MARY & TIM PART 4 - wham, bam, and thank you, ma'am
WHICH ONE OF YOU HEROES IS EDITING MURPHY INTO MORE ARTICLES ON TV TROPES
"BACK FROM THE DEAD" WASN'T THERE LAST NIGHT; I KNOW IT'S GOTTA BE ONE OF YOU
COME OUT AND LET ME KISS YOU
dizzytara, here is your drawing! lmao.
Okay, I have had a little bit of a request, in that orangespaces thinks that this shit should be public. I think I... agree with her! I'm a little nervous, but I hope that I can perhaps share the "joy" (relatively speaking) with people who may not necessarily be on my f-list! This actually worked wonders for me last time, since when I did the women of awesome meme and made it public, the fantastic djmeowmix happened upon it and now we are friends! I doubt we would've met otherwise, so I'd say it's probably A Good Idea for me to start sharing the spams.
And share them I shall. Who's ready for part 4?
Last time, we met Steven's parents, and learned that his mother is especially mean when she wheedled Tim's presence out of Justine and Steven's wedding reception. Bitch! However, Mary offered to take Tim to her beach house for the weekend, since she said that she was considering having him do some work there anyway.
Not a lot of work got done at the beach house, though. There was mostly swimming, s'mores, and did I mention the bathing suits?
Upon returning home, Mary and Tim found Tim's mother unconscious on the floor! Oh no! Now her life hangs in the balance. Does she survive this completely random fall?
Let's find out!
OHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THAT LOOKS LIKE A "NO".
man, fuck funeral scenes.
Look at the woman at the very right of the shot. Doesn't it look like she's smiling a little bit?! lmao. I SMELL A CONSPIRACY.
awwww.
c'mon, man, you had to have seen this coming a little bit.
Your mom was three things:
a.) old
b.) excessively kind-hearted
c.) a mother
You didn't think that maybe, just maybe she'd be kicking the bucket here?
This is another part that's actually legitimately sad.
"Will she be cold?"
"No. Her body doesn't feel anything now."
"But she'll miss me... won't she?"
"She won't feel any pain or sadness... but she'll always love you."
I was really expecting the usual "she'll always be watching over you" shtick and was surprised to not see it happen here! In fact, it kind of makes me laugh a little bit. THAT'S not something I would want to hear if my mother died! She'll always love me? Fuck that! I want her to be watching me like a hawk from up in the goddamn clouds and saving me from car accidents and shit.
Um, then guess what happens? Justine comes over and ups the ante in her one-sided war with Mary.
"C'mon, Timmy," she says. Then, looking straight at Mary, she adds, "It's time to be with the family."
oooohoohoohoo! We've got shit brewin' here now, THAT'S for sure!
ouch.
But Mary, she's a trooper, and she just smiles at Tim, turns around, and leaves.
Well, now it's time for soup.
Soup and reading, just in case you'd forgotten reading's pivotal role in this film.
Except now we're looking at something; what are we looking at?
heeeey there, hot stuff.
Remember him?
Good with his hands?
Excited about fish?
Dead?
awwww no, maryyyyyy! don't cryyyyyyyyyy! come on, it's okay!
"FUCK YOU IT'S NOT OKAY MY HUSBAND IS DEAD AND I'M AN OLD LADY GARDENER-TYPE WHO TAKES CARE OF CATS."
well, confession time: I laugh during this scene. Every time. I don't even know why. I think maybe the soft piano music in the background just kills it for me.
Or maybe it's just the fact that she's crying into her soup.
And this immediately makes me think of Mak's "crying into my cornflakes" tag.
Man, I'm sorry, guys, this isn't very fun tonight so far! Trust me, though, it will get fun. PROTIP: that first trip to the beach wasn't the only trip.
The next day, Mary goes to check on Tim and his dad. I see an open box of pizza, so I'm willing to bet that it's... not going so well.
oh wow.
