Grandma update
On Monday, mom and I got to Topeka. Amazingly, it was sunny in Seattle! Mt. Rainier looked epic, and the mist among the valleys looked so cool! My window was too iced up to take pictures though. Cindy picked us up..we were tired after flying all night and morning, but we went to grandma's right away (if we had sat down at Julie's, we wouldn't have wanted to get back up again!). It felt like a furnace when I got out of the car..I had forgotten what 100 degrees feels like!! D: Grandma was sitting up in bed watching the news (she likes Fox News..ugh), and was happy to see us! Her voice is very raspy, but she can talk, and she was eating and joking around with everyone. The previous day, she could barely speak and couldn't get her hand all the way to her mouth to eat, probably why Julie or Cindy called us. We were worried we wouldn't be able to see her in time, and there she was joking around with us! I imagined everyone sitting around her bed watching her last breaths, but nope! How does she DO that?! Seeing relatives helps I'm sure! Eventually we went back to Julie's and went to bed (since Aunt Gina is a night nurse anyway, she stays overnight with grandma)
We've spent a lot of time with grandma these past few days..she even got out of bed and sat in her chair! (Since she can't stand on her own, there's a lift thing with a net that "carries" her where she wants to go.) It's weird though..she can be totally lucid, take a nap and then just..barely be responsive and just stare into space. She won't tell you if she's hungry or thirsty or anything, you have to ask her, and even then may not respond for a minute. I worry we're annoying her, because we're constantly fussing over her (she needs help with everything, like cutting up her food). I keep wondering if she's having mini-strokes. Today when we got there she was happy, ate some food, took a nap, then did her "vacant stare" when she woke up. It's frustrating and really hard to see..we're spending all this time with her and she barely notices. :( I get "cabin fevery" sitting there for hours (I bring my laptop and food and stuff, but it's not quite the same as doing those things at home. Today we were watching hours of memorable performances from America's Got Talent, which was fun, but the TV is SO loud because grandma is somewhat hard of hearing and I was just..going stir crazy. I know we came for grandma, but I'd like to other things too, even just to get a bite to eat or something. I mentioned Olive Garden and mom was like "no, we came for grandma!" and I groaned and put my head in my hands, starting to panic. Cindy could tell I was getting overstimulated and asked if I wanted to leave, which I said yes to, so mom went to the bathroom before we left, and in that time just started crying..ugh, so embarrassing! Mom hugged me and I apologized (I KNOW it's part of autism to involuntarily melt down when overstimulated, but I still feel guilty). She said it was ok and to just tell her "limit" next time, and she'll understand when I need to leave. The silence of Julie's house was very nice after that! Mom said we can go to Olive Garden tomorrow, and anyone else who wants to join us (I wish we could all go, but someone has to stay with grandma). It was pretty hot today too, in the 90s (ugh), but it's supposed to "cool" down into the 80s this weekend. Uncle Dean arrived with Blanca tonight too, after that SUPER exciting drive from Santa Fe LOL (the forgotten corner of Oklahoma is especially exciting O_o). He brought games, so that should help with being less bored too lol
If grandma stays the way she is, mom and Ryan and I will fly back to Fairbanks on Sunday..she has an appointment on Tuesday I think, and I should go back to work (next time I say my grandma is going to die, no one will believe me! It'll be like the boy who cried wolf D:). I'm not sure how long everyone else is staying, but mom had already planned to come to Kansas in September, so she won't be gone too long. I just hope grandma doesn't get bad again after we leave. I hope we can catch grandma in lucid moments again, but we never know what she'll be like, even from hour to hour. I'm glad she's not alone though. Guess we'll see what she's like tomorrow lol
Me and grandma!
"LET ME CLOSE THE CURTAINS!!! Ooooh, soft..." LOL
Of course I had to hug them LOL
26. Do You Write in Cursive? Only when signing my name, which is more like a squiggly line than anything legible LOL
27. What Are Your Earliest Memories of Music? Dancing to music in the living room when little
28. What Would You Grab in a Fire? Abby, my backpack, pictures, etc
29. Do You Have Any Tattoos? If Not, Would You Ever Consider Getting a Tattoo? Yes, I have four
We've spent a lot of time with grandma these past few days..she even got out of bed and sat in her chair! (Since she can't stand on her own, there's a lift thing with a net that "carries" her where she wants to go.) It's weird though..she can be totally lucid, take a nap and then just..barely be responsive and just stare into space. She won't tell you if she's hungry or thirsty or anything, you have to ask her, and even then may not respond for a minute. I worry we're annoying her, because we're constantly fussing over her (she needs help with everything, like cutting up her food). I keep wondering if she's having mini-strokes. Today when we got there she was happy, ate some food, took a nap, then did her "vacant stare" when she woke up. It's frustrating and really hard to see..we're spending all this time with her and she barely notices. :( I get "cabin fevery" sitting there for hours (I bring my laptop and food and stuff, but it's not quite the same as doing those things at home. Today we were watching hours of memorable performances from America's Got Talent, which was fun, but the TV is SO loud because grandma is somewhat hard of hearing and I was just..going stir crazy. I know we came for grandma, but I'd like to other things too, even just to get a bite to eat or something. I mentioned Olive Garden and mom was like "no, we came for grandma!" and I groaned and put my head in my hands, starting to panic. Cindy could tell I was getting overstimulated and asked if I wanted to leave, which I said yes to, so mom went to the bathroom before we left, and in that time just started crying..ugh, so embarrassing! Mom hugged me and I apologized (I KNOW it's part of autism to involuntarily melt down when overstimulated, but I still feel guilty). She said it was ok and to just tell her "limit" next time, and she'll understand when I need to leave. The silence of Julie's house was very nice after that! Mom said we can go to Olive Garden tomorrow, and anyone else who wants to join us (I wish we could all go, but someone has to stay with grandma). It was pretty hot today too, in the 90s (ugh), but it's supposed to "cool" down into the 80s this weekend. Uncle Dean arrived with Blanca tonight too, after that SUPER exciting drive from Santa Fe LOL (the forgotten corner of Oklahoma is especially exciting O_o). He brought games, so that should help with being less bored too lol
If grandma stays the way she is, mom and Ryan and I will fly back to Fairbanks on Sunday..she has an appointment on Tuesday I think, and I should go back to work (next time I say my grandma is going to die, no one will believe me! It'll be like the boy who cried wolf D:). I'm not sure how long everyone else is staying, but mom had already planned to come to Kansas in September, so she won't be gone too long. I just hope grandma doesn't get bad again after we leave. I hope we can catch grandma in lucid moments again, but we never know what she'll be like, even from hour to hour. I'm glad she's not alone though. Guess we'll see what she's like tomorrow lol
Me and grandma!
"LET ME CLOSE THE CURTAINS!!! Ooooh, soft..." LOL
Of course I had to hug them LOL
26. Do You Write in Cursive? Only when signing my name, which is more like a squiggly line than anything legible LOL
27. What Are Your Earliest Memories of Music? Dancing to music in the living room when little
28. What Would You Grab in a Fire? Abby, my backpack, pictures, etc
29. Do You Have Any Tattoos? If Not, Would You Ever Consider Getting a Tattoo? Yes, I have four