Reality's Betrayal

[gingergirlslove]

Monotonous. The lies of a false deity, telling me I'll never love like that again. The way I loved a true God, having been ripped from the very fibers of my spinal chord. How empty & powerless I felt. No matter how pure my tears were, there was no God that showed up, and saved me...from that. No scripture consoled me, no matter how many I read. No

Comments

[gingergirlslove]

Yes, thank you. I am coming out of an extreme nervous breakdown, as a result of all this. I am using this writing platform as a way to intellectually organize my experience and convey the extremities of it. I will eventually have it all into a book, which will be aimed at waking up "God's people" to the reality & dangers of human trafficking. It will also, incidentally, hold them to the very words and actions they tout at people and each other. (actually, that's my favorite part) If you take them at what they "teach & preach" and hold them to it, it pretty much shuts them up. My book will be titled Anihilation: This Means War, and a good, healthy portion of it will be holding them accountable. Whether they choose to take action on the recovery of human trafficking victims, or not, they WILL have to acknowledge the truth and reality I bring "from God", as when preparing to do battle (spiritually), one MUST humble themselves. This will DEFINITELY lead them to that. For now, I just have to get some things written out, so that I can organize it. Part of the healing process has been overcoming various fears, which is the reason I chose to do this in a public place. Xenia is a small town that harshly judges and robs of grace, while all the while making it appear as the opposite. I will bring that to light. I realize much of Christianity is like that, but not everywhere. There are places that actually do it right, and I am learning to seek those out, now, while maintaining a healthy perspective and perception of reality. I have a lot of work to do to bring it together, but I am excited for it.

[alexanderscttb]

It sounds exciting, and also important. It gives me hope to see there are people out there such as yourself willing to sort out the details of a horrific experience, not to repress it, and working towards bringing the truth to the light.
Much of what you’re saying and what I’ve seen you’ve written so far, reminds me of the figure of the demiurge in gnostic Christianity. I mentioned Manichaeism in a previous post, that I think also has this concept of a demiurge, or a creator god that contrives a false reality. This is the material realm itself in some variations. When you mentioned trying to hold a person to the actual teachings of The Christ, which I assume means that revolutionary spirit of Love, the Kingdom of God is within you, “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God” etc., it reminded me of that. The idea that there are some people who want to be Christians, but a great deal more who just want to appear to be Christians. There’s of course a big difference between those two realities.
I think it’s good that you’re cutting your teeth on writing of your experiences publicly as a warm up to writing your book. Is it going to be an exposé on the reality of human trafficking? I also applaud you for tackling that issue. . . but I’m sorry to hear that something must have happened to you. . . The problem is actually a huge one and also one that I hold dear to my heart, in terms of one that we need to battle because at least in my view, it doesn’t seem like the powers that be are really doing anything to stop it. In fact, I think the deeper one looked into the matter, the more possible it seems that elements of power are actually complicit in allowing this illegal trade to prosper.
As a fellow Ohioan, and one who has suffered a number of nervous breakdowns in his life, each with a distinctly spiritual dimension, I salute you in your mission!

[gingergirlslove]

I'm so sorry, I just saw this. Life is quite "slow goes it". Posts have been sporadic, at best, and often for "just me". I've "deleted/cancelled" the dam journal two or three TIMES now, and find some reason to come back too it, as you have 12 months after doing so, to retrieve info, or change your mind. The determination is still there, but it's difficult to organize so much inside me, and then sometimes, it's like there's "nothing there", as in the words that don't come like they should. As if, the powers that be, KNOW that I DARE to be contentious with them. Today was much better. I have been having "breakthroughs" again, and look forward to completing somethings, and coming into more knowledge about power and control in my own life, as wisdom comes through what is needed to say, and more confidence to seek out who to say things to, and with. I posted today with more clarity, and look forward to bringing about a greater manifestation. Whether it will be some big "famous thing" or not, obviously shall remain to be seen, but I look forward to being healthier, more successful, and more present of mind.