later that week...
So what's been going on? Well, not really as much as before. Nothing is really new.
Aida is still being cruel. I don't know... it's like I really think I'm starting to move on, then I don't know. Like the part that still gets to me is how everything happened so fast. There's some things I wish I could say, but don't really want to put out in public.
It's just weird how... 3 weeks ago Aida was still telling me how much she loves me, and hey... we were even having sex. And now, it's like... like I don't exist to her. It just feels like she never gave me a chance, and never will.
She's also moving so fast with her new boyfriend. I think she is already going to move in with him and stay in Flagstaff over the summer to be with him. Not that I really care.
Another thing is that... I don't know. She makes me feel like nothing we had in the past, when at the time everything was perfect... it all doesn't even matter anymore. Sometimes it feels like it didn't even matter then. I feel like she didn't even care at all in the past. And when I start thinking that, I begin to feel regretful too. Like I begin to regret trying to hard and so long so that she could just throw it all away and not even care. And I even start to regret giving my virginity to her sometimes too, for other reasons. But I really don't want to regret these things. Because as much as I know now that we can't be together, I know that there was once a time when things were perfect between us, and I don't want to forget that time. I also want to grow and learn from my experiences and mistakes.
Another thing I fucking hate is when people say shit without even knowing anything. I fucking hate when people assume things. People don't even care about the truth.
"Mistakes and Regrets" by Alejandro Saldana
I wish you could feel the things that I have felt in my life.
If only you knew what I feel now.
Life's not fucking easy.
All you do is take it for granted.
You say you've been through so much,
But it’s nothing compared to what I have experienced
I'm still going through a lot right now,
And I don't expect it all to stop any time soon.
Suffering and pain are relentless, sometimes inevitable,
But certainly not forever.
You just have to know how to deal with it.
And there is no ignoring it.
If you do, it will only come back to haunt you
So I say, the best way is through the problem, not around.
Some day, I really hope that you realize all of this.
You are young and ignorant.
You have much to experience.
Don't get arrogant and expect life
and everything that comes with it to be easy.
You will struggle, you will stumble and fall.
Just remember that the way you take life now
and treat everyone is all very important.
Because when you fall,
and everything around you keeps kicking you down,
you will need someone to help you up.
Just ask yourself, "Who will be there?"
Who would be there to pick you up.
Is it who you expected?
Only time will tell if you are right.
But don't expect that when you have no one else to help you up,
that the very people you repeatedly kicked back down
onto the ground, filling their mouth with the fucking dirt...
Don't expect them to help and
Don't be surprised if they just turn and walk.
Don't make this mistake.
Your life and friends should not be taken for granted.
And no matter what happens, don't give up.
What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.
Don't make the same mistakes, learn from them.
You will experience many new things, good and bad.
Don't get too caught up or focused on either.
The bad will only blind you from the good.
And the good just lets the bad surprise you.
You only get one chance.
I hope you are happy.
I just want to say to all of my friends that have really been there for me. I don't know what I'd do with you. I love you Carlos, Adrian, Josh, Aaron, Kristen, and everyone else... you know who you are. Thanks to even those who were complete strangers, but still had the decency to care for someone in pain. People like Paloma. The world needs more people like you.
Aida is still being cruel. I don't know... it's like I really think I'm starting to move on, then I don't know. Like the part that still gets to me is how everything happened so fast. There's some things I wish I could say, but don't really want to put out in public.
It's just weird how... 3 weeks ago Aida was still telling me how much she loves me, and hey... we were even having sex. And now, it's like... like I don't exist to her. It just feels like she never gave me a chance, and never will.
She's also moving so fast with her new boyfriend. I think she is already going to move in with him and stay in Flagstaff over the summer to be with him. Not that I really care.
Another thing is that... I don't know. She makes me feel like nothing we had in the past, when at the time everything was perfect... it all doesn't even matter anymore. Sometimes it feels like it didn't even matter then. I feel like she didn't even care at all in the past. And when I start thinking that, I begin to feel regretful too. Like I begin to regret trying to hard and so long so that she could just throw it all away and not even care. And I even start to regret giving my virginity to her sometimes too, for other reasons. But I really don't want to regret these things. Because as much as I know now that we can't be together, I know that there was once a time when things were perfect between us, and I don't want to forget that time. I also want to grow and learn from my experiences and mistakes.
Another thing I fucking hate is when people say shit without even knowing anything. I fucking hate when people assume things. People don't even care about the truth.
"Mistakes and Regrets" by Alejandro Saldana
I wish you could feel the things that I have felt in my life.
If only you knew what I feel now.
Life's not fucking easy.
All you do is take it for granted.
You say you've been through so much,
But it’s nothing compared to what I have experienced
I'm still going through a lot right now,
And I don't expect it all to stop any time soon.
Suffering and pain are relentless, sometimes inevitable,
But certainly not forever.
You just have to know how to deal with it.
And there is no ignoring it.
If you do, it will only come back to haunt you
So I say, the best way is through the problem, not around.
Some day, I really hope that you realize all of this.
You are young and ignorant.
You have much to experience.
Don't get arrogant and expect life
and everything that comes with it to be easy.
You will struggle, you will stumble and fall.
Just remember that the way you take life now
and treat everyone is all very important.
Because when you fall,
and everything around you keeps kicking you down,
you will need someone to help you up.
Just ask yourself, "Who will be there?"
Who would be there to pick you up.
Is it who you expected?
Only time will tell if you are right.
But don't expect that when you have no one else to help you up,
that the very people you repeatedly kicked back down
onto the ground, filling their mouth with the fucking dirt...
Don't expect them to help and
Don't be surprised if they just turn and walk.
Don't make this mistake.
Your life and friends should not be taken for granted.
And no matter what happens, don't give up.
What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.
Don't make the same mistakes, learn from them.
You will experience many new things, good and bad.
Don't get too caught up or focused on either.
The bad will only blind you from the good.
And the good just lets the bad surprise you.
You only get one chance.
I hope you are happy.
I just want to say to all of my friends that have really been there for me. I don't know what I'd do with you. I love you Carlos, Adrian, Josh, Aaron, Kristen, and everyone else... you know who you are. Thanks to even those who were complete strangers, but still had the decency to care for someone in pain. People like Paloma. The world needs more people like you.