A little explanation.
I really don't feel like writing about my personal life in here. Let's just say things are a lot better. And I'm "talking" to someone who makes me feel very happy. In fact he makes my heart skip a beat so often; I should be in cardiac arrest. <3
Onto less personal issues.
Academics.
I've survived my first two college finals. They both sucked, in lack of better words. I know I passed my Physics final. I'm not happy with the grade, especially in comparison to my two study buddies, and their grades. But they are both more science and math minded. They are also, much more relaxed when it comes to testing. I am going to miss Physics. Granted I never got the best test grades in there, but I did get the best lab grades. I understand the concepts, and the theories. I love the formulas and the word problems. I love the feeling of finishing a physics question. I understand why my brother loves Physics. Most of all I love the people in Physics. I love Jess and Logan, Booty and Doug. But most importantly I love Ms. Burch. She is the greatest teacher ever. I know without her, I would hate Physics. I would be failing, I wouldn't have passed my college final, and I would be not as confident as I am. So, thank you Ms. Burch for being the most wonderful teacher I've ever had, and for making me love Physics.
Pre Calc on the other hand...Well what can be said. It was the most amusing class because of the people. The ideas are abstract. There is no fluidity in what is taught, and Mr. Harse doesn't teach in the manner in which I learn best. This doesn't mean I don't like him, or he is a bad teacher. The fact that I did not the greatest in his class is due to my math test anxiety, and the fact that he only includes test and quizzes when doing grades.
Both of these classes were fun, in the fact that they amused me. They didn't help my average, my rank. AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT?
I DON'T F***ING CARE!
I took these classes for me, to better myself, to help me get ready for college, and the challenge myself.
Rank used to be very important to me. Slowly but surely, it has become less and less important to me. I do what I do, for myself. Not to lessen my load so my rank looks better on a college application. I feel this is cheating you. By taking a heavier class load I am going to be more prepared for college work. Those who drop classes are used to study halls and free time; college courses get you used to homework, tests, studying and much more. I realize that I used to be at the top of the class, and that was great, but I'm content where I am now because it takes in account all the work I've done. I am not in competition with other people. I compete against myself. I push myself to do my best. That is all one can ask of themselves. Nothing more, nothing less. Nobody is perfect. And if you think you are better than someone because their rank is lower than yours because they took harder classes, then you really should brace yourself for college, it might be a rocky road, and I'm not talking ice cream.
Yes, my brother graduated first in his class. Yes, he is the most intelligent person I know. Yes, he is getting his PhD in Medical Physics. Yes, that is impressive. Yes, I am extremely proud of him. But that is him. I'm not him. I'm not going to graduate first in my class. I'm not going to get a PhD in Medical Physics. I can't live my life like someone else anymore. I am doing things for me. And I'm happy.