Powerless and apathetic to do what I want to do.
It's been awhile since I've included song lyrics, or hell even been remotely serious in this thing, but guess what? That's right, you'll get both this round.
First the lyrics:
I want to hurt you and don't know why
Though i know it's not like me
I can not help it, though I try to keep you away
All this time i thought I knew who you were
But this time all your words were just lies for demise
And your thoughts were found unpure
So when push comes to shove i found reasons
To not work it out or relate
And get off on the fear that i get when your near
And the problems that I create
This time, I think you'll finally see
This time, I will not break
This time, I'm smart enough to know
There is only so much I'll take
This time, I'm gonna make change
This time, you're in my way
This time, I will not play the same head trip on me game that you play
Unresolved situations esculate
Inside something brings me to push
To find out what you can take
When we run out of love and change seasons
With our lives together at stake
I'm aware of tears that I give when your near
And the confusion that I make
[Chorus]
I want to hurt you and dont know why
I can not help it, though I try to keep you away
[Chorus]
I want to hurt you
I don't want to lie
"This Time"-Depswa
Now, have you ever had a person, or even persons, that in the past you looked up to, respected, and strived to impress or make happy? And then a few years later, see that they had totally changed into something that you totally don't recognize, or even want to associate with. Even though that is the case, you still force yourself to see them, in the hopes that maybe, just maybe they might show just a little inkling of what made you stand in such awe previously?
Then just to make matters worse, you saw the entire degredation happen in front of you, and you wanted to do something, anything to prevent them from going down that road. And just as you would go to do something to do just that, you stopped, to let them learn on their own. Continuously until it was too late.
After all this has happened, you still manage to make time for this person, and come away disappointed every time. Saddened at what once was and never will be again. When you actually are trying to get your life on track, and everyone else is slipping away.
Well, i can apply this to many many people I know in reference to me. I won't mention names, because as I said, I am still compelled to socialize and be there for these people, hoping, just hoping that they'll realize what happened to them. I mean i've seen some give up their entire morality. Some gave up on their faith, some jsut gave up.
But I guess from their point of view, they don't see it this way. They see it as growing into their "own person" and "having fun". If there's anything I've learned in my life so far, it's that you can only be your "own person" so much if you want to have anything in life. (But what about happiness? At least I still have this!) To that I say, does happiness keep your nourishment on the table. Does happiness provide shelter? Does happiness provide anything, but a sense of self satisfaction that is not neccessary to life? I think not. Suck it up and conform, or make or do something so important that you can be your "own person" without reprecussion. As far as "having fun" Life is not fun. Look at almost every other living being on the planet. from plant to insect to animal. Very few, if any do things, just for "fun". Most of every moment of life is a struggle to survive.
Not so for us humans however. We MUST be comfortable, and "happy" Live without cable tv? P'SHAW! No car? How can you live like THAT? We have this insatiable urge to be lazy. Yet somehow we are the dominant species on this planet. Ironic...
I know I am being very hypocritical here. but at least I admit to it. That doesn't really make it better, but oh well.
I guess I just felt like babbling on there, and hopefully it comes across as sensible, or at least readable...it's like 3 am right now.
and I give you more song lyrics now, just because.
You know it wasn't so long ago
When things weren't as we know
Back when I was younger and had a hunger
For all the things I didn't know
And I remember the day when
I went out to play
And I bird flew down to my hand
Didn't want to leave and
When I asked to keep
I remember my dad said
Yeah son let it go away
Hope that it comes back
Here to you some day
Just let it go away
And if it comes back
you know it's here to stay
Since then I've gone through changes
Since then I've gone through life
Since then I found me a beautiful woman
I thought could be my wife
She said she really loves me
But she said she couldn't stay
She said I've got to go my love
To find things my own way
So I let her go away
Hope that she comes back
Here to me some day
I let her go away
And if she comes back
I know she's here to stay
There's not always reasons for the things in life
But it's comforting to know within your mind
If you love something enough
And you've done all that you can
If there's one thing I have known and learned first hand
Sometimes you have to just let it go away
Hope that it comes back
Here to you some day
Just let it go away
And if it comes back
You know it's here to stay
Let it go away
And if it comes back
You know it's here to stay
Let it go
"Let it Go"-Depswa
Guess who likes his new cd?
