Creepy Transit Guys
So, I’ve had a fair amount of spare time at work lately and we all know what that means! Feminist reading time! This time around I’ve been really getting into Captain Awkward, and I love, love, love the commenters. Sometimes I’ll spend the whole day (on and off) browsing the comments for a single post. I read most of the comments for the Creepy Guy in my Friends Circle post, and today I’m working my way through the comments in response to Captain A’s rant about Creepy Train Guys.
I am glad that people are sharing their stories, on Captain Awkward’s site and elsewhere. Of course, I hate that these stories are all so similar and universal. I have a number of stories of my own, especially when it comes to using public transit. I have been thinking about the last time I encountered a Creepy Train Guy, and actually... it hasn’t been for a long, long time. Probably not since I was in university.
I don’t know why I’m suddenly not a target. It’s been suggested (by myself and others) that maybe it’s because I’m older or more confident or more confrontational. But none of those theories hold up. I’ve looked the same since junior high, and the internet has informed me that looks don’t have much to do with it anyway. A huge cross-section of women experience this behaviour, no matter how they look or dress. Many of these women seem to be very confident, some more confrontational and aggressive than me. So why aren’t I being harassed?
I was discussing this with a friend who has noticed the same phenomenon. She said that while she’s happy she isn’t getting harassed anymore, it kind of annoys her because she essentially wants to prove to herself that she can handle it, that she can talk back, defend herself, enforce her boundaries, whatever. I completely understand. I am really, really glad I don’t get harassed. But at the same time, I have this weird desire to prove to myself that I can tell off a douchebag, that I can switch seats or say “please don’t talk to me.” I want to prove to myself that I can make the Creeper look bad and shame him for his behaviour, that I won’t tolerate harassment. I’m not getting the chance to show off these abilities, and while I’m happy about that, I’m also intensely curious. If I knew the secret to my success I could share it with other people.
My leading theory right now is that I really only use public transit during the week, during rush hour, whereas before I would be on transit at odd hours, often on sparsely populated buses or trains. I think this is a pretty solid theory, since not only have I not been harassed, but I haven’t witnessed it happening to anyone else. After all, it is hard to isolate someone when you’re packed like sardines, and creepers don’t seem to like having an audience. However, it’s not a perfect theory, since I don’t recall being harassed during my time as a Notetaker or while I was attending college (which happened after university), and I still travelled at odd hours then. Maybe there are just fewer creepers around? Nah!
I am glad that people are sharing their stories, on Captain Awkward’s site and elsewhere. Of course, I hate that these stories are all so similar and universal. I have a number of stories of my own, especially when it comes to using public transit. I have been thinking about the last time I encountered a Creepy Train Guy, and actually... it hasn’t been for a long, long time. Probably not since I was in university.
I don’t know why I’m suddenly not a target. It’s been suggested (by myself and others) that maybe it’s because I’m older or more confident or more confrontational. But none of those theories hold up. I’ve looked the same since junior high, and the internet has informed me that looks don’t have much to do with it anyway. A huge cross-section of women experience this behaviour, no matter how they look or dress. Many of these women seem to be very confident, some more confrontational and aggressive than me. So why aren’t I being harassed?
I was discussing this with a friend who has noticed the same phenomenon. She said that while she’s happy she isn’t getting harassed anymore, it kind of annoys her because she essentially wants to prove to herself that she can handle it, that she can talk back, defend herself, enforce her boundaries, whatever. I completely understand. I am really, really glad I don’t get harassed. But at the same time, I have this weird desire to prove to myself that I can tell off a douchebag, that I can switch seats or say “please don’t talk to me.” I want to prove to myself that I can make the Creeper look bad and shame him for his behaviour, that I won’t tolerate harassment. I’m not getting the chance to show off these abilities, and while I’m happy about that, I’m also intensely curious. If I knew the secret to my success I could share it with other people.
My leading theory right now is that I really only use public transit during the week, during rush hour, whereas before I would be on transit at odd hours, often on sparsely populated buses or trains. I think this is a pretty solid theory, since not only have I not been harassed, but I haven’t witnessed it happening to anyone else. After all, it is hard to isolate someone when you’re packed like sardines, and creepers don’t seem to like having an audience. However, it’s not a perfect theory, since I don’t recall being harassed during my time as a Notetaker or while I was attending college (which happened after university), and I still travelled at odd hours then. Maybe there are just fewer creepers around? Nah!