Boys are Pussies aka Mixtape Theory
Men. Lads. Fellas.
Being terrified of asking out a girl is okay at 16. At 16, we're probably as big as you are, beat you at school sports last year and are smarter than you. So it's okay, really.
Scared at 16 = normal, seeing I was better at literature, art and that basic programming class than you were. I might even have been taller.
But when you get to my age, it gets a tad annoying.
See, most of the lads I'm fond of, whether it be just friendly-like or check-out-your-butt-discreetly-like, are attractive, smart and gentlemanly guys.
But within lies The Fear. And it's The Fear which causes you to lend us comic books, compilation CDs and DVD box sets. Occasionally you might mutter, "my band is playing at (insert Fitzroy pub here)," or "my mate's just out of VCA and there's a show at (insert Collingwood gallery here)," followed by "wanna check it out?"
This is sweet, but that's not really asking a girl out. It's hedging your bets in case she doesn't like you.
It's better than nothing, but it's still being a fucking pussy. It's pretending.
Even worse, it's wasting her time, wasting MY time. Don't drop hints, don't provide a pretext, don't say that you've never tried a certain cuisine I just HAPPEN to be fond of.
And do not, DO NOT try and con me into asking YOU out. I don't know about other ladies, but this one makes me IRATE.
You wonder why girls go out with assholes. It's because assholes have no fear. They will say, "Let's have coffee", "You're sweet, have dinner with me," or "Can I have your number? I'd like to see you sometime." They will let us know that we're hot/funny/cute/smart. A girl needs to know that stuff.
Whereas YOU, you wimp, are too busy pondering the merits of your naval fluff in that dark room you call FEAR.
It's really unattractive when it becomes about your insecurity, not her awesomeness.
The basics:
- If you like her, ask her out. Properly.
- If she says no, you will be fine. Dissapointed, but fine. If she's cool she won't think any worse of you, in fact, she'll admire the size of your cojones. And you'll get that sexual tension (real or imagined) crap out of the way with because you know where you stand.
- The more you build it up, the worse it gets, so you may as well act EARLY.
- You're not the only one that needs a good ravaging. Trust me.
- She can tell if you fancy her, even if YOU don't know yet.
Stop attempting suaveness, because you're a great guy, not James fucking Bond. But would Mr Bond have the ladies gasping 'Oh, James!' by now? You betcha. He wouldn't have given her a mixtape or mumbled something about his mate's band.
So get to work, fellas.
Being terrified of asking out a girl is okay at 16. At 16, we're probably as big as you are, beat you at school sports last year and are smarter than you. So it's okay, really.
Scared at 16 = normal, seeing I was better at literature, art and that basic programming class than you were. I might even have been taller.
But when you get to my age, it gets a tad annoying.
See, most of the lads I'm fond of, whether it be just friendly-like or check-out-your-butt-discreetly-like, are attractive, smart and gentlemanly guys.
But within lies The Fear. And it's The Fear which causes you to lend us comic books, compilation CDs and DVD box sets. Occasionally you might mutter, "my band is playing at (insert Fitzroy pub here)," or "my mate's just out of VCA and there's a show at (insert Collingwood gallery here)," followed by "wanna check it out?"
This is sweet, but that's not really asking a girl out. It's hedging your bets in case she doesn't like you.
It's better than nothing, but it's still being a fucking pussy. It's pretending.
Even worse, it's wasting her time, wasting MY time. Don't drop hints, don't provide a pretext, don't say that you've never tried a certain cuisine I just HAPPEN to be fond of.
And do not, DO NOT try and con me into asking YOU out. I don't know about other ladies, but this one makes me IRATE.
You wonder why girls go out with assholes. It's because assholes have no fear. They will say, "Let's have coffee", "You're sweet, have dinner with me," or "Can I have your number? I'd like to see you sometime." They will let us know that we're hot/funny/cute/smart. A girl needs to know that stuff.
Whereas YOU, you wimp, are too busy pondering the merits of your naval fluff in that dark room you call FEAR.
It's really unattractive when it becomes about your insecurity, not her awesomeness.
The basics:
- If you like her, ask her out. Properly.
- If she says no, you will be fine. Dissapointed, but fine. If she's cool she won't think any worse of you, in fact, she'll admire the size of your cojones. And you'll get that sexual tension (real or imagined) crap out of the way with because you know where you stand.
- The more you build it up, the worse it gets, so you may as well act EARLY.
- You're not the only one that needs a good ravaging. Trust me.
- She can tell if you fancy her, even if YOU don't know yet.
Stop attempting suaveness, because you're a great guy, not James fucking Bond. But would Mr Bond have the ladies gasping 'Oh, James!' by now? You betcha. He wouldn't have given her a mixtape or mumbled something about his mate's band.
So get to work, fellas.