Mary blocks their view of the TV and is all, "k bitches. you two need a change of scenery."
Aw man, have you missed Dayle? 'cause I've missed Dayle. Here she is!
Just in case you couldn't see: DOG.
"Mary," Dayle says, "do you think you've gotten into this thing over your head?"
"Maybe. But I don't think so. I feel like what I'm doing is a good thing. And I'm just taking it one step at a time."
"Well... watch your step."
AWWWWW YEAH, GUESS WHERE WE ARE NOW
BACK AT THE BEACH HOUSE
Annnnd we're walking, we're walking...
"All I want is to be where she is," says Tim's dad. awww.
Oh, this may seem insignificant now, but just wait.
Now it's time for checkers! Tim's dad says that he always thought he'd be the one to go first. I actually thought that, too; I thought if anyone was gonna go in this movie, it would be him.
Mary gets all Counselor Troi and says that's it's not gonna hurt this much forever, that he and Tim are gonna be fiiiine.
Suddenly, Tim and his stunning bod.
SURPRISE!
Tim frowns pretty hardcore and forcefully sets his cup down on the counter.
And then he leaves!
HISSY FIT ALERT
Mary goes after him.
OOOOH TENSION
"Tim! Speak to me!" Mary pleads.
"YOU'RE ALWAYS TOUCHING MY DAD," Tim shouts. "I DON'T WANT YOU TOUCHING HIM."
> you're always touching my dad
seriously okay I could not make this better if I tried.
"He's sad, Tim! I'm comforting him!"
"I'm sad, too!"
"I know you are!"
"You don't comfort me!"
uh-oh.
are you sensing
what I'm sensing?
"Why don't you comfort me, Mary?
uh-oh
UH-OH
UH-OH
WHAT'S SHE DOING WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO
OH
oh
oh never mind, it's just hugging.
wait a minute
WAIT A MINUTE
WAIT A GODDAMN MINUTE IS HE-
WHAT IS HE-
IS HE SMELLING HER HAIR
OHHH
OHHHHHHHHH
OHHHHHHHHHHHH GOD
HOLY SHIT BRACE FOR FUCKING IMPACT
OH HOLY MOTHER OF GOD
HOUSTON WE HAVE IGNITION
GOD LOOK AT HER FUCKING SUCKING ON HIS FACE
MY EYES
MYYYYY EEEEYYYYEEEEESSSSSSS
ohhhh goddddd it just won't end
except then it does end because THIS IS A CONVENIENT TIME FOR THE DAD TO COME OUT. OHHHH but don't get your hopes up, he evidently sees nothing. so, you know, whew, I guess.
PASSIONATE GAZE-HOLDINGGGG
"We have to talk about what just happened privately. Just the two of us."
just the twoooo of us~
you and iiiii~
So they do this for a few more seconds and then Mary's like "jesus christ we have to go back into the house PLEASE LET'S GO BACK INTO THE HOUSE OKAY"
OHHHH MARY
IF YOU WEREN'T IN OVER YOUR HEAD BEFORE
YOU CERTAINLY ARE NOW!
Welcome to the morning after. This is nice. Nice and awkward, that is.
"I made a long-distance call this morning with my lawyer. Something I had to discuss with him, and uh. It involves you."
OHSHI-
lol j/k, the dad seriously doesn't know what occurred last night. So at least Mary's outta those woods.
tl;dr of this next conversation is that the dad and the mom talked a lot about what to do for Tim after they died. They saved up enough money to put him in a group home, and Mary initially looks horrified at the thought of a group home, but Tim's dad insists that it's a nice place and that he might be happy there, and he says that the happiest ones have family who come and visit them.
okay so that was only sort of tl;dr, here's the real tl;dr version: Tim's dad asks Mary to be Tim's guardian after he's gone. OH SHE'LL BE HIS GUARDIAN IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
But really she just asks about Justine, and Tim's dad says that he and Tim's mom agreed that Tim would be out of place among Justine and Steven and their inevitable family.
