Foreign Exchange Thoughts
So I am considering the option of a foreign exchange student for the September to July school year. There have already been concerns raised about my stress levels and fear of burnout for me. Valid considerations and I do not wish to discredit or ignore any concerns in this rather medium sized decision to commit for 11 months.
Can it Physically be Done?
We have the in law suite so yes to bedroom.
Financially we are better off than we have ever been.
Truck fits 6 ( family of 5 +1)
Extra 10 speeds for summer independent transportation
School bus route for daily transport
What focus would it put or take away from the family?
I have spent a lot of time in the past 6 plus months focusing on my career and the past 8 months on our home structure. The one thing that has not been focused on is my family unit. SO how will bringing in a stranger help us to do that?
I can see a foreign exchange student helping us to turn our eyes inwards towards our home and life with the perspective of " how wonderful it is". Our desire to show Canada at it's best could facilitate seeing our life in a " glass half full" fashion and help us to see gratitudes and joys that we tend to gloss over or neglect to see when it is common and taken for granted. It would provide the motivation to look outside each of ourselves and at the UNIT of the home, the family unit, that we are and have.
In addition, it would motivate us to re-engage in social and community activities that are at our disposal that we would otherwise "put off" or dismiss as " next time". I regret that state of mind we had when living in Calgary that prevented us from being tourists in our own town, seeing the richness and opportunity in our own daily life, and taking in laughter and outing that make life more than work, eat, sleep, repeat.
Will this create more work for me?
I see an increase of 30% in home efforts. How did I come up with this number?
The student will be fitting into our already existing home routine. Anything that is already occurring I see only a barely marginal increase in my attention needed towards that activity. Mostly in the form of translation and cultural expectations. A lot of those needs will be met by Dman, his peer.
Dman will be attending the same school as the exchange student and that would provide a benefit to our family. An in house peer that will encourage my son to lead and yet be supported in the fears of being new. A peer to hang out with after school and perhaps become friends with. I have spoken with Dman and he is eager for the peer opportunity.
Being aware of ( translate to Feeling Guilty For) the lack of social engagement and social activities that I have involved my family in. Avoiding rodeos, midways, stock car races, theatres and performances like the plague, it is depriving my own kids from just enjoying the life and activities around them, pushing them to be homebodies ( bored) more and more. The focus of a engaging in the culture and community would remind us to get our own arses off the couch and make the efforts to go out and do. Something I have wanted for my family but not self disciplined myself into make happen. The change in priority focus would benefit my own kids in this situation. The increase in effort would not be JUST for the student, but a benefit for my own children and family. This would offset the allocation of effort. Yes, once a week at most this would make for MORE work. That is 14%. (100% / 7 days)
School meetings, parent/teacher meetings, taxi service and direct accommodation for this students travel would make up for the easily another 5- 10%. It would not be daily, but could include specific case travel etc.
Daily meals, life and social interaction is already a standard in the house. Family meal time is a minimum expectation already and a team effort. Accommodating another member to that dynamic would be barely notable. With three boys in the home already ( including one teenager) the addition of another would seem no more unique than one of the boys having a friend over. While this doesn't factor in personality conflicts, cultural behaviour variants and many other things that can't be for seen with out a more advanced crystal ball than I have, I feel those would be on par with dealing with a standard teenager in my home. I give this another Lets give that a 6% just to keep the numbers even.
Home care, chores, laundry and keep up of personal space would be their responsibility. I will not be cleaning his clothes, making his bed or otherwise " mothering" him as I don't do that for my own kids.
That brings me to the 25 - 30% increase in my work load. Is that a realistic and sustainable increase at this point and time? Yes, as it aligns with my goals to increase my own involvement with my family and as I foresee a drop in the stress/intensity of the creating of my new career as it falls into patterns and predictabilities.
In conclusion,
Overall I see this year and next year being prime opportunities to have the experience of a foreign exchange student as we do have pencilled in a relocation date of 2 - 3 years from now back to Calgary. There is a doubtful chance of having room for an exchange student at that time.
I want this opportunity. I may regret it but I would rather the regrets due to TRYING things than the regrets of not having ever tried. I want new, I want shiny and I want to engage with my family unit in that activity. An activity we can share in and explore together. Stories we can share and that can unite us.
