(no subject)
To be honest I am not so sure if i like this new look to livejournal. Ok so maybe it's not so new but it's new to me! since i don't really do a lot w. this lately. I think about it all the time.
Lets see whats goin on in my life....
I have this eye infection i think i got it from a close friend ..no names disclosed... ha it just hurts and waters somewhat i just got it today..it hurts when i blink...and i don't know if u realize this or not but u blink A LOT!!! a lot of blinking happens w. in like an hour so heres to that OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
anyhow.
Lately i have have ben HUNGRYYYYYYYYYY i don't think i can stress exactly enough just how hungry i have been. like food and food and food. And since i am not like 20 i think i am getting fat. I have to realize that i can't be hungry. I need to be like i was last year...which is basically anorexic. I never ate..but this wasn't a vanity thing this was more of just a...i am depressed and not hungry ever thing....but whatever i stayed skinny.
So lately i have been feeling somewhat lonely... maybe a slight bit depressed.
not so much when i am at work and well everyone who knows me knows...I AM LIKE ALWAYS AT WORK... because well it's just busy and i don't really have time to think about stuff like that. I am not really depressed i just sort of have a good deal on my mind.
I had thought i would be gone out of athens by this time but here i am. To be totally honest it in away doesn't bother me that much because normally i feel pretty happy counting i have a good amount of good friends. I mean sure my friends aren't perfect but they are prefect for me. so it works... But i do need to face the fact i am getting old-er haha like the er added ...fear of the word old. here i can act as if i am still 21 and no one knows but ...i know. i am actually 26 years old. i hear different views from ppl about my life... like some have the only young once..would u rather be in a city working 50 hours a week never having fun...then there is the ..when are u going to grow up ppl...whatever i guess i will and should do just what i want!!!
So Sam Devictor has been hangin out back around athens i love seeing her head. i makes me happy..and her boobies and well her in general. I was talking to her about moving somewhere after graduation time. I know that is like really far from now..but i was thinking like la or something..i don't know i have no direction in life. I need to work more here and not really so much SAVE but just PAY OFF some or just plain PAY some bills..ya heard?!
There isn't anything ANYTHING exciting on the guy front. boo
I still talk to adam even though he puts off so much shade that i can't even see sometime. i just sort of take things for what they are ..i am not looking into anything to much...just whatever...i enjoy talking to him on the phone and such when i answer his calls.. not like IN LOVE ..type enjoy haha i just really don't talk on the phone so generally when i talk it's a break from whatever i am doing... i don't know what i think...
i realized recently that all my friends have boyfriends... just about except lauren and i.. and well she has a guy that u could pretty much say is her boyfriend. Kevin from the pub..whatever they have been talking now for like almost 4 months. title or no title... they are close enough for me to call them boyfriend girlfriend in my livejournal post haha like anyone reads this anyhow...
Adam said he wanted to come to ou in like two weeks ..maybe wonder what will go on. it's always interesting around here when we have visitors.
Recently i have been thinking about my last REAL boyfriend it's been now two and a half years i think...if i remember right wow ..anyhow like i eventually fell out of love w. him and it was really hard on him..sometimes i think back though and remember things. He was a good friend actually he may have been the closest to my personality. I wasn't as attracted to him towards the end and most days i feel that i did the right thing...but every once in a while i sit back and wonder where i would be and how things would be different if i hadn't broken up w. him. I am nearly 100% certain that my life would be better off ...money wise , job wise , location wise...not sure if i would be truely happy w. my partner though i may have always felt like there was a lack of attraction and that ... honestly is bad enough to over shadow all the other positives...i think?!
sometimes u never know...u know what i mean..what might have been. I figured i would find someone that i was equally as interested in by this point. There have been guys who i thought were interesting/ fun/ attractive...all those..for like the moment... but for one reason or another ...it didnt work out.
i guess adam is the longest i have talked to anyone since steve...well not really Mike eonta..i talked to him but we were friends most of the time. anyhow...but adam is well adam and he lives 3 hours away so who knows how long the situation may have lasted had he went here. plus he's so shady and all that makes me by force have to realize that nothing seriously will probably ever happen in the near future....i mean how could it?!
so whats a girl to do
?
i am tired now. i am sure i have more on my mind but i am sleepy so i am going to go to bed... lots of fun work tomorrow!
wonder where i will be a year from now?!
any guesses ( no one can write dead)
ps Tai i miss ya.
