kids
"we like to watch you laughing."
oh man. i love getting my period. i love the high. cause that's what it is, really. it's a hormonal high. i really wish i could bottle it and take a swig any time i feel low. cause this is amazing. granted, i am also drunk at this point, but really...there is no greater high than my hormones. i feel optimistic and damn near euphoric. i guess i shouldn't be so damn greedy. getting this once a month is enough, right? can i really expect to feel this way every day? that would be crazy.
i start my days with "hyperballad" by bjork--i brush my teeth and put my make up on...i try and dress myself in a professional way. my breasts more often than not hinder this. but as i brush away the coffee on my tongue, i think that yes, i am throwing small things off a cliff, to start my day.
i end my day listening to "kids" my mgmt. i want to end my day dancing...always. i know that is not always the case. but it's a dream of mine. i wanted to dance tonight. that didn't happen. insufficient circumstances. so i wait until saturday. i will be able to dance then. and i hope against hope that my hormones will still be up to speed then. i think they will be. not quite as euphoric as they are now, but maybe there will still be some trace of that hope. JESUS. that hope that comes once a month--that feeling that everything is exactly as it should be mixed with the belief that amazing things can happen. i always believe that amazing things CAN happen, but when i get this high i also think that they WILL happen, and SOON.
yes yes yes yes. this has to last until saturday. i will make it last till saturday night. i will dance and smile and believe that anything is possible. because everyone i love will be there and french horn will be playing and i will be free to make a fool of myself. fuck. i can't wait.
oh man. i love getting my period. i love the high. cause that's what it is, really. it's a hormonal high. i really wish i could bottle it and take a swig any time i feel low. cause this is amazing. granted, i am also drunk at this point, but really...there is no greater high than my hormones. i feel optimistic and damn near euphoric. i guess i shouldn't be so damn greedy. getting this once a month is enough, right? can i really expect to feel this way every day? that would be crazy.
i start my days with "hyperballad" by bjork--i brush my teeth and put my make up on...i try and dress myself in a professional way. my breasts more often than not hinder this. but as i brush away the coffee on my tongue, i think that yes, i am throwing small things off a cliff, to start my day.
i end my day listening to "kids" my mgmt. i want to end my day dancing...always. i know that is not always the case. but it's a dream of mine. i wanted to dance tonight. that didn't happen. insufficient circumstances. so i wait until saturday. i will be able to dance then. and i hope against hope that my hormones will still be up to speed then. i think they will be. not quite as euphoric as they are now, but maybe there will still be some trace of that hope. JESUS. that hope that comes once a month--that feeling that everything is exactly as it should be mixed with the belief that amazing things can happen. i always believe that amazing things CAN happen, but when i get this high i also think that they WILL happen, and SOON.
yes yes yes yes. this has to last until saturday. i will make it last till saturday night. i will dance and smile and believe that anything is possible. because everyone i love will be there and french horn will be playing and i will be free to make a fool of myself. fuck. i can't wait.