love for God

[ghostfriendly]

I've never even thought before of raging at God, or questioning Him directly. I honestly find it hard to like the ideas that He may want me to completely drop comics, anime and athiest writers, that so many people in the world are going to hell, and that homosexuality is wrong. I can understand and argue why all these things are just. I just can't

Comments

[sharikqah]

Reading this post, I felt you're talking about two separate things here: questioning God (and His commandments) and guilt from doing so.

I don't think anyone is exempt from these two struggles in the world today. The worst answer I could give would be something scriptural or doctrinal, because all it seems to do is to confirm guilt. The funny thing, though, is how your responses to the comments remind me a lot of my own scenario (i.e a second-generation Christian guy who's wondering how all this black-white-mostly-grey thinking that our leaders teach us is relevant to life).

I think that we'll always struggle with sin, throughout all our lives. The thing then is not to feel guilty about being unable to reach a certain standard, but to always be conscious of missing it.

Also, maybe try to imagine "born again" as something immediate, 180-degree-turn, but rather something that takes time. There's no single point in anyone's life when they decided to drop everything & believe in God. There are perhaps many "points" when you realise something new and deep about your relationship with God. This could be one of them.

[ghostfriendly]

I've been baptised for 8 years and I've always believed in God, but until about 3 months ago, He wasn't what defined my life. I did realised over a short time that I can't value anything else for its own sake, if I want to be called a Christian, but renewing my mind and actions to this standard are certainly going to take a lifetime.

The thing is that if I don't get rid of some serious problems, I won't be able to say that God is with me, or my belief is worth anything. If I focus on God, I'm sure I will get there. I just need to have more faith, and really enjoy worshiping God more than I enjoy anything else, in order to stop sinning.

The teaching I've been absorbing seems to be more white-grey-mostly black than anything else. I'm not entirely satisfied that anime, manga and comics are all sinful, but that could be because I just want to keep reading them. And the idea that if I want to watch anime I can't be living for God is really shaking my faith at the roots. As I am in the flesh, there's a limit to how holy I want to be, but beleving in God at all has to mean pursuing holiness.

[sharikqah]

Again, this are just some thoughts.

First, I think that it's good to understand that whatever faith or purpose you profess, it will take all your life to shape and perfect it.

Second, regarding your approach to anime & comics and your struggle with the flesh - I caution your understanding them as "serious problems". I'm not convinced by conventional church teaching that media (i.e the media choices we consume) corrupt body, mind and soul. Rather, I believe that these things are sinful only when they fulfill an already existing problem (again, debatable).

It might be better if you and a mature, discerning friend discussed certain personal problems and spiritual shortfalls that you might have. And later, both of you could look at your anime, manga & comic choices and come to a conclusion on which types/genres/specific types of anime, manga & comics feed into these problems. (For example, I may have an unhealthy view of relationships as self-centered, and might be using very violent sexually-explicit manga to get my fix or to validate my worldview). It's better, I feel, to tackle the problem at the roots. Because even if you abstain from those things you think are drawing you away from God and you don't solve the core issues, it will re-emerge somewhere else as a totally different problem.

This is essentially the context for my longstanding problem with porn, which I'm willing to talk more about if you want to hear about it.

Also, when it comes to worshipping God, I try to leave the exact definitions flexible. You don't worship God only at church or only while reading the Bible. Even though this is something difficult and personal to define, it'll be up to you find out how your choices in media consumption are a means of worship.

Finally, I must add that there's a lot of value in being a Christian reader, consumer and producer of manga, anime & comics. There's always space for an alternative personal interpretation that's not always evangelistic, but at least reflects your personal beliefs while rejecting extremes and excess.