I Wish I Was the Moon Tonight
I'm really tired so here’s what went down today: I got a call on my cell waking me up from my mom’s cellphone. The person who was on the phone was not my mom. It was a random stranger who had found my mom unconscious in our car IN A DITCH. She had been trying everyone in mom’s cell phone to let them know she had been in an accident. I guess I was the only one to pick up. She handed me off to the police who asked… something and old me she was going to our local hospital.
I called my grandma and told her what happened. She came over and we went to the hospital to find out what was what. The doctor said that she was awake and resting and it sounded like she didn’t want to see us. I only the nurse worded it to sound like she couldn’t have visitors and he made it sound like she didn’t want any. He refused to tell us what was wrong or what had happened.
I had awful issues with my stomach and took some pills before we left. By the time we were home they had made me very sleepy. I called usakeh to let her know what was going on because she makes everything bad wonderful. We spoke for a bit and I went to sleep around 3. I woke up some time around 5 something. I went to the fridge to get a cucumber. Maybe. It could have been a part of the odd dream I had before waking up. Anyway I opened the veggie crisper and what did I find? Why two beers of course! Which was very upsetting as you might imagine. For those who don’t know my mom is in A.A. and has been almost all my life. She slipped up when I was 12. ( See my last entry.)The beers were the small canned kind so I think she must have had to buy the pack. I called grandma to let her know and became paranoid and decided to tear the house apart to find more booze. Grandma told me she had spoken with someone at the sheriff’s office and that the car had been towed. Apparently the person she spoke with said the car was not drivable. I guess mom also called her and claimed that she was going to her friend Teresa’s house got lost and drove into the ditch on purpose. I would like to mention that I do not trust her friend and a few days ago I’m pretty sure she took mom to go buy drugs.
I was just starting to feel guilty and crazy when I found a thank you card box. I have been looking for our thank you cards so that I can send usakeh ‘s mom a proper thank you for letting me stay with them. There were no thank you cards in the box. Instead there was a baggie of pot, a pipe of some kind, rolling papers, and something else I do not know the name of. Again I want people to know I have no problem with marijuana. I think it should be as legal alcohol, but just like alcohol is not something my mother, and addict, should use.
I then spent some more time searching for god knows what else. I found a bottle of Lyrica pills in my baby box. I have no idea why they were there as my baby stuff is kinda heavy and on the top shelf of mom’s closet. Also Lyrica is a prescription for her fibromielga and not addictive. Though I know she gets loopy on it. So that was odd. I found the vintage swimmers cap I got her, a wallet, and the pink pashmina scarf she got from my grandma a few Christmas ago. I felt that I was liberating them from a closet where I’m pretty sure she’s been smoking pot in. mainly because I found sticks of incense int here as well and she has been burning it. I know because I keep telling her to stop burning the stuff. I’m allergic to smoke and sensitive to smells. Incense is my worst nightmare. Any way I feel justified in liberating stuff because she clearly doesn’t care about it and she’s a fucking bitch. The latter was used more often in my decision making process.
Mom ended up calling me and I got so upset when I heard her voice I hung up. I felt bad and called her back. She was kind of a bitch and ranted about having to stay at the hospital and told me the same lie she told grandma. She got mad when I mentioned she sounded angry and hung up on me. She called me back demanding grandma’s cell number but I told her I was on the line with theexecutioner who is a life saver. She, usakeh and dragonflylady77 have made me feel so much better about my life and have taken such amazing care of me. I love them all to bits. They are angels classified as Charlie’s. You know I’m ok when I make an Anya joke.
I called her back asking what she wanted and she demanded her friend’s number. The same friend she claimed to be going to see and who I find sleazy and gives me the wiggins See more Buffy stuff! It looks like I will make it through this after all. They met in this thing called DBT which mom went to after overdosing on her pain meds. The women in the group all have some form of drug addiction issues. From what mom said most of them have heroin issues. In groups like this you are not supposed to befriend your fellow members because you are both highly toxic and can lead each other astray. So I said no and told her she shouldn’t be friends with her. This all started after they started to hang out a lot. Shes not good for my mom and I don’t think mom is good for her. Mom called me a fucking bitch and ranted at me. In my mind all I could think was “ you do relize your asking me for a favor right? “ I don’t know about you but being berated does not makeme feel like helping people out. She hung up on me and I just sat there.
I started crying really bad and it was awful. It was the only time I have cried all day and it felt good after a while. I was still really sad and upset so I tried cazlling my grandma. I got a busy sign on the phone so I did something kind of stuopid and called my grandma Lenora.
I love my grandma Leonor very much and she is super sweet. She’s my other grandmothers complete opposite in almost every way. She’s my father’s mother in case anyone was interested. Anyway she is a good deal older then my grandma and is very … delicate. She’s not good with getting bad news. Or at least I think so. I don’t know that’s just how we treat her maybe she really is good at it and we underestimate her. The point is we tend to not let her known anything even slightly unhappy about our lives. I ended up just telling her everything the best way I knew how. She is hard of hearing and still speaks mostly Spanish (She is from Mexico). She was very sweet and I hope I didn’t upset her too much. I promised to call tomorrow and to send her; yet again might I add our address and phone number. I had to let her go because someone kept calling me. It turns out it was my mother. I tried calling back but she didn’t pick up. Which is fine with me.
