THE ULTIMATE PHONE LOG - SHISHIDO AND CHITOSE
SPECIAL DELUXE CAPSLOCK EDITION - RATED NC-17
Edit: Don't judge us.
SHISHIDO: TACHIBANA IS A CHEATER AND A WHORE!
CHITOSE: KIPPEI IS RIGHTEOUS! HE DOESN'T CHEAT, HYOUTEI IS JUST STUPID! HE'S... KIPPEI IS RIGHTEOUS!!!!!
SHISHIDO: HYOUTEI IS NOT STUPID! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT YOU COULDN'T GET INTO IT!! TACHIBANA IS A CHEATING WHORE AND YOU'VE GOT BRAIN DAMAGE FROM GETTING SO HIGH ALL THE TIME.
CHITOSE: I DIDN'T EVEN APPLY TO HYOUTEI! I COULD BEAT RICH-BRO IN MY SLEEP ANYWAY!!!! MY BRAIN DAMAGE IS MINIMAL WHICH I KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE HOOKED IT UP TO LITTLE WIRES!!!! AND KIPPEI IS RIGHTEOUS, DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHISHIDO: YOU DIDN'T APPLY BECAUSE YOU KNEW YOU'D FAIL!! AT LEAST YOU ADMIT YOU HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE AND TACHIBANA DOES TOO!!!! AND HE ISN'T RIGHTEOUS!! NOTHING YOU THINK IS RIGHTEOUS ACTUALLY IS!!!!!!!!
CHITOSE: I DIDN'T APPLY BECAUSE I WAS APPLYING TO THE SAME SCHOOLS AS KIPPEI!!! AND NOT ALL OF US CAN AFFORD THE $500 CAVIAR FEE FOR HYOUTEI!!!! KIPPEI DOESN'T HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE!!! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE YOU AREN'T A NATIONALLY RANKED SINGLES PLAYER BECAUSE KIPPEI BEAT YOU IN A FAIR MATCH!!!!! AND HE'S HOT!!!!!!!!!!!
SHISHIDO: THE $500 IS WORTH IT FOR THE CAVIAR FEE EVEN THOUGH I DON'T LIKE IT I JUST FEEL IMPORTANT!!! HE DID NOT BEAT ME FAIRLY, I WAS SUPPOSED TO PLAY AGAINST--HOW DARE YOU SAY HE'S HOT IN A CAPS LOCKED ARGUEMENT!!!!!
CHITOSE: KIPPEI DIDN'T EVEN GO ALL OUT AGAINST YOU!!!! THAT WAS STILL WHEN HIS PLAYING SUCKED ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU COULDN'T HOLD YOUR OWN AGAINST HIM THEN, IT'S JUST BECAUSE YOU SUCK AS A SINGLES PLAYER, SPAZ-BRO. I WILL DRUG YOU AND GET "KIPPEI IS HOT" TATOOED ACROSS YOUR BACK!
SHISHIDO: FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THAT WAS STILL WHEN MY PLAYING SUCKED TOO SO YOU CAN'T USE THAT AS A LEGIT ARGUMENT!!!!!!!! I AM AN AWESOME SINGLES PLAYER!! JUST ASK ANYONE!!!! IF YOU DO THAT, I WILL SERIOUSLY KILL YOU. I WON'T EVEN KILL YOU. I WILL NEUTER YOU AND THEN KILL YOU!!!
CHITOSE: YOU'RE LIKE.. 3 FEET TALL, SPAZ-BRO. I'M SO AFRAID!!!!! DIDN'T KIPPEI BEAT YOU WHEN YOU HAD A SINGLES REMATCH AGAINST HIM????
SHISHIDO: JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE FREAKISHLY TALL DOES NOT MEAN THAT I'M A MIDGET!!! YOU AND TACHIBANA CAN DIE.
CHITOSE: REMIND ME TO TAKE PICTURES WHEN KIPPEI AND I HAVE SEX AND SEND THEM TO YOU!!! I'M SURE YOU'LL APPRECIATE IT, SINCE YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM!
