Email to TV Licensing
I couldn't help it, the idea took hold of me and had to be executed!
Dear Licensing,
I don't own a dog. To whom do I write (at my own time and expense) to tell them I don't own a dog, and therefore don't need a license for said dog that I don't own? I want them to visit me and make sure that I don't own a dog, because I might just be mistaken and I wouldn't like to break the law.
Contrary to popular belief, it isn't illegal to not own a dog, but I am being hounded by some crazy dog-licensing organisation that keeps saying that I am a potential criminal because I haven't bought a license for the dog I don't own.
I told the licensing organisation when I moved address that I no longer owned a dog. I said that a I had re-homed my last dog as I was becoming allergic to it; that a kind friend was now looking after it. I told them that I would not need a license as I would not be owning another dog because of my allergy.
Now they are sending me demands because they don't believe I don't own a dog, and have threatened to investigate me and look for evidence that I do own one. My next door neighbour has a dog and I am worried that trace of fæces left in my garden by their dog might incriminate me.
Stewart
p.s: to whom do I write to say that I don't have:
- poisonous snakes
- tigers
- lions
- elephants
- television
Dear Licensing,
I don't own a dog. To whom do I write (at my own time and expense) to tell them I don't own a dog, and therefore don't need a license for said dog that I don't own? I want them to visit me and make sure that I don't own a dog, because I might just be mistaken and I wouldn't like to break the law.
Contrary to popular belief, it isn't illegal to not own a dog, but I am being hounded by some crazy dog-licensing organisation that keeps saying that I am a potential criminal because I haven't bought a license for the dog I don't own.
I told the licensing organisation when I moved address that I no longer owned a dog. I said that a I had re-homed my last dog as I was becoming allergic to it; that a kind friend was now looking after it. I told them that I would not need a license as I would not be owning another dog because of my allergy.
Now they are sending me demands because they don't believe I don't own a dog, and have threatened to investigate me and look for evidence that I do own one. My next door neighbour has a dog and I am worried that trace of fæces left in my garden by their dog might incriminate me.
Stewart
p.s: to whom do I write to say that I don't have:
- poisonous snakes
- tigers
- lions
- elephants
- television