in which we cut loose and, not run, but walk away:

[gh0stmeat]

The nature of an abusive relationship, it seems, is to make you think you need it. The absolute worst form of emotional abuse is the kind that thinks it's love. Maybe it started out as love. I like to think it did, like to think we flew to strange cities for reasons bigger than ourselves. But I messed up, big time, and despite all the talk of moving past my mistake I saw it lifted over me and held there longer than necessary, turned over again and again in someone's angry hands.

What I'm saying is that I wanted it to work, and I tried as best as I could, but there's a difference between not good enough and you're not good enough. I don't think we even agreed on how to best get to forgiveness, and he insisted it had to be by his rules. What I'm saying is I walked away when I realized I had to do it for my sake.

It was my fault the relationship (shit guys I didn't even know I was a girlfriend; isn't it great when you are told these things beforehand) ended, but endings can be good and swift and clean, endings don't have to drag on the way this one did, I didn't have to drag myself across the floor begging for love to return when I have plenty surrounding me and a good enough amount inside me as well. I think he thought I didn't.

Off to prove him wrong.