Happiness Day 4
I am aware it's not calendar " day 4". My pace. Deal with it. :)
Day 4: Beware Unhealthy Sacrifice
To be happy, you have to know the difference between healthy sacrifice and unhealthy sacrifice. Healthy sacrifice is giving up something that is not helpful, authentic or smart for something that is, e.g., stop saying yes to everyone, cut your to-do list in half, quit trying to please everyone and stop denying your own needs. Unhealthy sacrifice is when you try to sacrifice your happiness, your health or your integrity for something else. The reason this type of sacrifice is so unhealthy is that it doesn't work in the long run for you or anyone else.
Be Happy Exercise: When you try to play the martyr, you lose and so does everyone else. One way to undo unhealthy sacrifice is to focus on receiving. People who are carers tend to be better at giving than at receiving, and this imbalance is what inevitably leads to sacrifice, exhaustion and unhappiness. Your assignment today is to be more open than usual, to let life support you and to let people give to you. Being a good receiver is what helps you to give yourself fully without giving yourself away. Published 07/08/2012
Homework:
I am enjoying how this process is supporting the messages I " already know" and the ones I am beginning to put into practice with shaky steps. Last week was filled with setting some healthy boundaries for myself. Sometimes that is with foods ( sugars - on day six of sugar free), people ( sometimes lines of ' ok' and ' not ok' behaviors and communication patterns need to be held firm to... regardless if it makes people not like you) and responsibilities ( what is truly a responsibility and what is a ' it would be nice if...'). I am starting to work on these and finding more and more support in doing this will get over the initial hurdle of the hard and icky parts.
Be a good receiver - I started opening to that thought in the fall and have been building on it in small ways. Perhaps today, I shall be open the the knowledge that I am not responsible for all the maintenance of the house chores. There are 4 of us living here and I am allowing the weight of all that to land on my hands. The children are capable of more than moving their fingers on an xbox controller. I will have to set those boundaries again and hold to them. There will be a hard push at first ( and periodically after) but it will be worth it.
Receive the help of others and the awareness that it's not ALL yours.
Day 4: Beware Unhealthy Sacrifice
To be happy, you have to know the difference between healthy sacrifice and unhealthy sacrifice. Healthy sacrifice is giving up something that is not helpful, authentic or smart for something that is, e.g., stop saying yes to everyone, cut your to-do list in half, quit trying to please everyone and stop denying your own needs. Unhealthy sacrifice is when you try to sacrifice your happiness, your health or your integrity for something else. The reason this type of sacrifice is so unhealthy is that it doesn't work in the long run for you or anyone else.
Be Happy Exercise: When you try to play the martyr, you lose and so does everyone else. One way to undo unhealthy sacrifice is to focus on receiving. People who are carers tend to be better at giving than at receiving, and this imbalance is what inevitably leads to sacrifice, exhaustion and unhappiness. Your assignment today is to be more open than usual, to let life support you and to let people give to you. Being a good receiver is what helps you to give yourself fully without giving yourself away. Published 07/08/2012
Homework:
I am enjoying how this process is supporting the messages I " already know" and the ones I am beginning to put into practice with shaky steps. Last week was filled with setting some healthy boundaries for myself. Sometimes that is with foods ( sugars - on day six of sugar free), people ( sometimes lines of ' ok' and ' not ok' behaviors and communication patterns need to be held firm to... regardless if it makes people not like you) and responsibilities ( what is truly a responsibility and what is a ' it would be nice if...'). I am starting to work on these and finding more and more support in doing this will get over the initial hurdle of the hard and icky parts.
Be a good receiver - I started opening to that thought in the fall and have been building on it in small ways. Perhaps today, I shall be open the the knowledge that I am not responsible for all the maintenance of the house chores. There are 4 of us living here and I am allowing the weight of all that to land on my hands. The children are capable of more than moving their fingers on an xbox controller. I will have to set those boundaries again and hold to them. There will be a hard push at first ( and periodically after) but it will be worth it.
Receive the help of others and the awareness that it's not ALL yours.