on the road again....
so once again i am not in buffalo. but this time its only for a few days. i am in indiana visiting my father. its wierd. its wierd to see his legs paralyzed, all kinds of tubes coming out of him, so skinny and sunken in...but yet hes still my dad. still criticizing everyone and everything around him. even in a hospital with tons of professionals around who have been doing their jobs successfully for years...my father is telling them he knows best and theyre all idiots. still talking down to us kids. its ridiculous i wanna scream at him and tell him to shut the fuck up and to just fucking stop already. and then i feel guilty becasue is so pitiful right now. and i shouldnt get mad over things that petty and stupid. the drive here wasnt that bad at all.meg and i just listened to music and ate TONS of snacks hahaha.
its wierd. i didnt think id miss anthony as much as i do. i mean im only gone for three days, but waking up and him not being there was just wierd. it didnt feel right. it was awkward when john would crash at my house and i would wake up and see him there. i would sneak around and feel just wierded out by him being there. it didnt seem right. we never touched each other, it just felt tense and awkward. with anthony we cuddle up allll the time, i wake up in the middle of the night and look over at him and my stomach gets butterflies and i feel at ease. i wake up in the morning and cant help but kiss him and smile. and im here and hes not...and i woke up this morning and it was just wierd. wierd that i missed him that much.im really glad that we met. im so sick of shitty guys. its a good change to have someone remember to call you, to not ditch you, to want to be with you as much as you want to be with them....anthony just keeps showing me how much he wants me in his life. not once has he told me i can trust him, not once has he told me he was good guy, that he cares....he just shows me. and that means the world to me. i think the more someone tells you they are a good person and they tell you that yo ucan trust them..i think they are thaat much more untrustworthy. that much more of a scumbag. actions will always speak louder than words in my book and anthony is doing an amazing job of being wonderful. i am excited to see where this goes.....
its wierd. i didnt think id miss anthony as much as i do. i mean im only gone for three days, but waking up and him not being there was just wierd. it didnt feel right. it was awkward when john would crash at my house and i would wake up and see him there. i would sneak around and feel just wierded out by him being there. it didnt seem right. we never touched each other, it just felt tense and awkward. with anthony we cuddle up allll the time, i wake up in the middle of the night and look over at him and my stomach gets butterflies and i feel at ease. i wake up in the morning and cant help but kiss him and smile. and im here and hes not...and i woke up this morning and it was just wierd. wierd that i missed him that much.im really glad that we met. im so sick of shitty guys. its a good change to have someone remember to call you, to not ditch you, to want to be with you as much as you want to be with them....anthony just keeps showing me how much he wants me in his life. not once has he told me i can trust him, not once has he told me he was good guy, that he cares....he just shows me. and that means the world to me. i think the more someone tells you they are a good person and they tell you that yo ucan trust them..i think they are thaat much more untrustworthy. that much more of a scumbag. actions will always speak louder than words in my book and anthony is doing an amazing job of being wonderful. i am excited to see where this goes.....