32
Aging. It happens inevitably. I turned 32, had a party, had some beers, played some games, watched some movies, and experienced friends. Blah. The days turn sunny after my party, but the weather is still cold, so the will to obtain vitamin D is stunted by the chilling wind, inviting distress and shivering, even in my own house- the room by room heating system I use is cost effective, but makes it very hard to get out of bed, especially with a sweet cat who is purring lovingly before squishing my face.
I devour social media, and it drives me into lunacy. Panic, fear, and desolation are the reactions of a madman in office, and breaking my own rule, I drank beer last night- I don't drink on Tuesdays, but I needed to not be panicking. I'm finding that I'm breaking a lot of self care rules as fear of an autocracy spreads. I try to think about the positive side, but it's at least four years away, and we currently are going to a very dark place.
I don't have much to think about or write currently. I stayed up very late last night working on a wiki, just plowing through it. I was fixated on working, having some escapism. It was a last ditch form of self care that isn't sustainable, as I'm currently quite tired, but I needed it, I think.
This madman is not good for me. The state of the country, a Muslim ban, selling of national lands, the flat out take over of the government, is bad. But I can't really look away, to do so would be treasonous to my own standards- if a fascist oligarch should rise to power, I am to resist. But resistance is exhausting.
I constantly think about what things would be like under Hillary. Boring. Quiet. Nobody would be paying attention, or at least nobody that mattered. Things would plug on, and I wouldn't be anticipating disaster every morning. I miss that reality, as that reality's Peter would probably be a lot happier and not full of loathing and despair.
But that is the reality we live in. A new fascist society. One that demands escapism constantly to avoid looking at the burning evil in our midsts, one we have enabled, and one that will ruin our country.
I have a Muslim friend. She's a CS student, and is just... A normal person. She likes selfies, food, going out for dancing, and writing emo poetry about how nobody understands her. I met her at linuxfest, and she kind of joined us during a bar crawl, and went so far as to keep texting me to make sure I got home okay. I don't think she can come into the states again, despite her wanting an internship here. It's... Really stupid. And I don't know what to say to her. She doesn't hate me, but god, I think the rest of the world absolutely does, for no fucking reason.
I just hope they are seeing the protests and understanding that most of us do not want this orange monster. He's a beast, and we want him out, we just have a bunch of fucking dickless politicians who can't do shit. Or won't do shit. Fucking. Embarrassing.
Anyway, that's pretty much the state of my mind. Occupied.
Germboy, out/Peace... And resist.
I devour social media, and it drives me into lunacy. Panic, fear, and desolation are the reactions of a madman in office, and breaking my own rule, I drank beer last night- I don't drink on Tuesdays, but I needed to not be panicking. I'm finding that I'm breaking a lot of self care rules as fear of an autocracy spreads. I try to think about the positive side, but it's at least four years away, and we currently are going to a very dark place.
I don't have much to think about or write currently. I stayed up very late last night working on a wiki, just plowing through it. I was fixated on working, having some escapism. It was a last ditch form of self care that isn't sustainable, as I'm currently quite tired, but I needed it, I think.
This madman is not good for me. The state of the country, a Muslim ban, selling of national lands, the flat out take over of the government, is bad. But I can't really look away, to do so would be treasonous to my own standards- if a fascist oligarch should rise to power, I am to resist. But resistance is exhausting.
I constantly think about what things would be like under Hillary. Boring. Quiet. Nobody would be paying attention, or at least nobody that mattered. Things would plug on, and I wouldn't be anticipating disaster every morning. I miss that reality, as that reality's Peter would probably be a lot happier and not full of loathing and despair.
But that is the reality we live in. A new fascist society. One that demands escapism constantly to avoid looking at the burning evil in our midsts, one we have enabled, and one that will ruin our country.
I have a Muslim friend. She's a CS student, and is just... A normal person. She likes selfies, food, going out for dancing, and writing emo poetry about how nobody understands her. I met her at linuxfest, and she kind of joined us during a bar crawl, and went so far as to keep texting me to make sure I got home okay. I don't think she can come into the states again, despite her wanting an internship here. It's... Really stupid. And I don't know what to say to her. She doesn't hate me, but god, I think the rest of the world absolutely does, for no fucking reason.
I just hope they are seeing the protests and understanding that most of us do not want this orange monster. He's a beast, and we want him out, we just have a bunch of fucking dickless politicians who can't do shit. Or won't do shit. Fucking. Embarrassing.
Anyway, that's pretty much the state of my mind. Occupied.
Germboy, out/Peace... And resist.