"It's just... you've got a way with him."
LMAO YEAH SHE DOES.
yeeeep.
welcome to your life
there's no turning back
something something something
man, I've listened to that song obsessively; you'd think I would have a better grasp on the lyrics by now.
Awwwwkwardddd.
"Okay," Tim says. "Talk."
Okay, my favorite part of this whole thing? The dad is sitting behind them THE WHOLE DAMN TIME. This guy's hearing must seriously be shot to hell.
"Last night... when I comforted you..."
ohhh, the "if you know what I mean" just slips itself right in here on its own, I'm pretty sure.
"...we started hugging each other..."
lmao, yeah, and?
"...in a different way."
Well, that's one way of putting it.
"And then we kissed."
There you go.
"The first part, where I put my arms around you,"
lmfaoooo
"that was comforting."
"The next part... when we kissed each other... that was something else."
Oh, that's for sure.
"I know that, Mary," Tim says with a liiiiitle hint of a smile on his face!
"That's something... married people do."
LMAO.
I AM NOT MAKING THESE LINES UP.
"Justine and Steven did it when they weren't married," Tim says.
"But they were planning to be married."
Still not makin' this up.
well I'd say that's an appropriate expression for this moment!
"Tim, we're friends, and I want us to be friends forever. But we can't be friends unless we promise each other never to do what we did last night again."
oh, ultimatums, what havoc won't you wreak?!
"Why?"
"Because it changes things I don't want changed."
Right, I guess you wouldn't want to be an almost-pedophile.
I don't know, though, I'd say Tim doesn't really seem to mind.
"Okay?" Mary asks him. He doesn't immediately respond. "Okay?"
"Okay."
aww.
Now here's a bunch of kids who look like comedy cannon fodder. If you're me and you're... a horrible person, that is.
Hmm. What's Mary doing here? This must be that group home that Tim's dad was talking about.
Looks... errrrrrrrrrrrrr... nice.
Aw man, she didn't bring the dog with her this time! WHERE IS THE DOG, MARY. YOU SAID THERE'D BE THE DOG.
I guess she didn't want the dog to see this sad kid right here.
:(
Aw shit, guys, is she's gonna cry into her soup again?
crrrrrawling innnn my skinnnnnn
Tim can't stay in this hellhole! Mary refrains from crying into her soup, but just barely, and then drives away.
Welcome back to the garden. Shit looks nice now.
Mary tells Tim about she and his dad's conversation, and Tim says it's already been arranged, that he'll live with Justine and Steven and "whatever kids they have by then".
;_;
Mary then tells Tim about the group home and the whole legal guardian thing.
"I went to see the place last week. If you live there, you could have your own life."
Her voice starts to break a little.
;_______;
"And I would be available whenever you needed me."
"...Would you know when I needed you? Or would I have to tell you?"
damn, shit got rough!
Well, what better way to make this less rough than to eat more soup?
Mary gets some soup (actually, it's stew) on her shirt (and she doesn't, lmao. there are no spots on her shirt that are visible anywhere so I always find that funny), and then apron times happen.
Justine and Tim's dad show up, and they're like "what's cooking lol?"
And Mary's like "I'm cooking lol!"
And then Justine looks less than enthused.
Mary makes some comment about how thanks to Tim, they're actually having stew instead of broth, and then Tim says,
"No, the truth is, I grew the vegetables, but Mary seasoned them just right, that's for sure."
YESSSSSSS OH THANK GOD, I was beginning to think we wouldn't get another one for this entire part!
Well, Justine's not down with this, and leaves the room in a huff.
"What's goin' on?" her dad asks. And then she flipppppps out.
"Could you please tell me what business Mary Horton has in my mother's kitchen, wearing my mother's apron?!"
"She's cookin' vegetables she and Tim grew together; what's the matter with you?! Mary's been a godsend to this family since your mother-"
"You know, I would really like to know just what goes on at the beach house."
oh man, IF ONLY YOU KNEW!