SHISHIDO: LKJGLDSKJGLSDKJGLSKDJGLSDKJGLSKJDGLKSG THE MAKE OUT PICTURES WERE BAD ENOUGH AND I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM!!!
CHITOSE: YOU BRING HIM UP IN CONVERSATIONS CONSTANTLY!!!! YOU'RE HOLDING AN IRRATIONAL GRUDGE! YOU WANT HIM BAD, SPAZ-BRO! MAYBE I'LL TAKE VIDEO FOR YOU!
SHISHIDO: OH YEAH?! WELL I BET IT'LL NEVER EVEN HAPPEN!! YOU'RE BOTH WHORES BUT WILL NEVER DO IT!!!! I'M NOT SCARED!! YOU'RE BOTH YELLER!!
CHITOSE: WE'RE WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME, MORON! OR ACTUALLY WE'RE JUST INCREDIBLY AWKWARD BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO POINT THAT OUT!!!!!!!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN COMMENT ON MY PERSONAL LIFE!!! LIKE MASTURBATING TO FUDOMINE FANART!!!!!!
SHISHIDO: THERE IS NEVER A RIGHT TIME WHEN YOU ARE TWO WHORES AND ONE OF YOU IS TACHIBANA!!!!! I WILL POINT IT OUT ALL THE TIME FROM NOW ON!!! YOU CAN COUNT ON THAT!!!! NO JOKE!!! AND YOU INSULT ME WITH THAT LAST COMMENT YOU SKANK!!!
CHITOSE: I AM NOT A SKANK!!! I PREFER THE TERM WHORE TO THAT!!!!! SKANK MAKES ME THINK OF AVRIL LAVIGNE! I THINK YOU NEED TO GET SAEKI TO FUCK YOU MORE OFTEN! MAYBE IF YOU DRAW A MOLE ON HIS FOREHEAD, IT WILL BE MORE FULFILLING FOR YOU!
SHISHIDO: HEY!!!! YELLING IS MY THING!!! GO GET HIGH OR ELSE I'LL START CALLING YOU AVRIL!!!!! AND I CALL THE SHOTS WITH MY RELATIONSHIP HERE SO ESSTEEEFFYOU!!!!!!! AND I HATE MOLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHITOSE: I'M YELLING TODAY BECAUSE SOMEONE SLIPPED ME SOME VIAGRA AND I HAVEN'T HAD SEX SINCE LAST YEAR AND KIPPEI WON'T PUT OUT!!!! EVEN MELLOW HIPPIES HAVE TO YELL WHEN THEY'RE THIS HORNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHISHIDO: HAHAHA!! YOU SUCK!!!!!! EVERYONE IN THE WORLD GETS MORE THAN YOU!!!! EVEN TEZUKA!!! EVEN ME AND THAT MUST REALLY BURN YOU!!!!! THAT'S ACTUALLY A HILARIOUS PRACTICAL JOKE TO PLAY ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
CHITOSE: YOU REALIZE THAT I COULD PROBABLY STAB YOU THROUGH THE CHEST WITH MY COCK RIGHT NOW, DON'T YOU????? IT MIGHT AS WELL DO SOMETHING USEFUL!!!!!
SHISHIDO: ...oh. Well. Don't do that.
CHITOSE: ...yeah, that would actually be gross. I don't want your blood on my erection.
SHISHIDO: I don't want your penis in my chest.
CHITOSE: No, you want Kippei's penis in your mouth.
SHISHIDO: ...omg no I don't. I couldn't think of anything more disgusting than having his MOLE--I meant...his manbits in my mouth.
CHITOSE: ...your obsession with his mole bothers me on a fundamental level. I need to hang up now and scrub images of you sucking on his forehead out of my mind. ... Thanks for the helping me pick out a new conditioner.
SHISHIDO: I HATE HIS MOLE.
CHITOSE: HIS MOLE MAKES HIM MORE ATTRACTIVE. GOODBYE, SPAZ-BRO. I'M GOING TO GO MASTURBATE TO THOUGHTS OF KIPPEI FOR THE SIXTH TIME IN THE PAST TWO HOURS!!!!
