Attention, minions.
I have a confession.
I... am a wizard.
Yup. Genuine, bonafide, wand-swinging wizard.
I will even prove it to you, but my proof comes with conditions.
You'd pay $1,000 to witness my mastery of the black arts, wouldn't you? Of course you would. Therefor, in the spirit of knowing that I will curse you such that your toes smell of Smuckers salmon jelly for the rest of your living lives, know that you now make a pact between yourself and the Powers That Be, so that if you actually try this, you owe me the dough, motherfucker.
You shall take the following steps, exactly as described:
1. Buy a brand-new deck of cards. This will not work with a used deck. There's too much... mojo interference. (Hey, I said I was a wizard, not that I was Dumbledore.)
2. Discard the jokers, cut the deck 13 times, and deal it into 13 piles.
3. Now stand back . . . Ph'nglui mglw'nafh C'thulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
4. Look at the cards. Presto! They have magically grouped themselves by value - all the aces are in one pile, kings in another, etc.
You owe me $1,000.
I... am a wizard.
Yup. Genuine, bonafide, wand-swinging wizard.
I will even prove it to you, but my proof comes with conditions.
You'd pay $1,000 to witness my mastery of the black arts, wouldn't you? Of course you would. Therefor, in the spirit of knowing that I will curse you such that your toes smell of Smuckers salmon jelly for the rest of your living lives, know that you now make a pact between yourself and the Powers That Be, so that if you actually try this, you owe me the dough, motherfucker.
You shall take the following steps, exactly as described:
1. Buy a brand-new deck of cards. This will not work with a used deck. There's too much... mojo interference. (Hey, I said I was a wizard, not that I was Dumbledore.)
2. Discard the jokers, cut the deck 13 times, and deal it into 13 piles.
3. Now stand back . . . Ph'nglui mglw'nafh C'thulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
4. Look at the cards. Presto! They have magically grouped themselves by value - all the aces are in one pile, kings in another, etc.
You owe me $1,000.