I am at the 90% point of YES. I am waiting to hear the considerations that other Tribe members have on how this will impact them.
Patience... ya ya ya...
Can it Physically be Done?
We have the in law suite so yes to bedroom.
Financially we are better off than we have ever been.
Truck fits 6 ( family of 5 +1)
Extra 10 speeds for summer independent transportation
School bus route for daily transport
What focus would it put or take away from the family?
I have spent a lot of time in the past 6 plus months focusing on my career and the past 8 months on our home structure. The one thing that has not been focused on is my family unit. SO how will bringing in a stranger help us to do that?
I can see a foreign exchange student helping us to turn our eyes inwards towards our home and life with the perspective of " how wonderful it is". Our desire to show Canada at it's best could facilitate seeing our life in a " glass half full" fashion and help us to see gratitudes and joys that we tend to gloss over or neglect to see when it is common and taken for granted. It would provide the motivation to look outside each of ourselves and at the UNIT of the home, the family unit, that we are and have.
In addition, it would motivate us to re-engage in social and community activities that are at our disposal that we would otherwise "put off" or dismiss as " next time". I regret that state of mind we had when living in Calgary that prevented us from being tourists in our own town, seeing the richness and opportunity in our own daily life, and taking in laughter and outing that make life more than work, eat, sleep, repeat.
Will this create more work for me?
I see an increase of 30% in home efforts. How did I come up with this number?
The student will be fitting into our already existing home routine. Anything that is already occurring I see only a barely marginal increase in my attention needed towards that activity. Mostly in the form of translation and cultural expectations. A lot of those needs will be met by Dman, his peer.
Dman will be attending the same school as the exchange student and that would provide a benefit to our family. An in house peer that will encourage my son to lead and yet be supported in the fears of being new. A peer to hang out with after school and perhaps become friends with. I have spoken with Dman and he is eager for the peer opportunity.
Being aware of ( translate to Feeling Guilty For) the lack of social engagement and social activities that I have involved my family in. Avoiding rodeos, midways, stock car races, theatres and performances like the plague, it is depriving my own kids from just enjoying the life and activities around them, pushing them to be homebodies ( bored) more and more. The focus of a engaging in the culture and community would remind us to get our own arses off the couch and make the efforts to go out and do. Something I have wanted for my family but not self disciplined myself into make happen. The change in priority focus would benefit my own kids in this situation. The increase in effort would not be JUST for the student, but a benefit for my own children and family. This would offset the allocation of effort. Yes, once a week at most this would make for MORE work. That is 14%. (100% / 7 days)
School meetings, parent/teacher meetings, taxi service and direct accommodation for this students travel would make up for the easily another 5- 10%. It would not be daily, but could include specific case travel etc.
Daily meals, life and social interaction is already a standard in the house. Family meal time is a minimum expectation already and a team effort. Accommodating another member to that dynamic would be barely notable. With three boys in the home already ( including one teenager) the addition of another would seem no more unique than one of the boys having a friend over. While this doesn't factor in personality conflicts, cultural behaviour variants and many other things that can't be for seen with out a more advanced crystal ball than I have, I feel those would be on par with dealing with a standard teenager in my home. I give this another Lets give that a 6% just to keep the numbers even.
Home care, chores, laundry and keep up of personal space would be their responsibility. I will not be cleaning his clothes, making his bed or otherwise " mothering" him as I don't do that for my own kids.
That brings me to the 25 - 30% increase in my work load. Is that a realistic and sustainable increase at this point and time? Yes, as it aligns with my goals to increase my own involvement with my family and as I foresee a drop in the stress/intensity of the creating of my new career as it falls into patterns and predictabilities.
In conclusion,
Overall I see this year and next year being prime opportunities to have the experience of a foreign exchange student as we do have pencilled in a relocation date of 2 - 3 years from now back to Calgary. There is a doubtful chance of having room for an exchange student at that time.
I want this opportunity. I may regret it but I would rather the regrets due to TRYING things than the regrets of not having ever tried. I want new, I want shiny and I want to engage with my family unit in that activity. An activity we can share in and explore together. Stories we can share and that can unite us.
I am at the 90% point of YES. I am waiting to hear the considerations that other Tribe members have on how this will impact them.
Patience... ya ya ya...