I finally did it.
Well, I finally got up the nerve to offer the first items of Steve's Beatle collection for sale. He had 5 posters and some friends helped me take pics of them several weeks ago. I would look at the web site, look at the pics, and postpone doing it. There is something so final about selling his beloved Beatles items. It is like losing him all over again in so many ways. It doesn't seem to matter that the logical part of me knows I need to start selling these things to bring desperately needed money into the household to pay bills. I thought maybe it would be easier to sell things that he had stored in his trunk first - but, it was a lot more painful than I expected it to be. It feels like I'm taking a toy from a small child and selling it for something awful. There is a part of me that is so angry with myself for doing this - it feels like I am abandoning him. I sit here wishing I could take the email back and not sell them, part of me is hoping they won't make an offer for them. I guess all these emotions really sneaked up on me . I didn't think that it would bother me this much to sell some of these things.