"Justine, what's gotten into you?" her father asks. "That woman in there has been like an angel of mercy to me and your brother. As far as I'm concerned, she's like a member of this family."
"She may be like one," Justine snaps back, "but the truth of the matter is she isn't one, and unless you're thinking about adopting her"
lmao sorry that line just gets me every time.
"I'd like her to get the hell out of my mother's apron!"
rrrrrrrow!
Well, anyway, Tim knocks on the door, says "excuse me" (remember that whole thing?) and says that dinner's ready.
Tim's dad says they'll be there in a minute, and then drops the bomb about the legal guardian thing.
And what a bomb it is for Justine. "Have you lost your mind? I'm his sister!"
Tim's dad says that it just isn't going to work with she and Steven having kids and careers. "You've gotta look at the big picture," he tells her.
"Why don't you look at the big picture?" she asks him.
"What does that mean?"
Justine pauses.
"Come with me."
oh my-
oh my god
OH MY GOD!
SHE
KNOWS!
They were smackin' lips right in front of the dad and he doesn't know, and Justine's barely had any screen time with Mary and she can tell what's really going on here?! LMFAO I LOVE. THIS. MOVIE!
Mary and Tim have started eating, as you can see, and Tim says some kind of Miss Manners anecdote that Mary gave him.
"Gee, I'd have never guessed that Mary even knew Miss Manners."
OHHHH THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS. YOU READY? 'CAUSE SHIT'S HITTIN' THE FAN NOW!
"But since we're talking about acceptable behavior," she continues, "why don't we bring my father into the 20th century and explain to him what your relationship with my brother is all about."
HOT DAMN, SHE REALLY DOES KNOW!
"Justine, that's enough!" her father yells.
"I'd be happy to," Mary suddenly says.
ohhhhhhhhhh shitttttttttttttttttttt
"My relationship with your brother is all about friendship."
oh. well that was kind of a letdown.
Now Justine really starts laying her cards out on the table.
"All right," she initially concedes. "I'll give you the benefit of the doubt."
This might be a good time to mention that it's Justine's goal in life to be a lawyer.
"I suppose there is a remote possibility that you actually don't see it yourself."
'k, you guys better brace for impact again. actually you know what, you guys just better get into a goddamn bomb shelter. I mean you guys have one... don't you?
well, nevertheless, hereeee ittt comeeeessss!
"You're attracted to my brother
whether you're willing to admit it or
not!"
Their dad is like "JUSTINE" and Mary gets up, throws her napkin down on the table, and says it's about time she left.
"I don't want you to go!" Tim declares.
"You know, Justine, you're not the only girl that likes me!"
"I know that, Timmy!"
"And I want you to call me Tim! You don't call Steven 'Stevie'!"
"TIMMY- ...Tim. I'm trying to protect you!"
"Because you think I'm a freak!"
"I DO NOT! IS THAT WHAT MARY TELLS YOU YOUR FAMILY THINKS?!"
"I never have and never would in my entire life say such a thing!" Mary says. "I'm sorry my friendship with your brother is so difficult for you. I respect how much you care for him."
"You have no idea about my feelings for my brother any more than you know anything about me. But maybe you should! You know, maybe you should know that all of my life I've done everything double! Once for me, and once for Tim, because he couldn't. And I've done it better than perfect, so there would be so much accomplishment and so much recognition that it would spill over onto him and he could shine, too! And it worked! Every time I did something good, you could see how it built him up!"
"But now I'm built, Justine! Just like you are. And I don't want to live in a center when Dad is gone. And I don't want to live with you, either!"
"I was gonna ask you, but I don't have a ring and I know I'm supposed to."
wh-
what the-
HE'S-
"I want to be Mary's husband and live with her in her house!
Mary Horton, would you marry me?"
oh
holy
shit
How's that for a cliffhanger?!
