Life Update
I haven't been posting as frequently on my social media about my art because for basically the entire month of May, I didn't let myself paint at all. I devoted all my creative time to the project. Perhaps that wasn't the best idea... Like my intention was good, but I didn't need to be that strict. I probably caused myself more stress and I always worry that if I step away from painting every day, I'll lose the habit and go back to a boring life. Ahh, catastrophizing... my old friend.
In addition to this hefty project with a WICKED SHORT DEADLINE, I've also been spending tons of time in New Hampshire with my family because Briana was 9 months pregnant, abandoned by her baby daddy, and I needed to help take care of her giant two year old. LOL. Like... that baby is strong. My sister, Briana's mother, is diabetic and weak... she is most likely going to lose her feet in the coming years. Then there's my mom, who is old and acts even older. I'm the only one strong enough in the family and with the free time to do it, so I'm stepping up.
I know it's not my responsibility, but I want to be here. I am attached to Briana and her kids. It's crazy. And like, I need to learn how to take care of children in case I ever decide to have one. I've never been able to be so close to any other children... like, I spent a lot of time with my niece Alana but I was like 10 years old and no one trusted me with a baby. I got to hold my little sister for a while, but once she turned 1 my dad died and I basically never saw her again regularly. I can't wait till she's like 18 so I can be real with her about why I'm not around. Basically: Your mother is the fucking devil.
So yeah I'm dealing with a lot of stuff right now and I haven't been home. Of course I brought some travel paint stuff and I've painted a bit, it's nowhere near as much as usual. I usually spend about 40% of my time painting. Now, it's like 5%. Every time I get set up, it's time to leave to go somewhere and do something. Plus I've been watching Monroe for the last few days and it's hard to paint around a two year old.
Sometimes she's really good and plays by herself or just watches me paint... but that's not all the time and it helped when her dad was around to help out. Briana had a C-section so for like 6 weeks she will be out of commission. I am going to help out as best as I can.
In addition to this hefty project with a WICKED SHORT DEADLINE, I've also been spending tons of time in New Hampshire with my family because Briana was 9 months pregnant, abandoned by her baby daddy, and I needed to help take care of her giant two year old. LOL. Like... that baby is strong. My sister, Briana's mother, is diabetic and weak... she is most likely going to lose her feet in the coming years. Then there's my mom, who is old and acts even older. I'm the only one strong enough in the family and with the free time to do it, so I'm stepping up.
I know it's not my responsibility, but I want to be here. I am attached to Briana and her kids. It's crazy. And like, I need to learn how to take care of children in case I ever decide to have one. I've never been able to be so close to any other children... like, I spent a lot of time with my niece Alana but I was like 10 years old and no one trusted me with a baby. I got to hold my little sister for a while, but once she turned 1 my dad died and I basically never saw her again regularly. I can't wait till she's like 18 so I can be real with her about why I'm not around. Basically: Your mother is the fucking devil.
So yeah I'm dealing with a lot of stuff right now and I haven't been home. Of course I brought some travel paint stuff and I've painted a bit, it's nowhere near as much as usual. I usually spend about 40% of my time painting. Now, it's like 5%. Every time I get set up, it's time to leave to go somewhere and do something. Plus I've been watching Monroe for the last few days and it's hard to paint around a two year old.
Sometimes she's really good and plays by herself or just watches me paint... but that's not all the time and it helped when her dad was around to help out. Briana had a C-section so for like 6 weeks she will be out of commission. I am going to help out as best as I can.