Lets see whats goin on in my life....
I have this eye infection i think i got it from a close friend ..no names disclosed... ha it just hurts and waters somewhat i just got it today..it hurts when i blink...and i don't know if u realize this or not but u blink A LOT!!! a lot of blinking happens w. in like an hour so heres to that OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
anyhow.
Lately i have have ben HUNGRYYYYYYYYYY i don't think i can stress exactly enough just how hungry i have been. like food and food and food. And since i am not like 20 i think i am getting fat. I have to realize that i can't be hungry. I need to be like i was last year...which is basically anorexic. I never ate..but this wasn't a vanity thing this was more of just a...i am depressed and not hungry ever thing....but whatever i stayed skinny.
So lately i have been feeling somewhat lonely... maybe a slight bit depressed.
not so much when i am at work and well everyone who knows me knows...I AM LIKE ALWAYS AT WORK... because well it's just busy and i don't really have time to think about stuff like that. I am not really depressed i just sort of have a good deal on my mind.
I had thought i would be gone out of athens by this time but here i am. To be totally honest it in away doesn't bother me that much because normally i feel pretty happy counting i have a good amount of good friends. I mean sure my friends aren't perfect but they are prefect for me. so it works... But i do need to face the fact i am getting old-er haha like the er added ...fear of the word old. here i can act as if i am still 21 and no one knows but ...i know. i am actually 26 years old. i hear different views from ppl about my life... like some have the only young once..would u rather be in a city working 50 hours a week never having fun...then there is the ..when are u going to grow up ppl...whatever i guess i will and should do just what i want!!!
So Sam Devictor has been hangin out back around athens i love seeing her head. i makes me happy..and her boobies and well her in general. I was talking to her about moving somewhere after graduation time. I know that is like really far from now..but i was thinking like la or something..i don't know i have no direction in life. I need to work more here and not really so much SAVE but just PAY OFF some or just plain PAY some bills..ya heard?!
There isn't anything ANYTHING exciting on the guy front. boo
I still talk to adam even though he puts off so much shade that i can't even see sometime. i just sort of take things for what they are ..i am not looking into anything to much...just whatever...i enjoy talking to him on the phone and such when i answer his calls.. not like IN LOVE ..type enjoy haha i just really don't talk on the phone so generally when i talk it's a break from whatever i am doing... i don't know what i think...
i realized recently that all my friends have boyfriends... just about except lauren and i.. and well she has a guy that u could pretty much say is her boyfriend. Kevin from the pub..whatever they have been talking now for like almost 4 months. title or no title... they are close enough for me to call them boyfriend girlfriend in my livejournal post haha like anyone reads this anyhow...
Adam said he wanted to come to ou in like two weeks ..maybe wonder what will go on. it's always interesting around here when we have visitors.
Recently i have been thinking about my last REAL boyfriend it's been now two and a half years i think...if i remember right wow ..anyhow like i eventually fell out of love w. him and it was really hard on him..sometimes i think back though and remember things. He was a good friend actually he may have been the closest to my personality. I wasn't as attracted to him towards the end and most days i feel that i did the right thing...but every once in a while i sit back and wonder where i would be and how things would be different if i hadn't broken up w. him. I am nearly 100% certain that my life would be better off ...money wise , job wise , location wise...not sure if i would be truely happy w. my partner though i may have always felt like there was a lack of attraction and that ... honestly is bad enough to over shadow all the other positives...i think?!
sometimes u never know...u know what i mean..what might have been. I figured i would find someone that i was equally as interested in by this point. There have been guys who i thought were interesting/ fun/ attractive...all those..for like the moment... but for one reason or another ...it didnt work out.
i guess adam is the longest i have talked to anyone since steve...well not really Mike eonta..i talked to him but we were friends most of the time. anyhow...but adam is well adam and he lives 3 hours away so who knows how long the situation may have lasted had he went here. plus he's so shady and all that makes me by force have to realize that nothing seriously will probably ever happen in the near future....i mean how could it?!
so whats a girl to do
?
i am tired now. i am sure i have more on my mind but i am sleepy so i am going to go to bed... lots of fun work tomorrow!
wonder where i will be a year from now?!
any guesses ( no one can write dead)
ps Tai i miss ya.