Time: 66:31/92 minutes
"that's for sure" count: 9
See you tomorrow for what's sure to be a thrrrrrrrrilling conclusion!
"BACK FROM THE DEAD" WASN'T THERE LAST NIGHT; I KNOW IT'S GOTTA BE ONE OF YOU
COME OUT AND LET ME KISS YOU
dizzytara, here is your drawing! lmao.
Okay, I have had a little bit of a request, in that orangespaces thinks that this shit should be public. I think I... agree with her! I'm a little nervous, but I hope that I can perhaps share the "joy" (relatively speaking) with people who may not necessarily be on my f-list! This actually worked wonders for me last time, since when I did the women of awesome meme and made it public, the fantastic djmeowmix happened upon it and now we are friends! I doubt we would've met otherwise, so I'd say it's probably A Good Idea for me to start sharing the spams.
And share them I shall. Who's ready for part 4?
Last time, we met Steven's parents, and learned that his mother is especially mean when she wheedled Tim's presence out of Justine and Steven's wedding reception. Bitch! However, Mary offered to take Tim to her beach house for the weekend, since she said that she was considering having him do some work there anyway.
Not a lot of work got done at the beach house, though. There was mostly swimming, s'mores, and did I mention the bathing suits?
Upon returning home, Mary and Tim found Tim's mother unconscious on the floor! Oh no! Now her life hangs in the balance. Does she survive this completely random fall?
Let's find out!
OHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THAT LOOKS LIKE A "NO".
man, fuck funeral scenes.
Look at the woman at the very right of the shot. Doesn't it look like she's smiling a little bit?! lmao. I SMELL A CONSPIRACY.
awwww.
c'mon, man, you had to have seen this coming a little bit.
Your mom was three things:
a.) old
b.) excessively kind-hearted
c.) a mother
You didn't think that maybe, just maybe she'd be kicking the bucket here?
This is another part that's actually legitimately sad.
"Will she be cold?"
"No. Her body doesn't feel anything now."
"But she'll miss me... won't she?"
"She won't feel any pain or sadness... but she'll always love you."
I was really expecting the usual "she'll always be watching over you" shtick and was surprised to not see it happen here! In fact, it kind of makes me laugh a little bit. THAT'S not something I would want to hear if my mother died! She'll always love me? Fuck that! I want her to be watching me like a hawk from up in the goddamn clouds and saving me from car accidents and shit.
Um, then guess what happens? Justine comes over and ups the ante in her one-sided war with Mary.
"C'mon, Timmy," she says. Then, looking straight at Mary, she adds, "It's time to be with the family."
oooohoohoohoo! We've got shit brewin' here now, THAT'S for sure!
ouch.
But Mary, she's a trooper, and she just smiles at Tim, turns around, and leaves.
Well, now it's time for soup.
Soup and reading, just in case you'd forgotten reading's pivotal role in this film.
Except now we're looking at something; what are we looking at?
heeeey there, hot stuff.
Remember him?
Good with his hands?
Excited about fish?
Dead?
awwww no, maryyyyyy! don't cryyyyyyyyyy! come on, it's okay!
"FUCK YOU IT'S NOT OKAY MY HUSBAND IS DEAD AND I'M AN OLD LADY GARDENER-TYPE WHO TAKES CARE OF CATS."
well, confession time: I laugh during this scene. Every time. I don't even know why. I think maybe the soft piano music in the background just kills it for me.
Or maybe it's just the fact that she's crying into her soup.
And this immediately makes me think of Mak's "crying into my cornflakes" tag.
Man, I'm sorry, guys, this isn't very fun tonight so far! Trust me, though, it will get fun. PROTIP: that first trip to the beach wasn't the only trip.
The next day, Mary goes to check on Tim and his dad. I see an open box of pizza, so I'm willing to bet that it's... not going so well.
oh wow.
Mary blocks their view of the TV and is all, "k bitches. you two need a change of scenery."
Aw man, have you missed Dayle? 'cause I've missed Dayle. Here she is!
