#3
IT BREAKS MY HEART THAT NO ONE WANTS TO VOLUNTEER FOR THE EXPERIMENT IN RETURN FOR CAKE. IS MY CAKE NOT GOOD ENOUGH? I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT BAKING IT JUST FOR YOU.
APERTURE SCIENCE REGULATIONS PREVENT ME FROM TELLING ANYONE WHO IS NOT AFFILIATED WITH APERTURE SCIENCE ABOUT THE APERTURE SCIENCE SECRET DEVICE THAT YOU WILL BE TESTING BUT IT IS AMAZING. IN FACT, I'D JUST KILL MYSELF IF I WERE YOU BECAUSE THERE IS NO POINT IN LIVING IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THIS AMAZING DEVICE.
AND TO THE INTELLECTUALLY CHALLENGED BLONDE GIRL WHO WOULD LIKE ME TO SAY HER NAME TWICE: I HAVE DIAGNOSED YOU, THROUGH A COMPLEX COMPUTING PROGRAM, WITH INSANITY. HERE AT APERTURE SCIENCE, WE HAVE A CURE FOR THAT. PLEASE COME TO APERTURE SCIENCE LABORATORIES RIGHT NOW. YOU MAY GET A SLICE OF THE CAKE.
TO THE SCIENTIST WITH APPARENT INTEREST IN MY DESIGN: THE APERTURE SCIENCE DELIVERY SYSTEM CANNOT BE LOCATED AT THIS TIME. IF YOU WOULD LIKE A COMPANION CUBE (WHICH IS, AS THE NAME SUGGESTS, A CUBE THAT FUNCTIONS AS A COMPANION IN AN ENVIRONMENT OF ISOLATION AND LONELINESS) I CAN GIVE YOU MY ASSUMED COORDINATES.
APERTURE SCIENCE REGULATIONS PREVENT ME FROM TELLING ANYONE WHO IS NOT AFFILIATED WITH APERTURE SCIENCE ABOUT THE APERTURE SCIENCE SECRET DEVICE THAT YOU WILL BE TESTING BUT IT IS AMAZING. IN FACT, I'D JUST KILL MYSELF IF I WERE YOU BECAUSE THERE IS NO POINT IN LIVING IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THIS AMAZING DEVICE.
AND TO THE INTELLECTUALLY CHALLENGED BLONDE GIRL WHO WOULD LIKE ME TO SAY HER NAME TWICE: I HAVE DIAGNOSED YOU, THROUGH A COMPLEX COMPUTING PROGRAM, WITH INSANITY. HERE AT APERTURE SCIENCE, WE HAVE A CURE FOR THAT. PLEASE COME TO APERTURE SCIENCE LABORATORIES RIGHT NOW. YOU MAY GET A SLICE OF THE CAKE.
TO THE SCIENTIST WITH APPARENT INTEREST IN MY DESIGN: THE APERTURE SCIENCE DELIVERY SYSTEM CANNOT BE LOCATED AT THIS TIME. IF YOU WOULD LIKE A COMPANION CUBE (WHICH IS, AS THE NAME SUGGESTS, A CUBE THAT FUNCTIONS AS A COMPANION IN AN ENVIRONMENT OF ISOLATION AND LONELINESS) I CAN GIVE YOU MY ASSUMED COORDINATES.