ALL I GOT TO LOSE
Hey, I have so much on my mind that it is ridiculous.
Ever since I turned 21 I have been more wild and crazy, never thought that could be possible but its true. I need to really stop partying so much. I think it is making me very sick and scaring a lot of people. I just am excited that I can buy alcohol now. Its wierd because I still feel like its wrong, but its not. I am a legal adult and that is just wierd because I don't make very good adult decisions. I say one thing and totally forget it and not stick with it, but soon I will da****.
On my last entries, I kept up on the working out. Learned the Carmen electra strip tease. It is just fun to try to look sexy, wish I looked like her but maybe after doing it with Lauren a couple more months we will!!! Haha. Its a good workout and kinda dirty but really fun. I wouldn't recommend guys doing it. But its fun for us girls. =)
So anyways another thing I guess is inviting people over here. I never got in trouble for this before but tonight I did. Me, Robert, Limni, and Joe were all hanging out by the pool. We just wanted to chill and have fun like we had all night. But I guess Limni and Joe were really damn loud that someone called the cops on us. We didn't get in trouble, just kicked out by the pool. The only other time the cops kicked us out was when I was with Joanna and she forgot her keys. We just jumped over the fence. It is not a big deal that they came but shit it ruined the mood.
Another thing is Kathryn. I just can't wind up like her. I know and sure we all have drove drunk once in a while but her accident made me very alert. I know I never really liked this girl but I can't believe how she is a live right now. She doesn't even remember this which is probably why she still hasn't learned this lesson. I am glad she is going to a psychiatrist but I think she needs to go to AA. Because this could have happened on my bday too. She is a mess when she gets too messed up. But she doesnt think she does. I just will never understand her, and I will never drive drunk again. I just never been so scared for someone i didnt like before. Shes a mess and I do wish the best for her.
Anyways, I havent done many stupid things being drunk, I have had fun.But I just can't keep replaying them in my mind. Like wow was I really that stupid. The problem I only have is that alcoholism is all in my family and I don't want to turn into an alchy. I just like it all so much. The hard stuff, beer, wine EVERYTHING. And since it is in my family, it scares me the most because this why my awesome grandma died. And I do miss her alot. I barely remember her and her memory keeps fading as time goes on. I really hope she is in heaven with God and that is what I am going to keep on believing, watching over me and my family
So it is now around 2:40 in the morning and I am going to try to go to bed and if Devin reads this... I am sorry for reals. I have lost my phone after working out today so that is the one reason I was hanging out with people. I have to make it up to you and I am sure I can find some ways to make it up to you. Everyone else I hope to see you real soon since Summer Camp starts Monday and I don't think there will be much time left. LOVE YOU ALL!!!
Ever since I turned 21 I have been more wild and crazy, never thought that could be possible but its true. I need to really stop partying so much. I think it is making me very sick and scaring a lot of people. I just am excited that I can buy alcohol now. Its wierd because I still feel like its wrong, but its not. I am a legal adult and that is just wierd because I don't make very good adult decisions. I say one thing and totally forget it and not stick with it, but soon I will da****.
On my last entries, I kept up on the working out. Learned the Carmen electra strip tease. It is just fun to try to look sexy, wish I looked like her but maybe after doing it with Lauren a couple more months we will!!! Haha. Its a good workout and kinda dirty but really fun. I wouldn't recommend guys doing it. But its fun for us girls. =)
So anyways another thing I guess is inviting people over here. I never got in trouble for this before but tonight I did. Me, Robert, Limni, and Joe were all hanging out by the pool. We just wanted to chill and have fun like we had all night. But I guess Limni and Joe were really damn loud that someone called the cops on us. We didn't get in trouble, just kicked out by the pool. The only other time the cops kicked us out was when I was with Joanna and she forgot her keys. We just jumped over the fence. It is not a big deal that they came but shit it ruined the mood.
Another thing is Kathryn. I just can't wind up like her. I know and sure we all have drove drunk once in a while but her accident made me very alert. I know I never really liked this girl but I can't believe how she is a live right now. She doesn't even remember this which is probably why she still hasn't learned this lesson. I am glad she is going to a psychiatrist but I think she needs to go to AA. Because this could have happened on my bday too. She is a mess when she gets too messed up. But she doesnt think she does. I just will never understand her, and I will never drive drunk again. I just never been so scared for someone i didnt like before. Shes a mess and I do wish the best for her.
Anyways, I havent done many stupid things being drunk, I have had fun.But I just can't keep replaying them in my mind. Like wow was I really that stupid. The problem I only have is that alcoholism is all in my family and I don't want to turn into an alchy. I just like it all so much. The hard stuff, beer, wine EVERYTHING. And since it is in my family, it scares me the most because this why my awesome grandma died. And I do miss her alot. I barely remember her and her memory keeps fading as time goes on. I really hope she is in heaven with God and that is what I am going to keep on believing, watching over me and my family
So it is now around 2:40 in the morning and I am going to try to go to bed and if Devin reads this... I am sorry for reals. I have lost my phone after working out today so that is the one reason I was hanging out with people. I have to make it up to you and I am sure I can find some ways to make it up to you. Everyone else I hope to see you real soon since Summer Camp starts Monday and I don't think there will be much time left. LOVE YOU ALL!!!