change of heart
so lets see, after i wrote the last one, i talked to one of my old friends about the possibilites of breaking up with dude... i guess about every 5 months i get restless or so... o my gosh i went home and talked to josey about its too... than i went on myspace and chris has a girl friend that comments to him and i was overcome by jealousy again... and we about got in an arugement over it and i was like wow im really goin to mess thangs up... thankfully he forgave me and i was so glad to see him again, and i was thinking i was tired of kissing but than i was like wow im really not at all... now i can't seem to get enough of him, i just want to be with him, the thought of losing him made me realize how much i like being with him... so yea whatever... now i have to control myself again and not let my heart and focuse be just on him but on God... or ill wind up disappointed. School is good i reall like my teachers and classes, i didn't know what i was doing in a math quizz, and the teacher was like ill just give everyone a 100 and next time study... than he went over it... i was like Thank you Jesus, you really knew what i needed when you put me in this class... work is overwheleming, i watch clutter tons of clutter come in all day... like overwhelmeing amounts carloads, 80 people average... and im just so taken back by it i give up, and it makes me feel really discouraged cause i know im not doing a good job, but i feel incapable to do so... than i come home and my room is sooo cluttererd and im just like i don't even want to deal with this either, i don't have room for it all... i really would like my own space so i could get organized, but im not ungrateful its just im tired... i use to be a perfectionist when i was young and i gave up, but i still am someone who it takes me forever to organize cuz i still have that perfectionism in me, and if its too much i just don't do anything... chruch is going well, i feel more and more comfortable with the poeple there... um ok thats my long update... o i got a flat yesterday and thank God i work next to a tire place and they fixed it for free... God does bless me alot in small but big ways....