Two days in bed causes a lot of thought....
Someone once said that girls analyze things way too much and you know what I think they were right. I can't even tell you the millions of thoughts that were going through my mind this weekend while I lay in bed sick. I thought about so many different things...my friends...their problems...my life...my choices...my problems...my jobs...my dreams...seriously at one point all I wanted to do was make my mind STOP. Be clear for 5 minutes not to think about anything just sit in silence unfortunately in true "girl fashion" my brain wouldn't let me *LOL* So after a ton of thought I think I am all thought out. Oddly enough I have come to a few realizations and here they go:
1) I go through these stages where I want a deep meaningful relationship with a guy and then the next minute a relationship just makes my life more complicated.
I mean sure someday I do want to meet the man of my dreams and hopefully marry him, but that time isn't now. There are some people who would love me to commit and be in a relationship with them, but I can't. I feel suffocated like they have all these expectations and right now I can't put any more complications in my life. I have enough complications on my own and adding someone else into the mix just doesn't seem fair. Who knows? Maybe when I find "the one" as they say it will be different. I won't think that having in my life is a burden, but right now making commit is not something I am ready to do with anyone.
2) As much as I love my friends and want to be there for them sometimes I have to let them work things out for themselves. I can listen and try to present both sides. I can give them my opinion, but I can't be their savior. That's up to them. Like my IM profile says...Remember no matter what, every choice you make , every experience you have, makes you the person you are today, this minute, right now. None of us will ever be the same person we were a year ago or even 10 years ago. Life changes...time changes...and we change with it. We adapt...we make different choices and we become *GASP*!!!! INDIVIDUALS. It's part of life the Josie I was in grade school is not the Josie I am now. Life has changed me...people have changed me....and experiences have changed me. Believe me when I don't regret any of the changes that have occured they make up the person I am right now and I am pretty damn proud of her! *LOL*
3) This kind of goes along with two. I need to focus on doing things for myself. Some of you might say that is selfish, but I have always been the compassionate one. The girl who worries about everyone else. When I'm sick I not worried about getting better, I am worried about giving it to someone else or who is going to get shafted at work because I am not able to come in. I worry about whose feelings are going to be hurt? Or how someone is going to react to something I might do or say? I need to stop worrying about everyone else and be a little selfish for a change. Do what I want to do ....feel what I want to feel and fight for what I want in life.
One thing I learned this weekend that has caused me to change a little bit more is that I can't let people make assumptions for me. I need to form opinions on my own and if I feel like people are trying to help me out, but putting thoughts in my head I need to walk away. I need to clear my head and think about things clearly and rationally. Once I do that I can usually come to a pretty good conclusion on my own. I learned that when a situation gets heightened and emotions are running, I need to step away...clear my head and think. That's all for now. If you have thoughts you know what to do...
btw, these are purely my thought and my opinions they have nothing to do with anyone else so, if you took offense you read WAY too much into them.
1) I go through these stages where I want a deep meaningful relationship with a guy and then the next minute a relationship just makes my life more complicated.
I mean sure someday I do want to meet the man of my dreams and hopefully marry him, but that time isn't now. There are some people who would love me to commit and be in a relationship with them, but I can't. I feel suffocated like they have all these expectations and right now I can't put any more complications in my life. I have enough complications on my own and adding someone else into the mix just doesn't seem fair. Who knows? Maybe when I find "the one" as they say it will be different. I won't think that having in my life is a burden, but right now making commit is not something I am ready to do with anyone.
2) As much as I love my friends and want to be there for them sometimes I have to let them work things out for themselves. I can listen and try to present both sides. I can give them my opinion, but I can't be their savior. That's up to them. Like my IM profile says...Remember no matter what, every choice you make , every experience you have, makes you the person you are today, this minute, right now. None of us will ever be the same person we were a year ago or even 10 years ago. Life changes...time changes...and we change with it. We adapt...we make different choices and we become *GASP*!!!! INDIVIDUALS. It's part of life the Josie I was in grade school is not the Josie I am now. Life has changed me...people have changed me....and experiences have changed me. Believe me when I don't regret any of the changes that have occured they make up the person I am right now and I am pretty damn proud of her! *LOL*
3) This kind of goes along with two. I need to focus on doing things for myself. Some of you might say that is selfish, but I have always been the compassionate one. The girl who worries about everyone else. When I'm sick I not worried about getting better, I am worried about giving it to someone else or who is going to get shafted at work because I am not able to come in. I worry about whose feelings are going to be hurt? Or how someone is going to react to something I might do or say? I need to stop worrying about everyone else and be a little selfish for a change. Do what I want to do ....feel what I want to feel and fight for what I want in life.
One thing I learned this weekend that has caused me to change a little bit more is that I can't let people make assumptions for me. I need to form opinions on my own and if I feel like people are trying to help me out, but putting thoughts in my head I need to walk away. I need to clear my head and think about things clearly and rationally. Once I do that I can usually come to a pretty good conclusion on my own. I learned that when a situation gets heightened and emotions are running, I need to step away...clear my head and think. That's all for now. If you have thoughts you know what to do...
btw, these are purely my thought and my opinions they have nothing to do with anyone else so, if you took offense you read WAY too much into them.