My Forgiveness
First: Due to Generalized laziness I've neglected live journal, sorry!!!!!
Now the entry:
It's funny what friendship can mean to some people. I'm still not quite sure what it means to me... Of all my friends, the one I've known the longest is obviously Jason. I can still remember third grade. We met there, at Braden River Elementary. We really became friends in middle school... Every day we'd ride home from school with his grandfather. Wow that was like ten years ago... That's really hard to believe.
In high school, we were each others rides our freshmen year. We were both in marching band, all though from our sophomore year through our senior year we didn't see much of each other...
Our senior year was the best though... We hung out almost nightly at his uncle's condo, and the true "boneheads" were born. Jason also helped me through a hard time spiritually through my senior year, and for that I truly owe him.... Wow...that was forever ago too...
Our freshmen year of college the distance came between us, and we didn't see each other much. However, to make up for it, we took a road trip that summer.
The rest of college I visited Crosswinds somewhat often, and even ended up living there part time, when I went to school in Tampa....
Then he was back in the area, and we hung out pretty decently until recently... Then he became virtually un-contactable... Every once in a while I'd see him at Publix, shopping but even that was rare... I tried calling him, messing him via x-box... no use...
Finally he calls me, says he needs to talk to me...out of the blue... So we finally get in contact and he's getting married this Friday...
The fact that this bothers me, makes me angry at myself, but he expects me to drop everything...when he virtually ignored me for three months... I'm trying so hard to make myself forgive him, because now he's going through so much.... But as lame as this sounds...being ignored for three months hurts...
The funny thing is, the part that surprises me most....is that I'm surprised... You'd think with the patterns I'd expect him to kinda disappear and reappear like this... But I rarely learn from my mistakes in any aspect of my life, why should this be any different?
I do forgive Jason, weather he knows he did something wrong or not... He is my friend and I should be there for him unconditionally... I mean, neither of us are perfect...
To sum up everything else, I see Heidi pretty regularly now, I bring her stuff and we talk and hang out. I even went and got Chinese food with her and Aliea, her best friend. She's still going to school, and she's still very busy, especially with Aliea being back in the area (she lived in North Carolina for a while). She's a waitress now, and works full time, which obviously takes up the rest of her time.
Work has been kinda lame lately. I do write a new newsletter for our custodial staff called "The Dirty News." I'm having to work behind certain managers backs for other managers, which is annoying...
In closing, I feel like kind of a jerk about this forgiveness thing, but friendship should be more than a "as needed" thing... But that's just me... I'll convince myself soon to forgive and forget...
"I found my way around to forgiving you, some time ago... But I never got to tell you so
I found us in a photograph, I saw me and I had to laugh... You know, I'm not who I was...."
Now the entry:
It's funny what friendship can mean to some people. I'm still not quite sure what it means to me... Of all my friends, the one I've known the longest is obviously Jason. I can still remember third grade. We met there, at Braden River Elementary. We really became friends in middle school... Every day we'd ride home from school with his grandfather. Wow that was like ten years ago... That's really hard to believe.
In high school, we were each others rides our freshmen year. We were both in marching band, all though from our sophomore year through our senior year we didn't see much of each other...
Our senior year was the best though... We hung out almost nightly at his uncle's condo, and the true "boneheads" were born. Jason also helped me through a hard time spiritually through my senior year, and for that I truly owe him.... Wow...that was forever ago too...
Our freshmen year of college the distance came between us, and we didn't see each other much. However, to make up for it, we took a road trip that summer.
The rest of college I visited Crosswinds somewhat often, and even ended up living there part time, when I went to school in Tampa....
Then he was back in the area, and we hung out pretty decently until recently... Then he became virtually un-contactable... Every once in a while I'd see him at Publix, shopping but even that was rare... I tried calling him, messing him via x-box... no use...
Finally he calls me, says he needs to talk to me...out of the blue... So we finally get in contact and he's getting married this Friday...
The fact that this bothers me, makes me angry at myself, but he expects me to drop everything...when he virtually ignored me for three months... I'm trying so hard to make myself forgive him, because now he's going through so much.... But as lame as this sounds...being ignored for three months hurts...
The funny thing is, the part that surprises me most....is that I'm surprised... You'd think with the patterns I'd expect him to kinda disappear and reappear like this... But I rarely learn from my mistakes in any aspect of my life, why should this be any different?
I do forgive Jason, weather he knows he did something wrong or not... He is my friend and I should be there for him unconditionally... I mean, neither of us are perfect...
To sum up everything else, I see Heidi pretty regularly now, I bring her stuff and we talk and hang out. I even went and got Chinese food with her and Aliea, her best friend. She's still going to school, and she's still very busy, especially with Aliea being back in the area (she lived in North Carolina for a while). She's a waitress now, and works full time, which obviously takes up the rest of her time.
Work has been kinda lame lately. I do write a new newsletter for our custodial staff called "The Dirty News." I'm having to work behind certain managers backs for other managers, which is annoying...
In closing, I feel like kind of a jerk about this forgiveness thing, but friendship should be more than a "as needed" thing... But that's just me... I'll convince myself soon to forgive and forget...
"I found my way around to forgiving you, some time ago... But I never got to tell you so
I found us in a photograph, I saw me and I had to laugh... You know, I'm not who I was...."