This country!!!!
Hullo. No porn for now. Just wibbling from me. :(
I spent a huge chunk of my afternoon with a trusted government informant, learning about how the politicians and big businessmen are screwing my country. I've never been a big believer of government--I was an activist, and then a pseudo-anarchist in college--but I've never been more depressed about this whole governance thing in my life.
Being an economic journalist has given me access to the sordid details of how politicians, policymakers, big businessmen, and power brokers divide and conquer this God-forsaken country. Project after project, loan after loan, program after program. The story is the same, the characters are the same. Leaders and cronies pick government projects, haggle and bribe their ways into cornering these projects, and proceed to make money on the expense of the general public.
It disgusts me.
I'm tired. I want to live somewhere that this doesn't happen all the time. Or somewhere that, if it does, has working streetlights and low poverty incidence at least. I want to work my ass off but not go home depressed because of "the general state of society." I want to take time off and listen to music, daydream and just doodle without feeling guilty that I could have used the time better by exposing corruption or some such rot.
I hate that I'm cynical at 22. I hate that I'm so young and yet so exposed. Elsewhere in the world people my age are partying, having fun, making out, making friends, dancing. Me? I'm investigating corruption. How grand.
I swear. One day, I'm going to snap and move to Florida. (JenLiz, you better be ready for me.)
I really, really, really, really need a hug right now.
*sighs*
*sobs*
I spent a huge chunk of my afternoon with a trusted government informant, learning about how the politicians and big businessmen are screwing my country. I've never been a big believer of government--I was an activist, and then a pseudo-anarchist in college--but I've never been more depressed about this whole governance thing in my life.
Being an economic journalist has given me access to the sordid details of how politicians, policymakers, big businessmen, and power brokers divide and conquer this God-forsaken country. Project after project, loan after loan, program after program. The story is the same, the characters are the same. Leaders and cronies pick government projects, haggle and bribe their ways into cornering these projects, and proceed to make money on the expense of the general public.
It disgusts me.
I'm tired. I want to live somewhere that this doesn't happen all the time. Or somewhere that, if it does, has working streetlights and low poverty incidence at least. I want to work my ass off but not go home depressed because of "the general state of society." I want to take time off and listen to music, daydream and just doodle without feeling guilty that I could have used the time better by exposing corruption or some such rot.
I hate that I'm cynical at 22. I hate that I'm so young and yet so exposed. Elsewhere in the world people my age are partying, having fun, making out, making friends, dancing. Me? I'm investigating corruption. How grand.
I swear. One day, I'm going to snap and move to Florida. (JenLiz, you better be ready for me.)
I really, really, really, really need a hug right now.
*sighs*
*sobs*