Just in case you couldn't see: DOG.
"Mary," Dayle says, "do you think you've gotten into this thing over your head?"
"Maybe. But I don't think so. I feel like what I'm doing is a good thing. And I'm just taking it one step at a time."
"Well... watch your step."
AWWWWW YEAH, GUESS WHERE WE ARE NOW
BACK AT THE BEACH HOUSE
Annnnd we're walking, we're walking...
"All I want is to be where she is," says Tim's dad. awww.
Oh, this may seem insignificant now, but just wait.
Now it's time for checkers! Tim's dad says that he always thought he'd be the one to go first. I actually thought that, too; I thought if anyone was gonna go in this movie, it would be him.
Mary gets all Counselor Troi and says that's it's not gonna hurt this much forever, that he and Tim are gonna be fiiiine.
Suddenly, Tim and his stunning bod.
SURPRISE!
Tim frowns pretty hardcore and forcefully sets his cup down on the counter.
And then he leaves!
HISSY FIT ALERT
Mary goes after him.
OOOOH TENSION
"Tim! Speak to me!" Mary pleads.
"YOU'RE ALWAYS TOUCHING MY DAD," Tim shouts. "I DON'T WANT YOU TOUCHING HIM."
> you're always touching my dad
seriously okay I could not make this better if I tried.
"He's sad, Tim! I'm comforting him!"
"I'm sad, too!"
"I know you are!"
"You don't comfort me!"
uh-oh.
are you sensing
what I'm sensing?
"Why don't you comfort me, Mary?
uh-oh
UH-OH
UH-OH
WHAT'S SHE DOING WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO
OH
oh
oh never mind, it's just hugging.
wait a minute
WAIT A MINUTE
WAIT A GODDAMN MINUTE IS HE-
WHAT IS HE-
IS HE SMELLING HER HAIR
OHHH
OHHHHHHHHH
OHHHHHHHHHHHH GOD
HOLY SHIT BRACE FOR FUCKING IMPACT
OH HOLY MOTHER OF GOD
HOUSTON WE HAVE IGNITION
GOD LOOK AT HER FUCKING SUCKING ON HIS FACE
MY EYES
MYYYYY EEEEYYYYEEEEESSSSSSS
ohhhh goddddd it just won't end
except then it does end because THIS IS A CONVENIENT TIME FOR THE DAD TO COME OUT. OHHHH but don't get your hopes up, he evidently sees nothing. so, you know, whew, I guess.
PASSIONATE GAZE-HOLDINGGGG
"We have to talk about what just happened privately. Just the two of us."
just the twoooo of us~
you and iiiii~
So they do this for a few more seconds and then Mary's like "jesus christ we have to go back into the house PLEASE LET'S GO BACK INTO THE HOUSE OKAY"
OHHHH MARY
IF YOU WEREN'T IN OVER YOUR HEAD BEFORE
YOU CERTAINLY ARE NOW!
Welcome to the morning after. This is nice. Nice and awkward, that is.
"I made a long-distance call this morning with my lawyer. Something I had to discuss with him, and uh. It involves you."
OHSHI-
lol j/k, the dad seriously doesn't know what occurred last night. So at least Mary's outta those woods.
tl;dr of this next conversation is that the dad and the mom talked a lot about what to do for Tim after they died. They saved up enough money to put him in a group home, and Mary initially looks horrified at the thought of a group home, but Tim's dad insists that it's a nice place and that he might be happy there, and he says that the happiest ones have family who come and visit them.
okay so that was only sort of tl;dr, here's the real tl;dr version: Tim's dad asks Mary to be Tim's guardian after he's gone. OH SHE'LL BE HIS GUARDIAN IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
But really she just asks about Justine, and Tim's dad says that he and Tim's mom agreed that Tim would be out of place among Justine and Steven and their inevitable family.
"It's just... you've got a way with him."
