Of sex jokes and squids
Before anything, I need to clarify a few things.
The Sorting Hat
coded : fanart | podfic | ficlet & headcanon
+ the setting
Set before harry potter even existed, but dumbledore exists and so does Snape.
How the sorting works, what is howarts!au all about, and how it ends.
exo club +
The club initially existed because Chanyeol wanted to procure minions, but it evolved into so much more. They were at Hogwarts altogether that one year, but even after graduating, they still meet up. Chanyeol expecto homosexualed everyone in first year, made them crossdress once and introduces strip poker in an attempt to get people naked.
G R Y F F I N D O R
baekhyun | Year 4
his patronus is a phoenix. got kissed by a girl once. only truly friends with chanyeol.
chanyeol | Year 4
he is from one of the 14 families which means he is loaded and noble thus more composed at home. at one point an owl was found dead in his hair. he's a genius and he knows it (but sometimes question it himself) , brilliant at charms without even studying. has crazy id eas & arguments, and sometimes baekhyun agrees with him. he's a rabbit animagus. Lost his pet scorpian on the train. Tried out for quidditch as a bludger. Cannot conjure a patronus. Tried touching jongdae's boobs (and a veela's) for scientific reasons. and stole his female uniform .Talks to peeves and the fat lady. almost became a deatheater. declined harry potter's wand. his eccentricity affects others (in magical ways). he fell in love with baekhyun the third day they met.
jongin | Year 1
he is a muggle-born bitten by a wolf, Kai is his alter ego. he joins the quidditch team, and becomes captain.
S L Y T H E R I N
wufan | Year 7
he joins the quidditch team as a chaser, and is also a prefect.
zitao | Year 5
yellow is not his color. Thinks he speaks parseltongue (but not really). Secretly an introvert. He joins the quidditch team as a seeker, roomates with nam woohyun. Lost his virginity to junmyeon
minseok | Year 6
he has gone to all common rooms by not wearing his ties at first, but steals them later, and gets fed that way.
R A V E N C L A W
yixing | Year 5
he is a unicorn, really. He hexes himself while asleep. the chronicles of his sexuality & his crush on junmyeon
jongdae | Year 4
he is a half-blood metamorphagus (but can't get pregnant).gets recruited into exo club for showing where the reference catalog is. almost became a chair. he is a prefect and later is offered to be headboy, but turned it down. lost his virginity to kyuhyun (alternately). stopped talking to his parents after coming out. dated tiffany semi-seriously after hogwarts.
kyungsoo
the squid definitely means a lot to him !
junmyeon | Year 7
he is a quarter-veela, which explains being a carrier sex pigeon. has slept with wu fan, zi tao, chanyeol and baekhyun, se hu n, jongin and anyone with a pulse (and prefers to be in control) . he is the worst headboy (and also very lonely)
H U F F L E P U F F
luhan | Year 6
He is a prefect, yet gets detention because of exo. He's also a seeker (and possibly captain)
sehun | Year 1
first day at Hogwarts, he's sorted in hufflepuff. Recruited into exo Club by luhan on the second day of school, goes on adventures and gets detention for a whole month because of them. Is terrible at poker. his mom is offended by hogwarts because it isn't a business school, but he charms his way out. Joins the quidditch team. confesses to Luhan during third year, but eventually realizes that he's in love with Jongin. lost his virginity to Junmyeon.
The Marauder's Map
Baehyun/Chanyeol
how they met
They've done it on snape's desk during detention, with baekhyun in a skirt in the girls' bathroom. Their first kiss & the kiss baekhyun remembers.
1st year: met junmyeon, swishing and flicking. Midnight adventures
2nd year: dementors, christmas gifts.
3rd year : tried to get drunk and succeeded. tried to get thrown out of a plane but failed.
4th year: first time having sex, sneaking out to have sex. Yule ball.
5th year : ignoring OWLS, visiting baekhyun during the summer.
7th year: coming out !
after graduating : chanyeol proposed and they got married
foresee the story of their lives, guided by emotion, intuition, and honesty when they're together.
lives many lives without baekhyun, but forgets about him the closer he gets.
Junmyeon/Jongdae
jongdae avoids Junmyeon at first, and Junmyeon clearly wants to sleep with him, but they don't, not until after everyone graduates, but they've kissed before.
personal respon sibility and why it is.
Sehun/Jongin
how they me t
werewolf epi sodes
tug- o -war with junmyeon.
Wufan/Zitao
how they met
It all started with a pet rock, then it went downhill from there, and then Zitao discovered polyjuice potion and all is well.
After Hogwarts, they get married.
Minseok/Luhan
how they met
leaves yixing hexed,
luhan has a problem with minseok's tie theft and house tresspassing (but he lets him sleep with him anyways)
© taoangles | falsifications | table codes | sorting au
last updated 130620
- I didn't write any of these, Els did, co-assembled with Laura. I'm just sorting out her hogwarts!au differently than the current system. Her main masterpost is in chronology, but I'm jumbling everything up by sorting individual headcanon/ficlets by house, and (love)stories by pairings. Although, if you're reading hogwarts!au for the first time, I advice you to read it in proper order.
- I know Els has stated in her f.a.q how strongly she refuses to have her tumblr ficlets to be reposted in livejournal. But she mentioned a change of mind a while ago, and I also asked for her permission before posting this, and she approved.
