But in the end, the only steps that matter are the ones you take all by yourself....
I feel so much stronger these days. A, well..today at least. But in general I do feel stronger. I feel like I can face anything and come out standing at the end. It's a nice feeling. I do not back away now. I will do what ever I can to set things right in my life.
I have been busy taking driving lessons and going to the gym twice a week. And then of course work...;)
At work I feel like the fact that I'm surrounded by sick and scared people makes me a bit stronger. Yes, I know it sounds weird but I feel like I can brighten their day at least a little. I can make them smile sometimes and listen when they need to talk. I matter. So I need that.
So I don't mind going to work when I know that I meet so many different kind of people and I can make them feel a little bit better and sometimes just by talking about the weather.
Even, my mum is doing better. I can see a light in her eyes that wasn't there before. Of course we all have days when we miss my dad.
But I think both she and I are doing so much better just by setting goals for the future.
A friend of my has cancer. He got the diagnosis a couple of weeks ago. They have removed his entire colon but now he has to suffer through chemo. I met him today and he looked a little bit scared when he talked about chemo.
But his prognosis is very good. But it's still scary that people around me is still getting cancer...
My aunt's husband has passed away. He passed away about a month after my dad died. We was never closed. My aunt passed away about ten years ago and after she died we hardly ever spend time with her husband. They hadn't any children. But now after he has died me and my sister will inherit money from him. It's so weird. I didn't like this man. But I didn't wish him dead.
The thing is he died alone. They found him on the floor in his living room. It was probably his heart.
No one deserves to die alone.
And now me and my sisters will inherit money from him.
So weird.