Drum roll please...

May 12, 2004 00:14

Alright guys and dolls.. I think it is offical that I am crazy and that my heart and my mind don't speak the same language. Im scared of life, of failing, being out on my own, who my friends really are, love, never being loved,finding love, keeping that love once Ive found it, knowing if its right or not, finishing school to be put in some job that I dont even like, but most of all im afraid of waking up each morning and going to bed each night and not being happy. Being happy is a simple thing to ask for right? I mean it is something that you can have. Im having a hard enough time now getting everything done, school, friends, work, a life. But what is it going to be like when I have a house to clean, kids, a job, a husband, bills to keep up with, and everything else on top of that? I can hardly do what I do now. But sadly the stuff above is what I want more then anything. That is what would make me happy. I act like im 30 but at the same time I still feel like im some silly 12 year old with an internet boyfriend.. not that I have an internet boyfriend, because I dont Kyle. But its just... I dont know.

I need to take a road trip...
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