beedogs
I hate trying to write. Everything I write about right now has to be about a person who is desperately looking for a job and money. I can’t even pretend to exist inside of the head of someone who is not obsessing about these concerns. So far I have thought of stories involving starting a canine cancer detection service, building my own drug smuggling submarine, and starting a non-profit devoted to rooting corruption out of other non-profits, while in fact just being a sham organization designed to disguise corruption. The canine cancer detection thing would have been told from the point of view of a dog who had been laid off so that he could be replaced by bees.
“There used to be good jobs for any dog who wanted to work hard in this country. But now, with the damn bees…” Samson trailed off.
“It’s just disgraceful. To look at what this country once was, and what it’s become.”
Samson listlessly licked the turd at his feet, his eyes glazed and distant.
From there, the story would have turned to the dogs organizing a genocide of bees, which has actually been going on for some time, so it would have tied in to current events and been poignant and germane and relevant. The biggest problem would be making the genocidal dog empathetic, which probably isn’t really even that big a problem, when you’re dealing with a puppy, and all he wants to do is kill all the bees. Insects are naturally loathsome creatures. I might have wanted to talk about cancer too, to delicately unveil the terrible secrets that cancer study reveals about the nature of life. But that would probably be too heady for me, and I would just keep bringing up this quote I got about cancer epidemiology from Wikipedia.
Cancer epidemiology is the study of the incidence of cancer as a way to infer possible trends and causes. The first such cause of cancer was identified by British surgeon Percivall Pott, who discovered in 1775 that cancer of the scrotum was a common disease among chimney sweeps.
Nothing I write will ever be better than that single sentence.
“There used to be good jobs for any dog who wanted to work hard in this country. But now, with the damn bees…” Samson trailed off.
“It’s just disgraceful. To look at what this country once was, and what it’s become.”
Samson listlessly licked the turd at his feet, his eyes glazed and distant.
From there, the story would have turned to the dogs organizing a genocide of bees, which has actually been going on for some time, so it would have tied in to current events and been poignant and germane and relevant. The biggest problem would be making the genocidal dog empathetic, which probably isn’t really even that big a problem, when you’re dealing with a puppy, and all he wants to do is kill all the bees. Insects are naturally loathsome creatures. I might have wanted to talk about cancer too, to delicately unveil the terrible secrets that cancer study reveals about the nature of life. But that would probably be too heady for me, and I would just keep bringing up this quote I got about cancer epidemiology from Wikipedia.
Cancer epidemiology is the study of the incidence of cancer as a way to infer possible trends and causes. The first such cause of cancer was identified by British surgeon Percivall Pott, who discovered in 1775 that cancer of the scrotum was a common disease among chimney sweeps.
Nothing I write will ever be better than that single sentence.