Baby, You're My Forever Girl!
I have been very distant lately but the one person who seems to make it all better is the lovely usakeh. To say that she has been my rock would not do her justice. She’s so much cooler than a rock. Rocks are pointy and are really no fun to play with. I mean sure you can throw them at people but that gets boring after a while. Not that rocks have anything to do with this post. This post is about how wonderful Susanna (usakeh) is. How kind, funny, and smart she is. How she makes me smile even when I feel like the world around me is falling to pieces.
Recently my home life has been less than perfect. My mother’s health has been extremely bad and she is angry with just about everything. It’s like living with a black hole. She takes any good situation and sucks the joy out of it. So living with her has been rather bleak. Recently her medication has made her loopy and insane and I have had to take care of her. Susanna was so kind and let me come visit her so that I could get away for a while.
I should mention that this post was started at least a month ago. I keep writing and rewriting this. I really do not know how to express how amazing and important Susanna is. She is, like, my savior. Sort of. Not in a "she helped me get in a close and personal relationship with Jesus" way; in my sick and twisted mind, that just sounds dirty. Sorry, but it had to be said. That’s the kind of person I am. I think things and scream them to the world. Susana’s really helped me calm down without letting go of who I am. She has helped me deal with my mental health issues and makes me feel like I’m completely fine the way I am. She encourages me to better myself and to learn. She is constantly showing me new things and getting me interested in new subjects. Before I knew Susanna I would not have been so willing to do so. Change has always terrified me. Now I am more open to new things. On my trip to visit her I retried a food arch nemesis: namely, tofu. I still despise it but I felt safe trying it again because I knew that Susanna would hold no judgments against me if I didn’t care for it.
I have no qualms about admitting that Susanna is much, MUCH smarter than I am. I’m not putting myself down; it’s just a fact. The girl is brilliant. She is well versed in many subjects and possesses a deep thirst for knowledge. She Is fluent in at least two languages and is so-so in two others. There are some smart people who have a tendency to make you feel like an idiot when they talk to you. She isn’t like that. We can have conversations about something she may know more about than I do about and I still feel like my thoughts and opinions have value. I have never felt uncomfortable or stupid. She treats you like an equal and more importantly makes you FEEL like one.
At the same time I know she can hold her own with other smarty-pants. I feel weird saying this because for some reason I find it more interesting than she does, but here goes anyway: Susanna turned down Harvard. It was her FALL BACK SCHOOL.
This is a big deal to me because as a kid I was obsessed with Harvard. I was lucky enough to go with my mom on a business trip or job interview in Boston and we took the short trip over to Cambridge to go see part of the campus. Which is stunning by the way, even in the freezing cold of January/ February. I got to see a Harvard squirrel. (I was also into squirrels. Don’t ask.) Also, we went through one of the museums where I saw a stuffed Harvard squirrel, which kind of upset me because I was now aware that animals in museums used to be, you know, alive. I was under the impression that this poor thing had been snatched in the dead of night from its little squirrel family and then whatever it was that happened to make him all stuffed, you know, HAPPENED. To this day I prefer my stuffed animals to be more of the plush toy variety.
Did I mention the best part about Susanna? She still loves me despite all my crazy and has yet to file a restraining order. She’s kind of amazing like that.
Recently my home life has been less than perfect. My mother’s health has been extremely bad and she is angry with just about everything. It’s like living with a black hole. She takes any good situation and sucks the joy out of it. So living with her has been rather bleak. Recently her medication has made her loopy and insane and I have had to take care of her. Susanna was so kind and let me come visit her so that I could get away for a while.
I should mention that this post was started at least a month ago. I keep writing and rewriting this. I really do not know how to express how amazing and important Susanna is. She is, like, my savior. Sort of. Not in a "she helped me get in a close and personal relationship with Jesus" way; in my sick and twisted mind, that just sounds dirty. Sorry, but it had to be said. That’s the kind of person I am. I think things and scream them to the world. Susana’s really helped me calm down without letting go of who I am. She has helped me deal with my mental health issues and makes me feel like I’m completely fine the way I am. She encourages me to better myself and to learn. She is constantly showing me new things and getting me interested in new subjects. Before I knew Susanna I would not have been so willing to do so. Change has always terrified me. Now I am more open to new things. On my trip to visit her I retried a food arch nemesis: namely, tofu. I still despise it but I felt safe trying it again because I knew that Susanna would hold no judgments against me if I didn’t care for it.
I have no qualms about admitting that Susanna is much, MUCH smarter than I am. I’m not putting myself down; it’s just a fact. The girl is brilliant. She is well versed in many subjects and possesses a deep thirst for knowledge. She Is fluent in at least two languages and is so-so in two others. There are some smart people who have a tendency to make you feel like an idiot when they talk to you. She isn’t like that. We can have conversations about something she may know more about than I do about and I still feel like my thoughts and opinions have value. I have never felt uncomfortable or stupid. She treats you like an equal and more importantly makes you FEEL like one.
At the same time I know she can hold her own with other smarty-pants. I feel weird saying this because for some reason I find it more interesting than she does, but here goes anyway: Susanna turned down Harvard. It was her FALL BACK SCHOOL.
This is a big deal to me because as a kid I was obsessed with Harvard. I was lucky enough to go with my mom on a business trip or job interview in Boston and we took the short trip over to Cambridge to go see part of the campus. Which is stunning by the way, even in the freezing cold of January/ February. I got to see a Harvard squirrel. (I was also into squirrels. Don’t ask.) Also, we went through one of the museums where I saw a stuffed Harvard squirrel, which kind of upset me because I was now aware that animals in museums used to be, you know, alive. I was under the impression that this poor thing had been snatched in the dead of night from its little squirrel family and then whatever it was that happened to make him all stuffed, you know, HAPPENED. To this day I prefer my stuffed animals to be more of the plush toy variety.
Did I mention the best part about Susanna? She still loves me despite all my crazy and has yet to file a restraining order. She’s kind of amazing like that.