Remembering Is The Hard Part (15/?)
It was 5:30 in the morning when George had finally fallen back onto his side of the bed for the fourth time that night. Izzie and he were again lying side by side breathing heavily, trying to hold onto the unbelievable, amazing, tingly feeling rushing up and down their bodies, but also secretly wondering how long they should wait this time before having another go. That’s what it had been like for the past few hours, they would have sex, lay next to each other until one of them would “accidentally” brushed up against the other, and then they would do it all over again. They both knew it was wrong and they both knew that sooner or later they would have to talk about this. Izzie would have to explain why she all of a sudden wanted to have sex with George and George would have to explain why he didn’t stop it from happening when he knew that she was in a very emotional state.
As they lay there George couldn’t help but have his thoughts wonder from when to start up the sex again to how the hell he got in this situation in the first place. I came in here to talk about what had happen before I left and somehow I ended up having sex multiple times in a string of many different positions. But how? How did I get from one thing to another? How did get from holding her as she shook from crying to holding her as she shook from having an intense orgasm? Did I miss something? As George got more and more confused by the minute, his thoughts were cut short when he felt Izzie roll onto her side and start kissing his neck already ready to start it up again. You need answers George so don’t get lost in her kiss. Make a stand. Ask her about the sex. And do it now before the blood rushes out of your head and starts heading south.
“Izzie.” he whispered trying to get her attention for a moment, but having difficulty trying not to focus on the softness of her lips on his neck. “Iz.” he whispered again.
“Hmm?” she moaned as she got on top of George without letting her lips stray from his neck.
George gulped trying to not forget about what he wanted to talk about “We need to talk about this.” he whispered. Izzie broke away from George’s neck and looked down at him. He looked serious about the talking but she also saw that there was a part of him that didn’t want her to stop, she could see it in his eyes and could feel it against her thigh.
Izzie smiled at his “Later,” she leaned down and gave him a light kiss on the lips “we will talk about it later, I promise.” she said as deepened the kiss. It took every once of strength in George to put his hands on her shoulders and lightly push her away and break the kiss they were now sharing.
Izzie looked down at him in confusion “What’s wrong?” she asked.
“We need to talk about this now.” George repeated. Izzie looked at him for another moment then rolled off him and onto her side of the bed.
“Ok.” she said sitting up and holding the sheet to her chest. “Let’s talk.”
George sat up and got ready to talk but when it came to actually saying something he didn’t really know what to say.
They sat in silence for another minute or so when Izzie had finally had enough of the waiting “Are we going to talk or can we go back to doing what we were doing before?”
“No we are going to talk I just don’t know what to talk about first.” George explained as he sat there wondering what was the best question to ask first. Great you gave up sex to sit here and wonder what the right question to ask is, real smart O’Malley, real smart. “How did this happen?” George finally asked gesturing between them.
“I…I don’t know. It just happened.” Izzie lied not knowing weather she should tell him about the memories that were slowly returning to her. Tell him…I can’t just tell him, if I tell him he will expect things….Things? What things?….He will expect me to remember everything, he will expect a relationship…and you don’t want that?…. I’m with Alex of course I don’t want that…. You may be with Alex but you want George, how else can you explain all the sex?…. It happened in the heat of the moment…. I so don’t believe you….
“Things like this don’t “just happen”,” George explained using air quotes with his fingers “trust me I know, I have been in this situation with you before. There is a reason why we had sex and I think I know the reason but I’m not totally sure.” Izzie looked down at this not being able to look at him “You said you wanted to do it again, but we hadn’t done it together since you got into your accident so that only means one other thing.” Izzie’s eyes shot up at this comment and locked with George’s “You are remembering, aren’t you?” he asked.
Izzie looked at him for another moment then nodded “Yeah, I remember a few things.”
“Like us having sex before?” George asked.
Izzie nodded again “Our first time. I remember the first time we had sex.”
George ran a hand through his hair “Your memory is coming back?” he asked making sure he was hearing right because he was about one second away from jumping up and down and he had to know he would be jumping up and down at nothing.
“Yeah.” Izzie whispered.
George’s face light up at her answer “That’s great!” he said excitedly. He got so excited in fact he jumped forward onto Izzie and both of them fell back onto the other end of the bed. George kissed Izzie heatedly forgetting that she had said she only remembered a few things. “I can’t believe you’re back.” he said in between kisses “I’ve missed you so much.” he said as he started kissing all over her face trying to soak up the moment.
“George wait.” Izzie said pushing lightly against him.
George ignored her and kept kissing his way down to her neck “You have no I idea what it’s been like without you.” George said against her skin.
“George it’s not what you think.” she said trying to get him to listen.
George leaned up and looked down at her smiling “What you mean?”
“I don’t remember everything. Just some things.” Izzie explained again.
“But it will come back and you will be you again.” he said leaning in to kiss her again but Izzie turned her head so he kissed her cheek.
Izzie started to sit up pushing George lightly off her. “It’s complicated.” she said getting up off the bed and wrapping the sheet around her.
“What do you mean?” George said grabbing the comforter off the ground and covering himself with it.
“I mean the memories are coming back but my feelings that I have had in the past week for certain people are still here. They are still in my heart.” Izzie explained.
It took George a second to realize what she was saying and when he did his eyes turned dark and his face turned into what looked like stone “You mean your feelings for Alex.” he said clenching his jaw and the sound of his name. “Your feelings for him are still there. Your feelings for the guy who has done nothing but treat you badly for the past three years of your life are still there.” George said.
“Yes I still have feelings for him, I still care deeply for him, and I still want to be with him.” Izzie said looking at George almost regretting saying that last thing the second it came out of her mouth. George face went from stone cold to blaring red in less then five seconds.
George stood up angrily “YOU STILL WANT TO BE WITH HIM?!!” he shouted “IZZIE THAT GUY IS A JACKASS! HE IS A JACKASS WHO CHEATED ON YOU! AND YOU WANT HIM?!” Izzie had never seen George this angry before and she had to admit she was a little scared.
“George calm down.” Izzie said calmly.
“NO I AM SICK OF BEING CALM! MEREDITH TELLS ME TO BE CALM AND PATIENT AND CRSITINA TELLS ME TO BE CALM BUT I’M SICK OF IT! WE MADE LOVE FOR THE PAST FOUR HOURS AND NOW HERE YOU ARE SAYING HOW MUCH YOU CARE ABOUT ALEX! I THINK I‘M ALOWED TO BE NOT CALM RIGHT NOW!” George walked to the other side of the bed and put on his boxers and pants.
“I’m sorry.” Izzie whispered looking down at her feet. “I am so sorry.”
George grabbed his shirt off the ground and put in on “You used me. You used me for some sick reason that I will never know and I have had enough.” George said heading toward the door. He was about to leave when he stopped and turned around, “You know you are going to remember everything at one point and when you do I don’t know if I will still be here waiting for you.” with that George turned and left Izzie standing in nothing but a sheet, one second away from falling part. Nice going…shut up…he’s right you know? You are going to remember at one point, you are going to be the old you again and you will realize everything you are close to loosing….but how can I pretend what I feel for Alex doesn’t exist…I don’t know how can you pretend what you feel for George doesn’t exist?