“I never really thought about it.” He admits. “Aside from the fact that it seemed like only translators were getting discharged over it…”
“You never really thought about it?” Tunnel Rat challenged, and for the first time it occurred to me that the glazed look in his eyes before hadn’t been boredom at all.
“It didn’t really apply to me. I didn’t think about it.” Duke says, unconcerned. Not seeing what I am, at least not yet. “Why, what do you think about it?”
“I don’t know.” Tunnel Rat clams up at that, but he looks… he looks upset, which I guess is not a big change from the last few days, although it seemed like for a little while he’d finally started to loosen up.
“I don’t know, either. I mean, there’s the unit cohesion argument,” Ripcord shrugs uneasily, and I can practically see Tunnel Rat biting down on his tongue before Ripcord keeps talking. “But, I mean, if we can serve with women just fine, that shouldn’t be a problem, right?”
“Right.” Tunnel Rat lets out a breath and turns to me. “Scarlett, you’re cool with Duke and Ripcord, right?”
“I’m cool with all of you.” I answer. Funny he didn’t mention Roadblock either.
“Exactly. All of us. All of us manly men, with the spitting and swearing, the manliness. You feel perfectly safe, amid all these veritable testosterone factories.”
“… Yeah…” Testosterone factories. Sure.
“So, if you don’t feel threatened by being on a team with a bunch of dudes, then a bunch of dudes shouldn’t feel threatened by being on a team with… with other dudes, who are… less… heterosexual…”
Oh, Tunnel Rat… you should have quit when you were ahead. Which would be before that ‘testosterone factories’ thing…
Okay, maybe he was never ahead.
“Unless that bunch of dudes just isn’t as brave as our girl Scarlett.” Roadblock grins. There’s something off about it, though, something almost sad. “Actually, I think this might make Scarlett braver than seventy percent of all Marines.”
I laugh-and I don’t know about the percentages, but maybe I could out-brave a Marine or two, given the opportunity. Not sure what metric you’d use to figure that out, though. But I also watch the two of them now. Tunnel Rat is sitting a lot closer to Roadblock than he is to Ripcord. And Roadblock is sitting a lot closer to Tunnel Rat than he is to me. And if I try to think back, it seems like they’ve been closer to each other than to anybody else most of the time.
“I just… I don’t think it’s ever even been an issue. For me, I mean.” Duke says, completely oblivious to the fact that Tunnel Rat is making this face like he wants to jump in and correct him no matter how stupid it would be. “I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever served with anyone who was… you know. Well, not that I’d know, I guess.”
Okay, I officially feel a little bad for Tunnel Rat right now, because the dramatic irony must be killing him. Not to mention the whole stress of the issue coming up, getting media attention, the worry that it might be dangled in front of him and then snatched away… and I’m not as sure about Roadblock as I am about him, but I’d say I’m maybe seventy percent sure, seventy percent sure they’re an item, and I don’t know for how long.
“Well, I hope the repeal goes through.” Roadblock says. I glance over to him, the forced air of casual disinterest that doesn’t quite cover his investment, and yeah, okay, if they’re not dating they’re at the very least both affected, and at the very least I’d say they know about each other, but now I’m more ninety percent sure they’re together, because there are a few things that just make more sense if that’s true.
“So what if it became an issue?” Tunnel Rat is belligerent. Not that I blame him. “I mean, would you be okay with it? If it was somebody on your team?”
“Yeah, sure. I probably would be.”
“Yeah, probably, right?” Ripcord laughs. “I mean… as long as it wasn’t awkward. I just don’t want to have to break any hearts.”
“Yeah, ‘cause that would be the number one issue. I can’t believe you guys.” Tunnel Rat storms off.
“Tunnel Rat!” Duke’s got his command voice on…
“Let him go, Duke.” Roadblock just shakes his head, and his look is knowing and for a second, overwhelmingly sad, and overwhelmingly fond, and now there’s no doubt in my mind.
And I kind of want to just hug them both.
Roadblock lets out a sigh and picks up his canteen.
“Do you think Tunnel Rat has a problem with gay people?” Duke asks, concerned, and Roadblock coughs hard.
I scoot over to thump him on the back. “All right?”
“Yeah. Thanks. Nah, Duke, I don’t think Tunnel Rat has a problem.”
“So nobody else noticed that he seemed hung up on the unit cohesion idea? Not that this is going to be a problem for the time being, but I’d be more comfortable-“
“Duke.” I cut him off. “I don’t think Tunnel Rat is homophobic. He’s been wound up for days, I think he was just looking for something he could start an argument over. Right, Roadblock?”
He looks surprised, and a little grateful. “Yeah, sounds about right to me. You know how he gets, Duke. And he has been edgy.”
“About the Bio-Viper thing?” Ripcord winces.
“Probably.” I sigh. “It takes some getting used to, doesn’t it? I wouldn’t take it personally-if he had a problem with you personally, he’s hardly the type to be shy about it.”
“Right.” Duke nods slowly.
“And it’s not like he’s been sleeping well.” Roadblock says. “I mean-he tries to hide it, but you can kind of tell.”
“I think it’s just easier for him to get into an argument about something unrelated in the news.” I offer. “Instead of bringing up the Bio-Viper thing.”
“Yeah. Yeah, makes sense.”
“Heck, it freaks me out, too.” Ripcord folds his arms around himself. “I don’t take it personal.”
“I’ll go get him. He’s had enough time to cool off by now.” Roadblock gets to his feet.
I watch him head down the hill to the creek where Tunnel Rat’s pacing. I can see him put a hand on Tunnel Rat’s arm, can hear indistinct sounds on the wind. Whatever he says, Tunnel Rat laughs-it’s audible at a distance, and you can see him double over with it. The laughter dies, and they talk a little more, no words we can catch, but there’s a steady undercurrent of emotion in the faint voices.
They come back up the hill, Roadblock keeping a hand on Tunnel Rat’s back, and I wonder how long, how I didn’t see. How long before the others figure it out… we’re all living in each other’s pockets here, it’s only a matter of time.
I glance over at Snake Eyes, and he just nods. Not a surprise-he’s just seen and heard everything I have, and that’s assuming he didn’t know before.