Fuck.
I am so bored! This house is so empty. The only company I have is music. If I didn't have that I would have already gone insane. Insanity? Lee, have you found anything yet? Please tell me.
I feel so LOST without my car. It was worth losing it though because I loved being in Nashville for 8 days. I wasn't there long enough.
I found out something that really upset me last night. I don't want it to end. It is the only thing keeping me here. Why did you have to tell me something like that? Everything had started to look up. I started shaking when you told me that you didn't want to do it anymore. We have to stick together. So many people will be crushed. Don't give up yet. There is still hope. We CAN fix it. We have such a beautiful thing going on. People will start coming again. We just need to put the word out to the bands. So many things will go wrong if you but an end to it. People need to grow up. If you are that willing to give up on something beautiful then your heart was never in it. We will get past this.
So I am leaving for Florida on Saturday and I am not looking forward to it. The beach is not calling my name. A bathing suit is definitely not on my side. Six days with my mom...TORTURE. I can already hear the bitching. I've been frantically looking for a show in the near vicinity of Ft Walton beach but no such luck. I wish Graham was going to be moved in. He would only be twenty minutes from me. Well, actually I take that back because if Graham is in Florida that means that he isn't in Nashville anymore. Im not ready for that. I am not ready to lose you so easily. I can easily make the trip to Nashville but to Florida that is just to far.
Everyday has its highs and lows. More lows than anything. I am just not the same person anymore. So many things have taken affect on me and not for the better. I have just stopped caring. The people I care about don't look at me the same anymore or maybe I am just being paranoid. I feel like I am back in highschool walking to class everyday by myself wishing I wasn't there. I hated that part of my life. I was so hateful. Now here I am again. Alone and going crazy. If I had my car I would just get up and go. No particular place. Just drive. Figure my destination later. Someone come and break this silence.
I want to get my tattoo finished. I hope Brandon comes back to Memphis soon. I hate looking at it unfinished.
I am done trying to pass time.
.just.fucking.breathe.
I feel so LOST without my car. It was worth losing it though because I loved being in Nashville for 8 days. I wasn't there long enough.
I found out something that really upset me last night. I don't want it to end. It is the only thing keeping me here. Why did you have to tell me something like that? Everything had started to look up. I started shaking when you told me that you didn't want to do it anymore. We have to stick together. So many people will be crushed. Don't give up yet. There is still hope. We CAN fix it. We have such a beautiful thing going on. People will start coming again. We just need to put the word out to the bands. So many things will go wrong if you but an end to it. People need to grow up. If you are that willing to give up on something beautiful then your heart was never in it. We will get past this.
So I am leaving for Florida on Saturday and I am not looking forward to it. The beach is not calling my name. A bathing suit is definitely not on my side. Six days with my mom...TORTURE. I can already hear the bitching. I've been frantically looking for a show in the near vicinity of Ft Walton beach but no such luck. I wish Graham was going to be moved in. He would only be twenty minutes from me. Well, actually I take that back because if Graham is in Florida that means that he isn't in Nashville anymore. Im not ready for that. I am not ready to lose you so easily. I can easily make the trip to Nashville but to Florida that is just to far.
Everyday has its highs and lows. More lows than anything. I am just not the same person anymore. So many things have taken affect on me and not for the better. I have just stopped caring. The people I care about don't look at me the same anymore or maybe I am just being paranoid. I feel like I am back in highschool walking to class everyday by myself wishing I wasn't there. I hated that part of my life. I was so hateful. Now here I am again. Alone and going crazy. If I had my car I would just get up and go. No particular place. Just drive. Figure my destination later. Someone come and break this silence.
I want to get my tattoo finished. I hope Brandon comes back to Memphis soon. I hate looking at it unfinished.
I am done trying to pass time.
.just.fucking.breathe.