Edit: Don't judge us.
SHISHIDO: TACHIBANA IS A CHEATER AND A WHORE!
CHITOSE: KIPPEI IS RIGHTEOUS! HE DOESN'T CHEAT, HYOUTEI IS JUST STUPID! HE'S... KIPPEI IS RIGHTEOUS!!!!!
SHISHIDO: HYOUTEI IS NOT STUPID! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT YOU COULDN'T GET INTO IT!! TACHIBANA IS A CHEATING WHORE AND YOU'VE GOT BRAIN DAMAGE FROM GETTING SO HIGH ALL THE TIME.
CHITOSE: I DIDN'T EVEN APPLY TO HYOUTEI! I COULD BEAT RICH-BRO IN MY SLEEP ANYWAY!!!! MY BRAIN DAMAGE IS MINIMAL WHICH I KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE HOOKED IT UP TO LITTLE WIRES!!!! AND KIPPEI IS RIGHTEOUS, DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHISHIDO: YOU DIDN'T APPLY BECAUSE YOU KNEW YOU'D FAIL!! AT LEAST YOU ADMIT YOU HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE AND TACHIBANA DOES TOO!!!! AND HE ISN'T RIGHTEOUS!! NOTHING YOU THINK IS RIGHTEOUS ACTUALLY IS!!!!!!!!
CHITOSE: I DIDN'T APPLY BECAUSE I WAS APPLYING TO THE SAME SCHOOLS AS KIPPEI!!! AND NOT ALL OF US CAN AFFORD THE $500 CAVIAR FEE FOR HYOUTEI!!!! KIPPEI DOESN'T HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE!!! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE YOU AREN'T A NATIONALLY RANKED SINGLES PLAYER BECAUSE KIPPEI BEAT YOU IN A FAIR MATCH!!!!! AND HE'S HOT!!!!!!!!!!!
SHISHIDO: THE $500 IS WORTH IT FOR THE CAVIAR FEE EVEN THOUGH I DON'T LIKE IT I JUST FEEL IMPORTANT!!! HE DID NOT BEAT ME FAIRLY, I WAS SUPPOSED TO PLAY AGAINST--HOW DARE YOU SAY HE'S HOT IN A CAPS LOCKED ARGUEMENT!!!!!
CHITOSE: KIPPEI DIDN'T EVEN GO ALL OUT AGAINST YOU!!!! THAT WAS STILL WHEN HIS PLAYING SUCKED ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU COULDN'T HOLD YOUR OWN AGAINST HIM THEN, IT'S JUST BECAUSE YOU SUCK AS A SINGLES PLAYER, SPAZ-BRO. I WILL DRUG YOU AND GET "KIPPEI IS HOT" TATOOED ACROSS YOUR BACK!
SHISHIDO: FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THAT WAS STILL WHEN MY PLAYING SUCKED TOO SO YOU CAN'T USE THAT AS A LEGIT ARGUMENT!!!!!!!! I AM AN AWESOME SINGLES PLAYER!! JUST ASK ANYONE!!!! IF YOU DO THAT, I WILL SERIOUSLY KILL YOU. I WON'T EVEN KILL YOU. I WILL NEUTER YOU AND THEN KILL YOU!!!
CHITOSE: YOU'RE LIKE.. 3 FEET TALL, SPAZ-BRO. I'M SO AFRAID!!!!! DIDN'T KIPPEI BEAT YOU WHEN YOU HAD A SINGLES REMATCH AGAINST HIM????
SHISHIDO: JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE FREAKISHLY TALL DOES NOT MEAN THAT I'M A MIDGET!!! YOU AND TACHIBANA CAN DIE.
CHITOSE: REMIND ME TO TAKE PICTURES WHEN KIPPEI AND I HAVE SEX AND SEND THEM TO YOU!!! I'M SURE YOU'LL APPRECIATE IT, SINCE YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM!