- Most importantly, Els did not tell/ask/forced me into organizing her fics. I initially wanted to organize them for my own convenience, but I just thought that while I'm at it, why not share it with other people who probably want the same thing, but bottom line is, I simply love her fics and I'm doing it for the love of it.
- Some ficlets/asks are linked as an evidence of where a fact comes from, so they could be linked more than twice.
- Everyone responsible for this post is credited, but if I need to add/modify anything (credits/content/wrong links/grammar errors), you can comment or tell me on tumblr
The Sorting Hat
coded : fanart | podfic | ficlet & headcanon
+ the setting
Set before harry potter even existed, but dumbledore exists and so does Snape.
How the sorting works, what is howarts!au all about, and how it ends.
exo club +
The club initially existed because Chanyeol wanted to procure minions, but it evolved into so much more. They were at Hogwarts altogether that one year, but even after graduating, they still meet up. Chanyeol expecto homosexualed everyone in first year, made them crossdress once and introduces strip poker in an attempt to get people naked.
G R Y F F I N D O R
baekhyun | Year 4
his patronus is a phoenix. got kissed by a girl once. only truly friends with chanyeol.
chanyeol | Year 4
he is from one of the 14 families which means he is loaded and noble thus more composed at home. at one point an owl was found dead in his hair. he's a genius and he knows it (but sometimes question it himself) , brilliant at charms without even studying. has crazy id eas & arguments, and sometimes baekhyun agrees with him. he's a rabbit animagus. Lost his pet scorpian on the train. Tried out for quidditch as a bludger. Cannot conjure a patronus. Tried touching jongdae's boobs (and a veela's) for scientific reasons. and stole his female uniform .Talks to peeves and the fat lady. almost became a deatheater. declined harry potter's wand. his eccentricity affects others (in magical ways). he fell in love with baekhyun the third day they met.
jongin | Year 1
he is a muggle-born bitten by a wolf, Kai is his alter ego. he joins the quidditch team, and becomes captain.
S L Y T H E R I N
wufan | Year 7
he joins the quidditch team as a chaser, and is also a prefect.
zitao | Year 5
yellow is not his color. Thinks he speaks parseltongue (but not really). Secretly an introvert. He joins the quidditch team as a seeker, roomates with nam woohyun. Lost his virginity to junmyeon
minseok | Year 6
he has gone to all common rooms by not wearing his ties at first, but steals them later, and gets fed that way.
R A V E N C L A W
yixing | Year 5
he is a unicorn, really. He hexes himself while asleep. the chronicles of his sexuality & his crush on junmyeon
jongdae | Year 4
he is a half-blood metamorphagus (but can't get pregnant).gets recruited into exo club for showing where the reference catalog is. almost became a chair. he is a prefect and later is offered to be headboy, but turned it down. lost his virginity to kyuhyun (alternately). stopped talking to his parents after coming out. dated tiffany semi-seriously after hogwarts.
kyungsoo
the squid definitely means a lot to him !
junmyeon | Year 7
he is a quarter-veela, which explains being a carrier sex pigeon. has slept with wu fan, zi tao, chanyeol and baekhyun, se hu n, jongin and anyone with a pulse (and prefers to be in control) . he is the worst headboy (and also very lonely)
H U F F L E P U F F
luhan | Year 6
He is a prefect, yet gets detention because of exo. He's also a seeker (and possibly captain)
sehun | Year 1
first day at Hogwarts, he's sorted in hufflepuff. Recruited into exo Club by luhan on the second day of school, goes on adventures and gets detention for a whole month because of them. Is terrible at poker. his mom is offended by hogwarts because it isn't a business school, but he charms his way out. Joins the quidditch team. confesses to Luhan during third year, but eventually realizes that he's in love with Jongin. lost his virginity to Junmyeon.
The Marauder's Map
Baehyun/Chanyeol
how they met
They've done it on snape's desk during detention, with baekhyun in a skirt in the girls' bathroom. Their first kiss & the kiss baekhyun remembers.
1st year: met junmyeon, swishing and flicking. Midnight adventures
2nd year: dementors, christmas gifts.
3rd year : tried to get drunk and succeeded. tried to get thrown out of a plane but failed.
4th year: first time having sex, sneaking out to have sex. Yule ball.
5th year : ignoring OWLS, visiting baekhyun during the summer.
7th year: coming out !
after graduating : chanyeol proposed and they got married
foresee the story of their lives, guided by emotion, intuition, and honesty when they're together.
lives many lives without baekhyun, but forgets about him the closer he gets.
Junmyeon/Jongdae
jongdae avoids Junmyeon at first, and Junmyeon clearly wants to sleep with him, but they don't, not until after everyone graduates, but they've kissed before.
personal respon sibility and why it is.
Sehun/Jongin
how they me t
werewolf epi sodes
tug- o -war with junmyeon.
Wufan/Zitao
how they met
It all started with a pet rock, then it went downhill from there, and then Zitao discovered polyjuice potion and all is well.
After Hogwarts, they get married.
Minseok/Luhan
how they met
leaves yixing hexed,
luhan has a problem with minseok's tie theft and house tresspassing (but he lets him sleep with him anyways)
© taoangles | falsifications | table codes | sorting au
last updated 130620