ehhh
not much to say really my hand is starting to do some weird numbing thing. my thumb index and middle finger are all numb and it wakes me up at night with them on fire and the whole arm is numb. everyone is pointing the finger to my new medince paxil which i think im slowly satarting to notice. im a litlle distracted at the moment i think its the paxil. i mean a lot of things are going through my head or were and now that im writing im able to write again, talking about the momnent in which weird thoughts drifted through my head they werent weird they were some good points but wouldnt make sense if i just started to jot them down here. anyways i feel a little like things arent making as big of a deal to me. but i shouldnt really say that if its important it still hits me. both my aunts arent doing so good my dads sister they found another tumor in her stomach. my moms sister got radiation burns all over her side. its like a super hanius sunburn but cooked all the skin to a purple color. and what sucks now that im older i really care about them. i mean my family is all i really have and its all that we are and seeing everyone in the bad shape that they are is just some times a little overwhelming. now that everyones sick weve all become more of a family then before, i mean we were a family but we all had our sides, my dads side and my moms side now that everyone is sick we are one again and everyone realizes now how much we missed out on. when i think about it id like to be able to imagine another 20 years of family outings that ive come to enjoy so much. but the reality of is that there will soon be vacinces in the group and it saddens me. it does it saddens me im really going to miss them i really do love my family flaws and all.