Adventures in Gliterarture
Since many of me pals are writers, here's some advice I'd like to impart after a particularly special submission I opened for the lit mag I'm working for:
Now, I believe everyone has the right to be as fabulous as they want to be, BUT, when submitting your poetry to a literary journal, do not:
a) Hand write your cover letter in cursive, with neon pink ink.
b) Include a large black feather instead of the requested self addressed, stamped envelope.
And most of all, do not c)Pack a shit ton of green glitter into the envelope.
Unless your submitting to Ten-Year-Old Girl Quarterly, it's unlikely the explosion of glitter coating every surface of the desk will be perceived as the magical experience you hoped to impart. In fact, the only thing one could perhaps consider "magical" in this situation is the impressive strings of expletives that roll forth while vacuuming "glitter! Fucking glitter for Jesufucking christ's sake!" off of all the other submissions that happened to be out at the time your terrorist devil letter was opened.
Everyone knows real writers use sequins, asshole.
Now, I believe everyone has the right to be as fabulous as they want to be, BUT, when submitting your poetry to a literary journal, do not:
a) Hand write your cover letter in cursive, with neon pink ink.
b) Include a large black feather instead of the requested self addressed, stamped envelope.
And most of all, do not c)Pack a shit ton of green glitter into the envelope.
Unless your submitting to Ten-Year-Old Girl Quarterly, it's unlikely the explosion of glitter coating every surface of the desk will be perceived as the magical experience you hoped to impart. In fact, the only thing one could perhaps consider "magical" in this situation is the impressive strings of expletives that roll forth while vacuuming "glitter! Fucking glitter for Jesufucking christ's sake!" off of all the other submissions that happened to be out at the time your terrorist devil letter was opened.
Everyone knows real writers use sequins, asshole.