SO that’s what’s been going on with me today. What are you guys up to?
I called my grandma and told her what happened. She came over and we went to the hospital to find out what was what. The doctor said that she was awake and resting and it sounded like she didn’t want to see us. I only the nurse worded it to sound like she couldn’t have visitors and he made it sound like she didn’t want any. He refused to tell us what was wrong or what had happened.
I had awful issues with my stomach and took some pills before we left. By the time we were home they had made me very sleepy. I called usakeh to let her know what was going on because she makes everything bad wonderful. We spoke for a bit and I went to sleep around 3. I woke up some time around 5 something. I went to the fridge to get a cucumber. Maybe. It could have been a part of the odd dream I had before waking up. Anyway I opened the veggie crisper and what did I find? Why two beers of course! Which was very upsetting as you might imagine. For those who don’t know my mom is in A.A. and has been almost all my life. She slipped up when I was 12. ( See my last entry.)The beers were the small canned kind so I think she must have had to buy the pack. I called grandma to let her know and became paranoid and decided to tear the house apart to find more booze. Grandma told me she had spoken with someone at the sheriff’s office and that the car had been towed. Apparently the person she spoke with said the car was not drivable. I guess mom also called her and claimed that she was going to her friend Teresa’s house got lost and drove into the ditch on purpose. I would like to mention that I do not trust her friend and a few days ago I’m pretty sure she took mom to go buy drugs.
I was just starting to feel guilty and crazy when I found a thank you card box. I have been looking for our thank you cards so that I can send usakeh ‘s mom a proper thank you for letting me stay with them. There were no thank you cards in the box. Instead there was a baggie of pot, a pipe of some kind, rolling papers, and something else I do not know the name of. Again I want people to know I have no problem with marijuana. I think it should be as legal alcohol, but just like alcohol is not something my mother, and addict, should use.
I then spent some more time searching for god knows what else. I found a bottle of Lyrica pills in my baby box. I have no idea why they were there as my baby stuff is kinda heavy and on the top shelf of mom’s closet. Also Lyrica is a prescription for her fibromielga and not addictive. Though I know she gets loopy on it. So that was odd. I found the vintage swimmers cap I got her, a wallet, and the pink pashmina scarf she got from my grandma a few Christmas ago. I felt that I was liberating them from a closet where I’m pretty sure she’s been smoking pot in. mainly because I found sticks of incense int here as well and she has been burning it. I know because I keep telling her to stop burning the stuff. I’m allergic to smoke and sensitive to smells. Incense is my worst nightmare. Any way I feel justified in liberating stuff because she clearly doesn’t care about it and she’s a fucking bitch. The latter was used more often in my decision making process.
Mom ended up calling me and I got so upset when I heard her voice I hung up. I felt bad and called her back. She was kind of a bitch and ranted about having to stay at the hospital and told me the same lie she told grandma. She got mad when I mentioned she sounded angry and hung up on me. She called me back demanding grandma’s cell number but I told her I was on the line with theexecutioner who is a life saver. She, usakeh and dragonflylady77 have made me feel so much better about my life and have taken such amazing care of me. I love them all to bits. They are angels classified as Charlie’s. You know I’m ok when I make an Anya joke.
I called her back asking what she wanted and she demanded her friend’s number. The same friend she claimed to be going to see and who I find sleazy and gives me the wiggins See more Buffy stuff! It looks like I will make it through this after all. They met in this thing called DBT which mom went to after overdosing on her pain meds. The women in the group all have some form of drug addiction issues. From what mom said most of them have heroin issues. In groups like this you are not supposed to befriend your fellow members because you are both highly toxic and can lead each other astray. So I said no and told her she shouldn’t be friends with her. This all started after they started to hang out a lot. Shes not good for my mom and I don’t think mom is good for her. Mom called me a fucking bitch and ranted at me. In my mind all I could think was “ you do relize your asking me for a favor right? “ I don’t know about you but being berated does not makeme feel like helping people out. She hung up on me and I just sat there.
I started crying really bad and it was awful. It was the only time I have cried all day and it felt good after a while. I was still really sad and upset so I tried cazlling my grandma. I got a busy sign on the phone so I did something kind of stuopid and called my grandma Lenora.
I love my grandma Leonor very much and she is super sweet. She’s my other grandmothers complete opposite in almost every way. She’s my father’s mother in case anyone was interested. Anyway she is a good deal older then my grandma and is very … delicate. She’s not good with getting bad news. Or at least I think so. I don’t know that’s just how we treat her maybe she really is good at it and we underestimate her. The point is we tend to not let her known anything even slightly unhappy about our lives. I ended up just telling her everything the best way I knew how. She is hard of hearing and still speaks mostly Spanish (She is from Mexico). She was very sweet and I hope I didn’t upset her too much. I promised to call tomorrow and to send her; yet again might I add our address and phone number. I had to let her go because someone kept calling me. It turns out it was my mother. I tried calling back but she didn’t pick up. Which is fine with me.
SO that’s what’s been going on with me today. What are you guys up to?