SHISHIDO: LKJGLDSKJGLSDKJGLSKDJGLSDKJGLSKJDGLKSG THE MAKE OUT PICTURES WERE BAD ENOUGH AND I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM!!!
CHITOSE: YOU BRING HIM UP IN CONVERSATIONS CONSTANTLY!!!! YOU'RE HOLDING AN IRRATIONAL GRUDGE! YOU WANT HIM BAD, SPAZ-BRO! MAYBE I'LL TAKE VIDEO FOR YOU!
SHISHIDO: OH YEAH?! WELL I BET IT'LL NEVER EVEN HAPPEN!! YOU'RE BOTH WHORES BUT WILL NEVER DO IT!!!! I'M NOT SCARED!! YOU'RE BOTH YELLER!!
CHITOSE: WE'RE WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME, MORON! OR ACTUALLY WE'RE JUST INCREDIBLY AWKWARD BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO POINT THAT OUT!!!!!!!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN COMMENT ON MY PERSONAL LIFE!!! LIKE MASTURBATING TO FUDOMINE FANART!!!!!!
SHISHIDO: THERE IS NEVER A RIGHT TIME WHEN YOU ARE TWO WHORES AND ONE OF YOU IS TACHIBANA!!!!! I WILL POINT IT OUT ALL THE TIME FROM NOW ON!!! YOU CAN COUNT ON THAT!!!! NO JOKE!!! AND YOU INSULT ME WITH THAT LAST COMMENT YOU SKANK!!!
CHITOSE: I AM NOT A SKANK!!! I PREFER THE TERM WHORE TO THAT!!!!! SKANK MAKES ME THINK OF AVRIL LAVIGNE! I THINK YOU NEED TO GET SAEKI TO FUCK YOU MORE OFTEN! MAYBE IF YOU DRAW A MOLE ON HIS FOREHEAD, IT WILL BE MORE FULFILLING FOR YOU!
SHISHIDO: HEY!!!! YELLING IS MY THING!!! GO GET HIGH OR ELSE I'LL START CALLING YOU AVRIL!!!!! AND I CALL THE SHOTS WITH MY RELATIONSHIP HERE SO ESSTEEEFFYOU!!!!!!! AND I HATE MOLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHITOSE: I'M YELLING TODAY BECAUSE SOMEONE SLIPPED ME SOME VIAGRA AND I HAVEN'T HAD SEX SINCE LAST YEAR AND KIPPEI WON'T PUT OUT!!!! EVEN MELLOW HIPPIES HAVE TO YELL WHEN THEY'RE THIS HORNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHISHIDO: HAHAHA!! YOU SUCK!!!!!! EVERYONE IN THE WORLD GETS MORE THAN YOU!!!! EVEN TEZUKA!!! EVEN ME AND THAT MUST REALLY BURN YOU!!!!! THAT'S ACTUALLY A HILARIOUS PRACTICAL JOKE TO PLAY ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
CHITOSE: YOU REALIZE THAT I COULD PROBABLY STAB YOU THROUGH THE CHEST WITH MY COCK RIGHT NOW, DON'T YOU????? IT MIGHT AS WELL DO SOMETHING USEFUL!!!!!
SHISHIDO: ...oh. Well. Don't do that.
CHITOSE: ...yeah, that would actually be gross. I don't want your blood on my erection.
SHISHIDO: I don't want your penis in my chest.
CHITOSE: No, you want Kippei's penis in your mouth.
SHISHIDO: ...omg no I don't. I couldn't think of anything more disgusting than having his MOLE--I meant...his manbits in my mouth.
CHITOSE: ...your obsession with his mole bothers me on a fundamental level. I need to hang up now and scrub images of you sucking on his forehead out of my mind. ... Thanks for the helping me pick out a new conditioner.
SHISHIDO: I HATE HIS MOLE.
CHITOSE: HIS MOLE MAKES HIM MORE ATTRACTIVE. GOODBYE, SPAZ-BRO. I'M GOING TO GO MASTURBATE TO THOUGHTS OF KIPPEI FOR THE SIXTH TIME IN THE PAST TWO HOURS!!!!