really seeing
really seeing how right i always am with all these ridiculous journal entries. I can lie to myself as much as i want and the person who wrote all these entries can see through my bullshit. It is kind of sad in a way. To think I am over something, when clearly I have just buried it, buried you. This seems to be what I do quite often. So nothing ever goes away. Just like matter or energy, nothing really ever goes away it just goes somewhere else.
I am more dignified in myself. done wearing that heart on my sleeve and i think i really did that only for a second because after realizing everybody could get to it, i decided it was a bad idea. and man was it.
this is the thing that gets people: the grass is always greener. well the grass is always going to have the same problems grass has. and grass is still grass and not that much different anyway. just stop and think about all the times you have ruined something or dug the hole deeper by thinking: the grass is greener.
well what if you're stuck somewhere between green and green or brown and brown. more so brown and brown grass. then no way is good to go. so you just sit in the distance and try to choose someday.
I am happy that I only have a year and a half left here. I really don't believe I have found that person yet. Whatever person that may be. I do love my current person, but I really think it won't work out. I realized this last night and cried for awhile, while he did homework and you know it's ok because no one could stop it anyway.
When I realize there will be an end I get really sad for awhile. Such is life. I am sure someday I will be ok, but not today, not really.
I am more dignified in myself. done wearing that heart on my sleeve and i think i really did that only for a second because after realizing everybody could get to it, i decided it was a bad idea. and man was it.
this is the thing that gets people: the grass is always greener. well the grass is always going to have the same problems grass has. and grass is still grass and not that much different anyway. just stop and think about all the times you have ruined something or dug the hole deeper by thinking: the grass is greener.
well what if you're stuck somewhere between green and green or brown and brown. more so brown and brown grass. then no way is good to go. so you just sit in the distance and try to choose someday.
I am happy that I only have a year and a half left here. I really don't believe I have found that person yet. Whatever person that may be. I do love my current person, but I really think it won't work out. I realized this last night and cried for awhile, while he did homework and you know it's ok because no one could stop it anyway.
When I realize there will be an end I get really sad for awhile. Such is life. I am sure someday I will be ok, but not today, not really.