(no subject)
Let me make the disclaimer that I really don't expect any of you to read this 'cause it's just gonna be my random thoughts. This is my journal afterall =) So I'm toying with the idea of grad school. I'm coming to realize that I'm almost out of school, which means I either need to a) get a real career(yipers) b) get married so my husband can find a real career (won't happen for a while...) or c) keep going to school. Anyone have another idea? Those were my conclusions. A friend of mine once asked, "What do you do when you're scared and confused and don't know what to do after you graduate? You go to grad school!" (I'm hoping that isn't the only reason people go to grad school...) And grad school really is an option... I'm not too far in debt, I have good grades, and my family would definitely support me. But grad school is alot of work! I'm watching Mom go through grad school and it's terrifying! Andy would know better than I... but, k, here's the thing. I don't know what I'd go to grad school for!
My theory professor has decided that I should become a theoretician and that Dr. Nitkowski has a nice ring to it. Yea, I think so too =) But I can't do music theory for the rest of my life. Gag me, why don't ya?? Piano Performance is out. You have to have a BM in Piano Performance first, which I won't. There isn't a general music graduate degree. So then I started thinking, what about Fine Arts? Computer Science? Math? Business? Graphic Design? I really like those subjects! But, I don't know that I could truly enjoy going to school for anything other than my first love... music. So my next idea... what about Music and Theology? They have music degrees at Bible schools. However, it would make sense that you graduate from Bible school before you go to Seminary, which I haven't. So the next idea. Go back for another undergrad degree? But then I must ask myself, why am I going back to school in the first place? For more personal growth? Because, frankly, as a musician, I came to school in the first place because of my own interests. Not to find a career. So, if I am going to go through the whole thing again, I might as well go for a field that would make some cash! But I don't really want to do that! I go to school because I enjoy it; I enjoy the learning, I enjoy the challenge, I enjoy the people. But I also need to make some money so that I can survive in this life and make it possible to do what I love...
I think I just had an epiphany. I think I'm nervous that I won't get hired to do that which I love (music, specifically leading worship), and therefore believe I must return to school to earn a more sought-after degree, thereby making it more probable to be hired. But is everything about the paper in the nice fancy frame? Can I just love God and love my family and my friends and just be simple ol' me? I think I can. I think I may. If I would let myself. If I would relinquish the control and just let God do His thing, I wouldn't need to worry about this at all. But why say 'if only'? Why not just do it? I think I will. Thanks, God, I needed this time =) I feel much better. Peace out.
My theory professor has decided that I should become a theoretician and that Dr. Nitkowski has a nice ring to it. Yea, I think so too =) But I can't do music theory for the rest of my life. Gag me, why don't ya?? Piano Performance is out. You have to have a BM in Piano Performance first, which I won't. There isn't a general music graduate degree. So then I started thinking, what about Fine Arts? Computer Science? Math? Business? Graphic Design? I really like those subjects! But, I don't know that I could truly enjoy going to school for anything other than my first love... music. So my next idea... what about Music and Theology? They have music degrees at Bible schools. However, it would make sense that you graduate from Bible school before you go to Seminary, which I haven't. So the next idea. Go back for another undergrad degree? But then I must ask myself, why am I going back to school in the first place? For more personal growth? Because, frankly, as a musician, I came to school in the first place because of my own interests. Not to find a career. So, if I am going to go through the whole thing again, I might as well go for a field that would make some cash! But I don't really want to do that! I go to school because I enjoy it; I enjoy the learning, I enjoy the challenge, I enjoy the people. But I also need to make some money so that I can survive in this life and make it possible to do what I love...
I think I just had an epiphany. I think I'm nervous that I won't get hired to do that which I love (music, specifically leading worship), and therefore believe I must return to school to earn a more sought-after degree, thereby making it more probable to be hired. But is everything about the paper in the nice fancy frame? Can I just love God and love my family and my friends and just be simple ol' me? I think I can. I think I may. If I would let myself. If I would relinquish the control and just let God do His thing, I wouldn't need to worry about this at all. But why say 'if only'? Why not just do it? I think I will. Thanks, God, I needed this time =) I feel much better. Peace out.