LMAO YEAH SHE DOES.
yeeeep.
welcome to your life
there's no turning back
something something something
man, I've listened to that song obsessively; you'd think I would have a better grasp on the lyrics by now.
Awwwwkwardddd.
"Okay," Tim says. "Talk."
Okay, my favorite part of this whole thing? The dad is sitting behind them THE WHOLE DAMN TIME. This guy's hearing must seriously be shot to hell.
"Last night... when I comforted you..."
ohhh, the "if you know what I mean" just slips itself right in here on its own, I'm pretty sure.
"...we started hugging each other..."
lmao, yeah, and?
"...in a different way."
Well, that's one way of putting it.
"And then we kissed."
There you go.
"The first part, where I put my arms around you,"
lmfaoooo
"that was comforting."
"The next part... when we kissed each other... that was something else."
Oh, that's for sure.
"I know that, Mary," Tim says with a liiiiitle hint of a smile on his face!
"That's something... married people do."
LMAO.
I AM NOT MAKING THESE LINES UP.
"Justine and Steven did it when they weren't married," Tim says.
"But they were planning to be married."
Still not makin' this up.
well I'd say that's an appropriate expression for this moment!
"Tim, we're friends, and I want us to be friends forever. But we can't be friends unless we promise each other never to do what we did last night again."
oh, ultimatums, what havoc won't you wreak?!
"Why?"
"Because it changes things I don't want changed."
Right, I guess you wouldn't want to be an almost-pedophile.
I don't know, though, I'd say Tim doesn't really seem to mind.
"Okay?" Mary asks him. He doesn't immediately respond. "Okay?"
"Okay."
aww.
Now here's a bunch of kids who look like comedy cannon fodder. If you're me and you're... a horrible person, that is.
Hmm. What's Mary doing here? This must be that group home that Tim's dad was talking about.
Looks... errrrrrrrrrrrrr... nice.
Aw man, she didn't bring the dog with her this time! WHERE IS THE DOG, MARY. YOU SAID THERE'D BE THE DOG.
I guess she didn't want the dog to see this sad kid right here.
:(
Aw shit, guys, is she's gonna cry into her soup again?
crrrrrawling innnn my skinnnnnn
Tim can't stay in this hellhole! Mary refrains from crying into her soup, but just barely, and then drives away.
Welcome back to the garden. Shit looks nice now.
Mary tells Tim about she and his dad's conversation, and Tim says it's already been arranged, that he'll live with Justine and Steven and "whatever kids they have by then".
;_;
Mary then tells Tim about the group home and the whole legal guardian thing.
"I went to see the place last week. If you live there, you could have your own life."
Her voice starts to break a little.
;_______;
"And I would be available whenever you needed me."
"...Would you know when I needed you? Or would I have to tell you?"
damn, shit got rough!
Well, what better way to make this less rough than to eat more soup?
Mary gets some soup (actually, it's stew) on her shirt (and she doesn't, lmao. there are no spots on her shirt that are visible anywhere so I always find that funny), and then apron times happen.
Justine and Tim's dad show up, and they're like "what's cooking lol?"
And Mary's like "I'm cooking lol!"
And then Justine looks less than enthused.
Mary makes some comment about how thanks to Tim, they're actually having stew instead of broth, and then Tim says,
"No, the truth is, I grew the vegetables, but Mary seasoned them just right, that's for sure."
YESSSSSSS OH THANK GOD, I was beginning to think we wouldn't get another one for this entire part!
Well, Justine's not down with this, and leaves the room in a huff.
"What's goin' on?" her dad asks. And then she flipppppps out.
"Could you please tell me what business Mary Horton has in my mother's kitchen, wearing my mother's apron?!"
"She's cookin' vegetables she and Tim grew together; what's the matter with you?! Mary's been a godsend to this family since your mother-"
"You know, I would really like to know just what goes on at the beach house."
oh man, IF ONLY YOU KNEW!
