it's been a long time i guess.
I have always seen myself as strong. I need people, like relationships to be happy, but if it were to come down to it I could be absolutely alone and survive. My whole life the people who were supposed to be there for me did a pretty shitty job. I guess which is why I am so let down when relationships and friendships that i have put a lot of time and energy into break down and disolve into nothing.
For the first time in a long time I do not have a boyfriend, i don't have many close friends at school, and everyone I want to be with are not near me. and what is strange is i have no feelings about it, it's like i'm numb. It's like I'm in this weird limbo waiting for things to be the way they are supposed to be or something. i don't know.
i feel like im on the edge. i don't know on the edge of what, but it's like if a breeze comes and blows me either way i will fall. fall into what or from where? i don't know. but i feel uneasy all of the time.
i'd say i need a friend, but i dont know... maybe i need something else.
For the first time in a long time I do not have a boyfriend, i don't have many close friends at school, and everyone I want to be with are not near me. and what is strange is i have no feelings about it, it's like i'm numb. It's like I'm in this weird limbo waiting for things to be the way they are supposed to be or something. i don't know.
i feel like im on the edge. i don't know on the edge of what, but it's like if a breeze comes and blows me either way i will fall. fall into what or from where? i don't know. but i feel uneasy all of the time.
i'd say i need a friend, but i dont know... maybe i need something else.