(no subject)
Amongst the sea school work and client work, I suddenly got this insane desire to write a stream consciousness where I just put my pencil to paper and write none stop, without thinking, for a couple minutes and this is what came out.
She looked at him furiously, hands trembling with anger. "You know when your emotions get so intense and so overwhelming that you just can't take it anymore and all you want to do is scream? But you can't scream because if you do, someone might come running, breaking down the door and thinking you are being attacked and how awkward would that be? Oh sorry, I am just screaming because I can't handle the thing that is my life right now but thanks for the thought! On the other hand, what if you scream and no one comes running? What if we now live in a world where no one investigates a blood curdling scream? That they are willing to turn away from a rape or murder and just walk away. So I can't scream. I can't scream because either way I can't handle the outcome. So what the hell am I supposed to do? Do you really think you can help me?
"Some days I have to fight my way out of the festering twists of chaos that is my mind just to function as a normal human being. And I look at everyone with their own problems and feel completely alone, not because I am the only one with issues but because everyone has to deal with their own issues and can't help me with mine. We are all swimming, trying to find a pocket of air and we are all too desperate to find it for someone else." She took a deep breath and slowly crumpled to the ground.
He looked down on her for a moment before sliding down the wall beside her.
She looked at him furiously, hands trembling with anger. "You know when your emotions get so intense and so overwhelming that you just can't take it anymore and all you want to do is scream? But you can't scream because if you do, someone might come running, breaking down the door and thinking you are being attacked and how awkward would that be? Oh sorry, I am just screaming because I can't handle the thing that is my life right now but thanks for the thought! On the other hand, what if you scream and no one comes running? What if we now live in a world where no one investigates a blood curdling scream? That they are willing to turn away from a rape or murder and just walk away. So I can't scream. I can't scream because either way I can't handle the outcome. So what the hell am I supposed to do? Do you really think you can help me?
"Some days I have to fight my way out of the festering twists of chaos that is my mind just to function as a normal human being. And I look at everyone with their own problems and feel completely alone, not because I am the only one with issues but because everyone has to deal with their own issues and can't help me with mine. We are all swimming, trying to find a pocket of air and we are all too desperate to find it for someone else." She took a deep breath and slowly crumpled to the ground.
He looked down on her for a moment before sliding down the wall beside her.