"Justine, what's gotten into you?" her father asks. "That woman in there has been like an angel of mercy to me and your brother. As far as I'm concerned, she's like a member of this family."
"She may be like one," Justine snaps back, "but the truth of the matter is she isn't one, and unless you're thinking about adopting her"
lmao sorry that line just gets me every time.
"I'd like her to get the hell out of my mother's apron!"
rrrrrrrow!
Well, anyway, Tim knocks on the door, says "excuse me" (remember that whole thing?) and says that dinner's ready.
Tim's dad says they'll be there in a minute, and then drops the bomb about the legal guardian thing.
And what a bomb it is for Justine. "Have you lost your mind? I'm his sister!"
Tim's dad says that it just isn't going to work with she and Steven having kids and careers. "You've gotta look at the big picture," he tells her.
"Why don't you look at the big picture?" she asks him.
"What does that mean?"
Justine pauses.
"Come with me."
oh my-
oh my god
OH MY GOD!
SHE
KNOWS!
They were smackin' lips right in front of the dad and he doesn't know, and Justine's barely had any screen time with Mary and she can tell what's really going on here?! LMFAO I LOVE. THIS. MOVIE!
Mary and Tim have started eating, as you can see, and Tim says some kind of Miss Manners anecdote that Mary gave him.
"Gee, I'd have never guessed that Mary even knew Miss Manners."
OHHHH THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS. YOU READY? 'CAUSE SHIT'S HITTIN' THE FAN NOW!
"But since we're talking about acceptable behavior," she continues, "why don't we bring my father into the 20th century and explain to him what your relationship with my brother is all about."
HOT DAMN, SHE REALLY DOES KNOW!
"Justine, that's enough!" her father yells.
"I'd be happy to," Mary suddenly says.
ohhhhhhhhhh shitttttttttttttttttttt
"My relationship with your brother is all about friendship."
oh. well that was kind of a letdown.
Now Justine really starts laying her cards out on the table.
"All right," she initially concedes. "I'll give you the benefit of the doubt."
This might be a good time to mention that it's Justine's goal in life to be a lawyer.
"I suppose there is a remote possibility that you actually don't see it yourself."
'k, you guys better brace for impact again. actually you know what, you guys just better get into a goddamn bomb shelter. I mean you guys have one... don't you?
well, nevertheless, hereeee ittt comeeeessss!
"You're attracted to my brother
whether you're willing to admit it or
not!"
Their dad is like "JUSTINE" and Mary gets up, throws her napkin down on the table, and says it's about time she left.
"I don't want you to go!" Tim declares.
"You know, Justine, you're not the only girl that likes me!"
"I know that, Timmy!"
"And I want you to call me Tim! You don't call Steven 'Stevie'!"
"TIMMY- ...Tim. I'm trying to protect you!"
"Because you think I'm a freak!"
"I DO NOT! IS THAT WHAT MARY TELLS YOU YOUR FAMILY THINKS?!"
"I never have and never would in my entire life say such a thing!" Mary says. "I'm sorry my friendship with your brother is so difficult for you. I respect how much you care for him."
"You have no idea about my feelings for my brother any more than you know anything about me. But maybe you should! You know, maybe you should know that all of my life I've done everything double! Once for me, and once for Tim, because he couldn't. And I've done it better than perfect, so there would be so much accomplishment and so much recognition that it would spill over onto him and he could shine, too! And it worked! Every time I did something good, you could see how it built him up!"
"But now I'm built, Justine! Just like you are. And I don't want to live in a center when Dad is gone. And I don't want to live with you, either!"
"I was gonna ask you, but I don't have a ring and I know I'm supposed to."
wh-
what the-
HE'S-
"I want to be Mary's husband and live with her in her house!
Mary Horton, would you marry me?"
oh
holy
shit
How's that for a cliffhanger?!
Time: 66:31/92 minutes
"that's for sure" count: 9
See you tomorrow for what's sure to be a thrrrrrrrrilling conclusion!