Mar 22, 2005 10:52
well its tuesday and there are only 2 more days until spring break begins!!!!! yay im hyped.hopefully kayleigh is gonna come with me on saturday and bring davind with, thatd be awesome. yeah well i hate mr. brown hes so fucking lame and me kayleigh and ashley are still divorced...uhhhh gay!!! i hate this class and im not sure what im doing so it sucks, i have a 0%. i just wish today was thursday. im soooooooooooooooooo bored. stephanie, my sass worker, is coming over today. she is really cool. i just want to go home and sleep i have so much work i have to make up ASAP so i can pass my classes. its so hard and it seems like im on my own to do it with no1s help. i mean i know my freidns would help if they could but thats mostly not possible. im so sick of trying to work my ass off when im not sure if im gonna pass, it just makes me not wanna try. this school is so gay and act like its nothing that i have issues. cuz yeah i want to have all this shit happen bad in my life, no i dont. if i had a choice it wouldnt. yesterday ms. kelly said bad things come in clumps and im due for some extremly good stuff, and that really gave me some hope. matt says that all the time, but sometimes i dont believe it. todays afterschool plan is to burn the whole box of joshuas stuff i have and watch the memories just burn and fade right out of my mind. i cant even member what he looks like besides that one pick i used to have in my binder. i really love matt but im scared. i knwo he wouldnt do anytign to hurt me but im so afraid of getting to attached and me losing him for some odd reason. i dont want that to happen, but what if it does, adn now that we've taken our realtionship to the next level im even more nervous and i know if something bad happens to me and him ill end up in the hospital. i try to think nothing will b/c my heart tells me everythign will be okay, its just a paranoya(sp?) i have