More and More Shit
WTF!! WHEN WILL IT STOP?!?
Today I had to drop out of school. I'm officially a college drop out. I had taken two classes to keep my financial aid (you know, so I could live), but because I was dropped from the grad school program, the financial aid won't cover my classes. Yeah, the money I got two months ago now has to go back. Of course, it's too late to drop the classes to get any kind of tuition reimbursement, so I'm paying for classes I'll never get credit for that probably won't show up on my transcripts as anything. Not to mention I just wasted my time stressing about a midterm I took this morning. So now I've got a payment plan with the university. They want it paid off in six months, or pull $5400 from my ass and give it to them. They were like "you could get a loan!" but not a federal loan. And all the private loans require credit, which I know I don't have because Em and I tried to get a few grand last year for him to go to school.
My Classical Studies prof was really disapointed. He really wanted to help, but didn't know how. It was nice that he was concerned. That's how everyone's been. I've been in the loans and collection office a lot too, and they really want to help, but can't. In fact, they barely know what to do (it's been like "well, I'll ask the supervisor. I'm sure someone in this office will know what to do"). Resounding unfairness all around.
Oh, and letter from the hospital (remember how I don't have insurance?) denying assistance. That's because Em's account shows fairly hefty deposits, but that is because Em's dad is paying for tuition, which goes right back out almost as soon as it is in. The hospital thinks we have money in a secret account, but the truth is I don't even have money to pay the rent in June. And as much as I don't have $5,400 sitting around, I also don't have $1400 sitting around. And I can't borrow either of them. Who would I borrow from?
M pointed out that everyday my life is drastically different. And more changes are happening all the time. Shit, at this point, I'm not sure I'm going to make it through. How many hits do I have to take before this whole thing settles down? When can I be forgiven for it? I'm happy to suffer the consequences of my actions, but this is getting a little out of whack. It's not comical--it's tragic, so forgive me if I'm having a hard time laughing at it. For the next several years, all of my money is basically going to go towards what I spent this last quarter, because of a bit of poor judgment, and a whole lot of beurocracy. I wish there was someone to get mad at, or at least write a strongly worded letter to. But it's the whole system and it just keeps coming. I've gotten nothing but bad advice from start to finish.
I like to think this is somehow good, because maybe I can move out early and do other things that I didn't have time to do before. I've got a few weeks until camp starts, and I've still got to get this apt subletted and moved out. Maybe I can move out by June... Ever the optimist, eh?
Today I had to drop out of school. I'm officially a college drop out. I had taken two classes to keep my financial aid (you know, so I could live), but because I was dropped from the grad school program, the financial aid won't cover my classes. Yeah, the money I got two months ago now has to go back. Of course, it's too late to drop the classes to get any kind of tuition reimbursement, so I'm paying for classes I'll never get credit for that probably won't show up on my transcripts as anything. Not to mention I just wasted my time stressing about a midterm I took this morning. So now I've got a payment plan with the university. They want it paid off in six months, or pull $5400 from my ass and give it to them. They were like "you could get a loan!" but not a federal loan. And all the private loans require credit, which I know I don't have because Em and I tried to get a few grand last year for him to go to school.
My Classical Studies prof was really disapointed. He really wanted to help, but didn't know how. It was nice that he was concerned. That's how everyone's been. I've been in the loans and collection office a lot too, and they really want to help, but can't. In fact, they barely know what to do (it's been like "well, I'll ask the supervisor. I'm sure someone in this office will know what to do"). Resounding unfairness all around.
Oh, and letter from the hospital (remember how I don't have insurance?) denying assistance. That's because Em's account shows fairly hefty deposits, but that is because Em's dad is paying for tuition, which goes right back out almost as soon as it is in. The hospital thinks we have money in a secret account, but the truth is I don't even have money to pay the rent in June. And as much as I don't have $5,400 sitting around, I also don't have $1400 sitting around. And I can't borrow either of them. Who would I borrow from?
M pointed out that everyday my life is drastically different. And more changes are happening all the time. Shit, at this point, I'm not sure I'm going to make it through. How many hits do I have to take before this whole thing settles down? When can I be forgiven for it? I'm happy to suffer the consequences of my actions, but this is getting a little out of whack. It's not comical--it's tragic, so forgive me if I'm having a hard time laughing at it. For the next several years, all of my money is basically going to go towards what I spent this last quarter, because of a bit of poor judgment, and a whole lot of beurocracy. I wish there was someone to get mad at, or at least write a strongly worded letter to. But it's the whole system and it just keeps coming. I've gotten nothing but bad advice from start to finish.
I like to think this is somehow good, because maybe I can move out early and do other things that I didn't have time to do before. I've got a few weeks until camp starts, and I've still got to get this apt subletted and moved out. Maybe I can move out by June... Ever the optimist, eh?