Tuna, Tuna, Tuna
The year is almost at the halfway point and how far have I progressed on my resolutions? I wanted to go back to school, did the financial aid application, looked around at those colleges that responded, and … failure. The bad men want their money first. I would give them it but there is no guarantee that they would not just cash the check, say they never received, and come after me again. So my response? Fuck you.
I wanted to improve my health, work on taking care of things, and how did that work? I tried, I failed. No one cares so why should I? Really fuck everybody.
If I am the only person doing all this research and who actually cared? I do a bang up report on a bridge, no one gives a shit. Why am I doing this again? Something for me to do besides panhandling? Fuck all of you.
I used to want to go on a long hike and just … drop off the side of a cliff. Oops. No one would know, care, and then well maybe it was an accident? I like the outdoors too much to do it though. I end up wanting to stay around feeling the cool breeze, warm sun, and smell of pine needles. New plan, same as old but instead of a cliff it is … well I won't say in case someone actually tries to prevent me from carrying this out. Save yourselves, it is already over for me.
Ever notice those websites devoted to those who did kill themselves actually had things working for them? You think, “But they had a job … they had people who loved them, they were attractive. How could they?” I suppose we all have our reasons. They might have been better off than I but when you see no way out of a hopeless situation I guess we are all in the same boat.
Off to run errands, if I can get the will to even bother with.