First the lyrics:
I want to hurt you and don't know why
Though i know it's not like me
I can not help it, though I try to keep you away
All this time i thought I knew who you were
But this time all your words were just lies for demise
And your thoughts were found unpure
So when push comes to shove i found reasons
To not work it out or relate
And get off on the fear that i get when your near
And the problems that I create
This time, I think you'll finally see
This time, I will not break
This time, I'm smart enough to know
There is only so much I'll take
This time, I'm gonna make change
This time, you're in my way
This time, I will not play the same head trip on me game that you play
Unresolved situations esculate
Inside something brings me to push
To find out what you can take
When we run out of love and change seasons
With our lives together at stake
I'm aware of tears that I give when your near
And the confusion that I make
[Chorus]
I want to hurt you and dont know why
I can not help it, though I try to keep you away
[Chorus]
I want to hurt you
I don't want to lie
"This Time"-Depswa
Now, have you ever had a person, or even persons, that in the past you looked up to, respected, and strived to impress or make happy? And then a few years later, see that they had totally changed into something that you totally don't recognize, or even want to associate with. Even though that is the case, you still force yourself to see them, in the hopes that maybe, just maybe they might show just a little inkling of what made you stand in such awe previously?
Then just to make matters worse, you saw the entire degredation happen in front of you, and you wanted to do something, anything to prevent them from going down that road. And just as you would go to do something to do just that, you stopped, to let them learn on their own. Continuously until it was too late.
After all this has happened, you still manage to make time for this person, and come away disappointed every time. Saddened at what once was and never will be again. When you actually are trying to get your life on track, and everyone else is slipping away.
Well, i can apply this to many many people I know in reference to me. I won't mention names, because as I said, I am still compelled to socialize and be there for these people, hoping, just hoping that they'll realize what happened to them. I mean i've seen some give up their entire morality. Some gave up on their faith, some jsut gave up.
But I guess from their point of view, they don't see it this way. They see it as growing into their "own person" and "having fun". If there's anything I've learned in my life so far, it's that you can only be your "own person" so much if you want to have anything in life. (But what about happiness? At least I still have this!) To that I say, does happiness keep your nourishment on the table. Does happiness provide shelter? Does happiness provide anything, but a sense of self satisfaction that is not neccessary to life? I think not. Suck it up and conform, or make or do something so important that you can be your "own person" without reprecussion. As far as "having fun" Life is not fun. Look at almost every other living being on the planet. from plant to insect to animal. Very few, if any do things, just for "fun". Most of every moment of life is a struggle to survive.
Not so for us humans however. We MUST be comfortable, and "happy" Live without cable tv? P'SHAW! No car? How can you live like THAT? We have this insatiable urge to be lazy. Yet somehow we are the dominant species on this planet. Ironic...
I know I am being very hypocritical here. but at least I admit to it. That doesn't really make it better, but oh well.
I guess I just felt like babbling on there, and hopefully it comes across as sensible, or at least readable...it's like 3 am right now.
and I give you more song lyrics now, just because.
You know it wasn't so long ago
When things weren't as we know
Back when I was younger and had a hunger
For all the things I didn't know
And I remember the day when
I went out to play
And I bird flew down to my hand
Didn't want to leave and
When I asked to keep
I remember my dad said
Yeah son let it go away
Hope that it comes back
Here to you some day
Just let it go away
And if it comes back
you know it's here to stay
Since then I've gone through changes
Since then I've gone through life
Since then I found me a beautiful woman
I thought could be my wife
She said she really loves me
But she said she couldn't stay
She said I've got to go my love
To find things my own way
So I let her go away
Hope that she comes back
Here to me some day
I let her go away
And if she comes back
I know she's here to stay
There's not always reasons for the things in life
But it's comforting to know within your mind
If you love something enough
And you've done all that you can
If there's one thing I have known and learned first hand
Sometimes you have to just let it go away
Hope that it comes back
Here to you some day
Just let it go away
And if it comes back
You know it's here to stay
Let it go away
And if it comes back
You know it's here to stay
Let it go
"Let it Go"-Depswa
Guess who likes his new cd?